Khair Al-Hazirin

improve your faith

2011-06-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang minda kitani bertanya kenapa Allah atu inda dapat kitani lihat. It's these kind of questions yang syaitan mudah bisik dalam hati kitani utuk buat kitani ragu-ragu.

Okay, here you are reading this blog post using your laptop. How much do you belive that there is a laptop in front of you? If I asked you, pecaya ko kah yang ada laptop dapan mata mu? You'd say, awulah! Because it's right here infront of my eyes. Correct. The fact that the laptop is in front of your eyes, requires you to inda payah convince yourself lagi that the laptop is in front of you. You need no further proof of its presence, simply because you are witnessing its presence.

Now, imagine there's no laptop, and someone tells you there is a laptop infront of you. What do you do? You check if there really a laptop. You seek around, just in case if there really is a laptop. Just in case you might've missed it. (Keyword to remember: seek).

Going back to the question of why we can't see Allah - If we can see Allah SWT, you would treat Allah like how you treat the presence of your laptop. You will not seek for proof of Allah's presence. You will not appreciate Allah's presence. You will not strengthen your belief of Allah's presence. Allah wants us to seek for that belief, not just seek, but deepen that belief. Because believing is far beyond just seeing. It's about seeking for that feeling of Allah's presence (kewujudan).

This belief of Allah is what we call aqidah.

In a relationship

2010-10-15T22:47:00.002+08:00

Imagine you are walking at the Mall when suddenly a stranger asks you to pick up a piece of trash on the floor. Would you? You wouldn't. Why? Because you don't know this person and suddenly he's asking you to do a favour. Now picture the exact same situation, but this time it's a close friend of yours instead who's asking you to do that favour. Now would you? You insya Allah will. Hold that thought.

We often find ourselves committing sins and leaving our duties to Allah. We try to not sin, and yet we fail. Day in, day out, we claim we want to change, but again, we keep on failing. At the end of the day, we give up. Syaitan gets the best out of us. Astaghfirullah, grant us mercy ya Rabb! :(

Going back to the first part of this post; what I'm trying to say is that: us humans would only respond to favours if we have a good relationship with the person who's asking for the favour, don't you think so? If you don't like someone, or have zero-relationship with him/her, you are most likely to snub his/her request. Think about it.

The same thing applies to our relationship with Allah. Kenapa kitani mendapati diri kitani masih ingkar kepada Allah is simply because kitani inda kenal Allah, atau hubungan masih renggang sama Allah. If we make an effort to get closer to Allah, Allah shall get closer to us as well. The closer we are to Allah, the lesser we are prone to committing sins. Hakikatnya kitani inda mencintai Allah wah, sebab atu lah kitani berani kan ingkar kepada Allah, malas kan mengabdikan diri kepada Allah. Just the thought of "inda cinta Allah" is scary and almost sounds blasphemous. It's a reality check. Cuba kitani tanya diri kitani - adakah kitani cinta Allah? Tanya hati, jangan tanya mulut. Pasal mulut kitani sering berdusta.

Masalahnya, kitani rasa kitani kenal Allah sudah wah. Tapi look, if we still find ourselves sinning, inda tah tu jawapannya, inda tah kitani kenal tu ertinya. Kitani fikir kitani yang abis ugama darjah enam, pernah belajar 20 sifat-sifat, hafal lagu 99 nama-nama Allah, ertinya sudah tah kitani kenal Allah tu. Cukup kah ilmu sekolah agama untuk menyelamatkan kitani dari api neraka? Inda cukup :( Iatah pentingnya kitani sepatutnya dengan akal yang sihat ani patut continue mengenali Allah. Tiada berhentinya dalam mengenali Allah. There is no end point. It's an ongoing journey.

Dosa memang susah untul ditinggalkan. But don't we give up. If you still find yourself failing to leave a particular sin, make sure hubungan dengan Allah mantap. Insya Allah jika kitani usaha untuk rapat kepada Allah, akan diberiNya kekuatan untuk meninggalkan dosa atu.

Kitani mau status 'in a relationship' with Allah. Bukannya status 'its complicated' atau 'single'.

Diri ini mengingati diri yang alpa ini dahulu sebelum mengingati manusia yang sedang membaca tulisan yang sangat kurang hikmah ini. Semua yang baik dan yang dapat dimanfaatkan datangnya dari Allah, pencipta ku dan pencipta mu. Yang buruk dan yang kurang pula datangnya dari kelemahan diriku.

'Auto-Pilot'

2010-08-16T23:20:00.003+08:00

How's everybody treating this blissful month of Ramadhan thus far? Alhamdulillah kitani panjatkan kesyukuran kepada Allah SWT kerana memberikan kitani peluang untuk bertemu dengan bulan Ramadhan tahun ani. Tahmeed ya nafsi, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

Kitani sangat-sangat beruntung sebenarnya. Cuba bezakan nasib kitani dengan nasib ibubapa, saudara-saudari dan sahabat kitani yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah sebelum ani. Kitani lebih beruntung daripada bisdurang. Tapi kitani inda sadar betapa besarnya nikmat Ramadhan yang telah dikurniakan pada kitani. Ramadhan tahun ani kemungkinan yang terakhir buat kitani. Siapa tahu sebelum tibanya Ramadhan yang seterusnya kitani bertemu ajal. Siapa tahu esuk lusa kitani bertemu ajal. Siapa tahu?

Sedih dan pilu di hati mengenangkan nasib mereka yang sudah tiada. Terputus peluang mereka untuk meraih keampunan dan keredhaan Allah SWT di bulan yang penuh barakah ani. Tapi, insya Allah, kehadiran kitani masih mempunyai impak kepada mereka. Jadi lah kitani seorang anak yang soleh, insya Allah mereka pun akan ampit amalan-amalan kitani...

Ya Allah, ampitilah ibubapa ku pahala amalan-amalan ku - is what I always include in my doa. But the question is: cukup ikhlas kah amalan ku yang kan ku ampiti orang lain ani? Sekiranya amalan-amalan ku ani tidak mencukupi untuk diriku sendiri, cemana tah ku kan mengampiti pahala ku kepada ibubapa ku? Sedih...

Tapi inda apa, masih ada peluang untuk memperbaiki diri. Terutamanya di bulan ini. Insya Allah :D

Sangat rugi kalau kitani inda manfaatkan bulan ani. Pahala dilipat ganda. Dosa dihapuskan. Syaitan dibelenggu. Ani tah peluang kitani melatih diri kitani yang degil ani untuk tunduk patuh kepada Allah SWT. This is the time. Bulan-bulan lain ada syaitan yang akan menggelincirkan kitani, tapi bulan ani berbeza. Kita tiada musuh, selain nafsu kitani yang selama ini berkawan sama syaitan. Our nafsu is alone untuk kitani asah supaya tunduk kepada Allah. Supaya bila syaitan kembali tanggal 1 Syawal nanti, ia inda akan kenal bisikan syaitan.

Kitani hairan... oh kenapa inda ada syaitan ani masih lagi ku buat dusa? Did you really think when syaitan left us, he just left cematu-cematu saja? Sebenarnya ia pun berusaha selama 11 bulan yang lalu menyesatkan kitani supaya nafsu kita 'auto-pilot' time bulan Ramadhan ani. Kirakan supaya masa ia nada, masih kitani membuat dusa. Seperti gasing yang dipusing oleh tali pada awalnya agar ia berpusing sendiri selepas atu tanpa tali... That's what syaitan have done to us.

Our nafsu and syaitan have been so close to each other the past 11 months. But we have the whole of this month to train our nafsu, supaya it can be sustained for the next 11 following months. Semoga nanti masa syaitan kana lapaskan, nafsu kitani ani inda lagi mengenal syaitan. Inda kawan sama durang .

It's like this. Imagine jiran kitani menyuruh kitani menjaga kucingnya pasal ia kan belayar sebulan. Kucing nya ani lawa, tabal bulunya, lampuh, kiut lah kiut. Memang awal-awalnya kucing atu inda berapa jinak sama kitani. Tapi hari demi hari, bila kitani bagi ia makan nyaman-nyaman, sekali kitani berjinak-jinak sama ia, ia pun mula jinak sama kitani. Sekali by the time jiran kitani balik dari belayar, kucing ani sangat-sangat suka pada kitani sampai ia inda mau balik & inda lagi jinak arah jiran kitani ani. Di balikkan arah jiran, lari ia jua masih arah kitani semula. Di kurung dalam sangkar oleh jiran, sampai bekusut ia menangis minta lapaskan ke rumah sebalah arah kitani. Hehehe :D

That's what we want when Syawal strikes. We want our nafsu ani untuk masih tunduk kepada Allah SWT, forever tunduk kepadaNya, inda tunduk kepada anything else AT ALL. Walaupun syaitan bisik untuk tunduk arahnya, ia sudah terbiasa untuk hanya tunduk kepada Allah SWT.

Mau kah kitani cematu? Untuk diri kitani ani hanya tunduk kepada Allah? It won't happen just like that, it needs us to train ourselves. Banyakkan membaca Al-Qur'an dan tafsirnya, berzikir mengingati Allah, mengingati/menyesali/menginsafi dosa-dosa yang menggunung banyaknya, mengingati mati... and especially and most importantly, SOLAT MALAM.

Come, mari kitani sama-sama perbaharui niat kitani masing-masing. Sama-sama kitani manfaatkan bulan ani. Kitani gandakan usaha. Kita berperang dengan kehendak nafsu yang telah ditinggalkan oleh syaitan. Ramadhan is a school and we want to graduate and pass out as hamba Allah yang bertaqwa, beriman, soleh... insya Allah! Amin amin amin...

Please tell me what you think.

2010-06-10T01:01:00.012+08:00

I think there is too much emphasis on cara-cara untuk melindungi diri daripada gangguan makhluk halus, jins and all these evil beings, in the media today. Night after night there's always a section on the radio about it. If not on the radio, it's the topic of a ceramah at a masjid near you. I mean, I am sure there are more beneficial things that we can talk about.

Gangguan makhluk halus (dan gangguan-gangguan yang sewaktu dengannya) can only mean one thing; and that is: HUBUNGAN YANG SANGAT RENGGANG DENGAN ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TA'ALA.

I'm just saying, why can't we focus on telling people on ways of how to get closer to Allah rather than focusing on telling people on ways of protecting themselves from these evil beings? Do you reckon ceramah-ceramah pasal jin-jin & makhluk halus ani menambahkan iman? Rasa-rasanya orang akan lebih takut pada jin-jin/makhluk halus tepulang. Bila manusia takut kepada jin, itu sudah menyelewengkan aqidah, inda kah? Hmm... please please perbetulkan diri ani jika saya salah.

What are your thoughts?

Wassalam. Semoga semua sentiasa dalam perlindungan Allah, sesungguhnya Allah lah sebaik-baik pelindung.

Can we have khutbahs like these?

2010-06-04T07:49:00.000+08:00

Gaza Flotilla Attack: Does it affect you?

2010-06-02T02:42:00.006+08:00

Jika kitani inda merasakan walau sedikit pun kesedihan terhadap apa yang telah berlaku a few days ago ani, something is wrong with our hearts! Kalau ianya inda affect kitani langsung, bermakna ada sesuatu yang inda kena dengan akidah kita. Soal Palestin ani soal aqidah wah ni! They are our brothers and they are our sisters, we are united by this faith that we CLAIM to hold.

Wake up my dear brother and sisters! Let go your headphones and stop humming to your favourite songs! Let go of your Astro remote controllers and leave that football match you have waken up for! Let go of that emblem on your heart that reads out 'IGNORANCE'! Lets make do'a for them the very least! Solat hajat for them, and for those who are sacrificing their lives to help them!

Imagine kitani bejalan di jalan raya, sekali kitani nampak ada kanak-kanak kana bunuh. Kitani tinggalkan and inda buat apa-apa kah? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CURRENTLY DOING TO OUR PALESTINIAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

Such heartless people we are... Astagfirallah, astaghfirallah, astaghfirallah... Ya Allah, please grant us your mercy. Kurniakanlah saudara kami di Palestina syafaat mu ya Rabb...

My thoughts on Hari Tenaga

2010-05-24T13:51:00.003+08:00

I totally support the idea of conserving energy, big time. Why? Pasal Islam mengajar kita untuk tidak membazir. But I am against the idea of having a specific day to conserve energy. The question is, why just one day? Sure, it's a start lah barangkali. Does it really create awareness? Will people actually carry on after the day?

It's not just energy day. Same applies to mother's day, water awareness day, world forest day, breast cancer awareness day, et cetera. Why should we only be aware about saving water on just one specific day? Why be aware about trees on one specific day? Why sympathise breast cancer patients just for a day? So next day perhaps back to wasting water, back to wasting lots of papers, back to "i-don't-give-a-tiny-rat's-tush-about-breast-cancer-patients"?

If you think those one day awareness days are awesome, how about these suggestions below? What do you think of them??

1. Pray 5 Times A Day Day
2. Let's Practice Islam Day
3. Remember Allah Day
4. Lets Be Nice Day
5. Help An Anak Yatim Day
6. Iman & Taqwa Day

What do you think? They're all faulty suggestions kan? Tau pun. Because as muslims, andangnya we pray 5 times a day everyday (sepatutnya). Andangnya we practise islam everyday (sepatutnya). Andangnya we remember Allah always (sepatutnya). Andanganya we're always nice (sepatutnya). Andangya we're supposed to conserve energy everyday. Andangnya we're suppose to sympathise cancer patients everytime.

Having these one day awareness programmes won't solve any problem. Then what can? Simple.

Turn back to Islam, back to the Qur'an, back to the Sunnah.

It's the only way. It's the right way.

By the way, did you see the petrol stations the night before the day petrol was going to be charged with its unsubsidised price? Ramai ah! Panjang queue nya! That's when people know the price of fuel will be raised. So, a friend and I was wondering, will the same thing happen if entrance to mosques were to be charged the next day? Will cars be queuing like that into the mosques?

Rasa malas & nikmat di dalamnya

2010-05-03T11:42:00.008+08:00

Rasa malas kan solat adalah nikmat. Hmmm... before you start judging my statement, please make time to read what I have to say. You might wonder, aiks? How is that a nikmat? I think inda keterlaluan jua if I say bisikan syaitan atu adalah nikmat. How so? Bear with me.

Allah Ta'ala berfirman di dalam Surah At-Taubah, kira-kira bermaksud: "Berangkatlah kamu baik dalam keadaan merasa ringan atau pun merasa berat, dan berjihadlah dengan harta dan dirimu di jalan Allah."

Take two situations; satu situasi dimana you feel ringan untuk solat (itulah tanda adanya iman!), another situation where you feel lazy to solat. But at the end of both situations, you end up praying jua. In this case, just by logic alone, which situation, rasa-rasanya, lebih besar pahalanya? In my opinion, I'd say situation number 2, where you end up praying even though you felt lazy in the first place. Do you agree? Because kan walaupun kitani rasa malas kan solat, in the end, kitani mampu jua melawan nafsu diri kitani. Kitani mampu kalahkan bisikan syaitan yang membisikkan "jangan solat" ke dalam dada kitani. Do you agree?

Hmm, maybe an analogy can well explain what I'm trying to convey here. Okay, this may be a bad analogy what I'm going to come up with, but I hope you get the message! Hehehe...

Two men, one fat, another fit, runs the 100 metre track. Both finishes the run. Now, you as the observer, will be in awe of the fit man, or the fat man? I would be in awe of the fat man because he has to carry his heavy body weight along with his weak stamina, and yet, still able to finish the run when he could've given up midway or could've chosen not to run in the first place. Whereas the fit man can just easily finish the 100 metre track with just little effort. Can you see where I coming from? You'd appreciate the effort of the fat man more than you do for the fit man, no?

So whenever you feel lazy to solat, to read/reflect ayats from the Al-Qur'an, to come to majlis ilmu/ceramah, do know that it is actually a nikmat. BUT! It'll only be a nikmat if you are able to fight your nafsu, able to fight the whispers of syaitan. Only when you submit to their whispers will the feeling lead to the wrath of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. This nafsu that we have in us is created for us to LAWAN and not LAYAN. Bila rasa berat/malas, just do it and fight your nafsu. Allah sudah cakap, just do it no matter if you feel ringan atau berat, just do it. But at the same time, jangan lupa check niat :) Buat kerana Allah :)

Having this thought insya Allah works for me to get moving. Whenever I feel lazy to do anything, I think of it as a nikmat, then suddenly I have a sudden rush of semangat (yang datangnya jua dari Allah), and the feeling of malas just goes away. Insya Allah.

You know, even though syaitan yang bisik arah kitani supaya inda solat atau supaya buat dosa, at the end of the day, kitani jua yang buat dosa atu. Di neraka nanti, kitani akan salahkan syaitan. We will say, "eh pasal syaitan tah ni aku banyak dosa ani!" Then syaitan will respond and say that what they did was only whisper into our hearts. The doer of the sins are still ourselves.

However though, I am NOT saying that Allah will grant us more pahala bila kitani solat di dalam keadaan berat. Hence the ayat I shared earlier, "Berangkatlah kamu baik dalam keadaan merasa ringan atau pun merasa berat..." Allah Maha Mengetahui. The question of pahala ani hanya Allah saja yang tahu. After all kan, kitani bukannya kan mengumpul pahala, tani beribadah adalah semata-mata kerana Allah Ta'ala, semata-semata kerana mencari keredhaan Allah Ta'ala.

Ambil lah ini sebagai motivasi untuk kala masa kita merasa malas ataupun berat...

Wallahu'alam. Semua yang baik datang dari Allah, yang inda baik atu datangnya dari diri yang serba kekurangan ini. Ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh...

Sungguh kerdil

2010-03-13T22:49:00.004+08:00

Diri ini sugguh & sangat-sangah lah kerdil. Diri ini merasakan sangat-sangat tidak layak. Ya Allah, sesungguhnya kekuatan itu hanya lah milik mu, dan hanyalah kehendakmu untuk memberiku, Ya Allah, aku memohon kekuatan daripada mu ya Allah.

:'( La tahzan ya nafsi...

Why do we awe over money and materials?

2010-03-10T09:47:00.008+08:00

Kenapa kitani inda berbangga akan kebesaran Allah? Lets take a shower head as an example. I bet the first time shower heads was used in Brunei yonks ago, semua orang bangga kan shower heads. Bannga kan technology cara mandi baru inda lagi payah begayung. Bangga kan shower headnya ada ia tedapat di rumah.

Allah menurukan hujan inda payah pakai shower head. Inda payah pakai gayung. Kenapa inda bangga dengan kebesaran Allah?

Telephones. Wah... semua orang sakai. With telephones people can connect wherever they are, so they say. Proud, they are.

ALLAH needs no telephone to connect to His servants. Something to be amazed about, no?

These things that we call money, gadgets, materials and other things of its sort, often easily amaze us. Kenapa kitani bangga-bangga kan barang-barang yang temporary? Duit lapas pakai, abis. iPhone bali hari ani, dua-tiga tahun, rusak tia. Kereta lapas abis loan, rusak sana-sini. Why awe over these things?

Take a random person out there and tell him something like… "Kau tau kah kalau belajar in-service, government bagi tani elaun $6000+ sebulan???"

Sekali yang mendangar ani akan balas, "Apeeeehh!! Gila!! Atu banyak!! Waaaah!! Banar deh?? Eh apply in-service ku eh!! Sirius?? Waaaah!!"

Take that very same person and tell him this… “Have you ever wondered of Allah's creation? The sky? The ocean? The volacanoes? Did you know that if you recite Surah Al-Ikhlas 3 times, it’s equivalent to reading the whole content of the Al-Qur’an? Did you know that if we think just for a second about the reality of the ummah, it's like performing 1000 rakaats of solat sunat, perhaps even better? ”

Will the person respond to the teller like how he had responded to the first statement? He probably will respond like this...

“Oh yakah? Ok." Not even the slightest bit of amazement shows.

Learn Islam, fight ignorance!

Pray for your parents

2010-02-22T23:19:00.002+08:00

She was on her death bed, she knew it was coming. The struggle has been going on for a while, but this was it. She was struggling to fight the pain, to try to survive. She couldn't live knowing that she was going to leave her children. She tried to refrain. What was going through her mind was that she couldn't bear the fact that she was leaving her children. She tried her best to survive.

She couldn't. Her children was her drive to survive for the period that she had survived before that. This time around, she just couldn't anymore.

Innalillahi wainna ilaihi roji'un.

"Boleh jadi kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu padahal ia buruk bagi kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah jualah Yang mengetahui (semuanya itu), sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya." Al-Baqarah: 216.

Redha. Aku redha, ya Allah. Today marks the 18th year of the passing of my mom. As sad as I still am, I have faith in Allah. La tahzan, He tells me, don't be sad, He tells me. I have faith in this ayat below. I have faith in Allah.

"Iaitu syurga yang kekal yang mereka akan memasukinya bersama-sama orang-orang yang mengerjakan amal soleh dari ibu bapa mereka dan isteri-isteri mereka serta anak-anak mereka; sedang malaikat-malaikat pula akan masuk kepada mereka dari tiap-tiap pintu; (memberi hormat dengan berkata): “Selamat sejahteralah kamu berpanjangan, disebabkan kesabaran kamu. Maka amatlah baiknya balasan amal kamu di dunia dahulu." Ar-Ra'd: 23-24.

Here Allah has made promise with me. Allah shall unite "orang-orang yang mengerjakan amal soleh" at jannah's door and His malaikats shall welcome them in with uttermost respect for what they have done in dunia. But I am so far away to achieve that place. I am so so far to be worth Allah's promise. But, Insya Allah, I will keep on going, and I won't stop. Ya Allah, kekalkanlah aku di dalam jalan ini, serta suluhkanlah jalan-jalan dihadapakanku.

Friends, pray for your parents in every solat. Hidup kah mati pebaik, durang ada hak untuk kitani doakan. Kalau biskita inda mendoakan indung, walaupun mempunyai hubungan yang baik sama durang, tapi inda mendoakan durang, nescaya you are an ANAK YANG DERHAKA.

Islam blogging

2010-02-17T14:49:00.006+08:00

The lack of update, I apologise for that. Part of the reason why, was that I guess I felt a wee bit pressured from the expectations from the readers of this blog, because I feel incapable of writing about something really good. But then again, I ask myself; what's my niat? I am not expecting people to actually like reading my writings but... to actually gain Allah's mercy being one reason, secondly, to deliver the message of Islam across.

Talking about Islam is easy and hard at the same time. I can just talk about Islam easily and not be bothered if you'll actually read my writings. On the other hand, the hard part is actually getting you to actually read the whole post. Let's face it, how many of you actually click the 'x' button the moment you know the post is going to be about Islam? (How many of you don't even visit this blog anymore since I started to talk about Islam? :p)

I think why people don't like to read Islam-genred blogs are because of these reasons:

1. They're simply not interested.
2. They don't like to be reminded of the sins they've comitted.
3. They probably think that the writer is not qualified to talk about Islam perhaps?

There are probably more reasons why, which you are welcome to add in the comments section. That's the challenge: to actually make people who are not interested to become interested. These are my primary target audiences. Secondary target audiences would be those yang andangnya suka baca blogs Islam.

Although I am not saying that I have succeeded in making this blog interesting or worthwhile to read, but otherwise, I think I've failed miserably (according to my blog stats :p). I can only try and make an effort, hidayah is not for me to give, but only ALLAH is capable of giving us hidayah.

Adakah solat itu perlu?

2010-01-06T23:48:00.003+08:00

Kalau kitani suruh seseorang untuk makan, ia hanya akan makan jika ia merasakan ia perlu makan. Kalau ia rasa ia inda perlu makan, ia inda akan makan. Kalau kitani suruh ia ke jamban, ia inda akan ke jamban melainkan ia sendiri rasa yang ia perlu ke jamban.

Do you get the grip? What I’m trying to say is that; kitani hanya akan melakukan sesuatu perkara atu jika kitani merasakan perkara atu perlu kitani lakukan. Kan? Agree? Or don’t you agree with me? Okay, let’s assume that you’ve agreed with me so I can go on.

Aku kan cakap pasal solat. I bet if I interviewed semua orang di Mall Gadong atu, asking them: “Adakah solat itu perlu?” I guarantee you that all will say yes, solat sangat perlu. “Solat itu perlu”, “Awu, perlu”, “Mestilah!”, “Wajib kali ah!”, etc. Kitani cakap solat atu perlu. Semua akan cakap solat atu perlu. Tapi inda jua solat. (???)

So what’s happening here is that deep within our hearts, kitani masih merasakan solat tidak perlu. No matter how much our mouth says awu perlu, tapi sebenar-benarnya kitani marasakan solat atu tidak perlu. That’s why kitani inda solat. Pasal kalau kitani banar-banar rasa solat atu perlu, kitani akan solat. We WILL solat. Agree? Atau inda agree?

Cuba tanya diri sendiri. Adakah solat itu perlu? You will say yes, solat itu perlu. Tapi adakah kata-kata dimulut kitani setara dengan apa yang kitani lakukan? Sudahkah kitani solat hari ani? Penuh kah solat kitani dalam sehari? Selagi bulan bintang masih bercahaya, selagi hayat masih ada, my dear friends, it’s still not too late to start praying. Agatah. Allah is welcoming you with open arms.

Dosa oh dosa

2009-12-11T02:10:00.007+08:00

Banyak-banyak dosa, ada dosa yang diredhai manusia, ada dosa yang tidak diredhai manusia. Tapi ingatlah, INDA ADA dosa yang diredhai Allah. Kita mencari keredhaan manusia kah mencari keredhaan Allah? Kalau kita mencari keredhaan manusia instead of Allah's, kita ni orang yang buduh. Inda berakal. Macam binatang.

Back to dosa-dosa ni kan, memang ada dosa yang kita "don't mind" orang lain tau. For example, for the ladies yang inda pakai tudung, they clearly don't mind people knowing durang buat dosa tu, pasal durang go out in public cematu. Dosa-dosa cemani ani kana anggap dosa ringan, dosa yang boleh diterima masyarakat, dosa yang kononnya tidak perlu dimalukan.

Atu satu.

Bagi dosa-dosa yang kononnya bakal menjatuhkan air muka jika diketahui orang lain; kita buat jua; kita jaga supaya orang lain inda tau. Pasal apa? Pasal malu. M-A-L-U. Malu kepada orang lain, tetapi kenapa inda malu kepada Allah? Padahal Allah maha melihat, maha mendengar, maha mengetahui segala sesuatu! Patutnya kita lebih malu terhadap ALLAH!! Lebih malu terhadap Allah yang sentiasa melihat setiap gerak geri kita!! Allah yang sentiasa mendengar suara hari kita!! Kenapa masih jua inda rasa malu terhadap Allah?? Masih jua lebih malu kepada manusia??

Manusia kah yang akan menetapkan masuknya kita ke syurga atau neraka? Manusia kah yang dapat mengahapuskan dosa kita?

Back to dosa-dosa yang kononnya diterima masyarakat ni, ok I give example dulu:

1. Inda pakai tudung; atau pakai tudung tapi masih pakai baju ketat.
2. Pakai seluar pendek time main bola (for boys, apatah lagi for bini-bini).
3. Pergaulan bebas antara lelaki & perempuan.
4. COUPLING; pigang tangan (apatah lagi zina).
5. "Cuci mata".
6. Even meninggalkan solat!!
7. ...dan banyak lagi.

Sekarang terlampau ramai yang membuat perkara-perkata di atas, sehingga ia kelihatan normal, sehingga dianggap "not that sinful". Istighfar! Istighfar! Sampai kadang-kadang perkara-perkara cemani ani dianggap "cool" tia pulang. Siapa yang inda buat, kana panggil "kuno".

Kuno = jahil.

Inda tutup aurat = zaman batu = zaman jahil = kuno.

Pergaulan/seks bebas = zaman batu = zaman jahil = kuno.

SIAPA YANG KUNO??? AKU KAH KAU???

Brunei negara zikir

2009-11-23T09:17:00.004+08:00

Brunei ni negara zikir? As much as I would like to disagree with this, I think Brunei is, as a matter of fact, sebuah negara zikir. Don’t you think? Sila bayangkan situasi-situasi yang akan saya ceritakan.

Dua adi-beradi ni kan makan luar pada satu malam, durang ni tais liur makan Ayamku. Tapi hujan wah di luar ah, labat lagi tu. “Eh masak maggi saja lah ah?” nya si Kaka. Masak punya masak, siap, makan. Masa makan tu durang ni cerita-cerita, sekali inda semana-mana durang ni dikajuti oleh bunyi guruh. “SUBHAAAAANALLLAH!!! SUBHAAAAANALLAH!!!” Abis sampai belumpatan naik atas kerusi sorang-sorang.

Ada majikan ni wah ia mengamanahkan pembantu rumahnya untuk menyediakan VEGETABLE untuk dimasaknya. “Yes, mam”, jawab si pembantu nya ani. Si majikan pun bejalan sekajap, ada hal sedikit. Sekembalinya si majikan ke rumah untuk memasak, tekajut ia wah meliat si pembantu mengeluarkan segala meja portable dari stor, “nyangku VEGETABLE bukan TABLE!” jerit si majikan sekaligus mengucapkan “ASTAGHFIRALLAHALAZIM!!! YA RABBIII!!!”

Seorang bapa ni akhir balik dari keraja. Pukul 9 malam wah sudah, baru ia balik keraja. Sudah sampai di rumah, liatnya anaknya melangoi TV; masih lagi memakai uniform sekolah. Marah ia, “YA ALLAH!!! Balum mandi??? SUBAHAAAANNN!!”

Sah. Memang negara zikir. Kompom!!! (Kalau kamu inda paham, aku sarcastic pulang tu. Huhuhuhu)

Kebanyakkan diantara kitani menyebut kalimah-kalimah suci tu sebagai expression wah. Cuma sebagai a response to something. Sepatutnya bila kitani membuahkan kalimah-kalimah suci semua atu dari mulut kitani, sepatutnya we mean it berabis, dari hati.

But then again. How would you define negara zikir? One would define zikir ani bertasbih, bertasbih, bertasbih. Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. But it is more than just that. ZIKIR itself means MENGINGATI ALLAH. Negara zikir simply means, negara yang sentiasa mengingati Allah.

Kalau kitani menjadi seorang individu yang sentiasa mengingati Allah in everything we do, then we are individu zikrullah. Inda semestinya individu zikrullah atu ialah seorang yang meluangkan masanya berjam-jam bertasbih (although lagi bagus kalau buat jua). Cubatah, seseorang tu pada malamnya manghabiskan masanya bertasbih, tapi masa siang hari melakukan segala kemungkaran seperti pergaulan bebas sama bini-bini, mengumpat, etc. Atu bukan individu zikrullah. Individu zikrullah 24 jam mengingati Allah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah kita boleh beriman, bertaqwa.

Sultan kita sengaja isytiharkan negara ni negara zikir, supaya kitani live up to that claim! Bukan supaya kitani dapat berbangga atau bersikap complacent dengan diri sendiri dan mengatakan, "Kami negara zikir kali ah!"

Hati kita macam sponge

2009-11-09T22:22:00.020+08:00

It has been narrated by Nu’man bin Basyir that Rasulullah once said, "Sesungguhnya di dalam jasad manusia itu ada seketul darah. Apabila ia baik, maka akan baiklah seluruh jasad. Apabila ianya rosak, maka akan rosaklah seluruh jasad. Ketahuilah... ia adalah HATI."

Tepuk dada, tanya hati. Bersih kah hati kita? Kotor kah? Sadang-sadang? Ever heard about the fact that every time we sin, satu noda hitam akan dititikkan pada hati kita. That's one sin, cemana tah keadaan hati kita masa ni? Yang bukan hanya pernah melakukan satu dosa, yang SENTIASA melakukan dosa? Kalau lah hati ni dapat dilihat, gerenti ku sendiri gali meliat, hati ku sendiri. Gerenti hitam punya. Shame.

My dear brothers and sisters, while we realise how dark and filthy our hearts are, are we doing enough things that can cleanse this heart of ours? Kita sendiri yang mengotorkan hati kita; our own actions, our own choices. It's like we're purposely plastering mud all over our hearts. At the same time, cleansing our heart ni pun is still a choice we can make. Why disregard the choice?

Our hearts are like sponges. Kita mesti sentiasa basahkan hati kita. Sponge yang kering tidak akan dapat membersihkan kotoran di piring, unless it's wet. A wet sponge is more likely to cleanse kan? Dengan hati yang basah, insya Allah, dapat membersihkan hati itu sendiri dan jiwa sekaligus. Sponge yang kering tu kan keras. Sponge yang basah tu lembut. Kita mau hati kita keras kah lembut?

Cemana kan basahkan hati! Simple sebenarnya, dekati Allah. Talk to Him and He shall talk to you. Dalam kita solat, kita sebenarnya bercakap dengan Allah. Bila kita baca Al-Qurán, sebenarnya Allah bercakap sama kita. Tapi jangan sekadar baca jawinya, fahamkan maksudnya ;) For which this divine book is the ultimate medicine for a corrupt heart; much like these hearts of ours lah! Allah's firman is more than capable to basahkan hati kita if we let it flow to our hearts, insya Allah.

A beautiful doa untuk hati this is! Kita sering mendoakan si Awang Badan sihat walafiat, kesian si Awang Hati jarang sekali didoakan! Sebagaimana jasad kita mempunyai hak untuk disucikan, hati kita juga ada hak disucikan!

Ya Allah Engkau mengetahui bahawa..
hati-hati ini telah berkumpul kerana mengasihi Mu
Bertemu untuk mematuhi perintah Mu
Bersatu memikul beban dakwah Mu
Hati-hati ini telah mengikat janji setia..
untuk mendaulat dan menyokong syariatMu

Maka eratkan lah ya Allah akan ikatannya
Kekalkan kemesraan antara hati-hati ini
Tunjukkanlah kepada hati-hati ini..
akan jalannya yang sebenar
Penuhkanlah piala hati ini..
dengan limpahan iman, keyakinan dan keindahan tawakkal kepada Mu
Hidup suburkanlah hati-hati ini..
dengan makrifat, pengetahuan sebenar tentangMu

Jika Engkau mentakdirkan mati
Maka matikanlah pemilik hati-hati ini..
sebagai para syuhada' dlm perjuangan agama Mu

Engkau lah sebaik-baik sandaran..
dan sebaik-baik penolong ya Allah
Perkenankanlah permintaan ini
Amin ya rabbal A'alamin..

Sebagaimana jasad kita mempunyai hak untuk disucikan, hati kita juga mempunyai hak untuk disucikan! Set the passage and make way for the hidayah-tsunami to wash out our filthy hearts. Biarin hati loh dibersihin sehingga jernih gitu!

Grant my brothers & sisters water

2009-10-29T11:43:00.001+08:00

Have you read about the news about how our Palestinian brothers and sisters are denied water by the Israelis? It’s really sad. Durang menyambut air hujan pun kana sekat oleh the Israeli army. Air hujan wah! Rainwater! I mean, it’s bad enough durang inda kana bagi air, so durang usaha sendiri, and yet atu pun kana sekat oleh the Israeli army! Don’t you see how durang saja kan menganiaya orang Islam!

Walaupun in fact, collectively, the Palestinians beguna sedikit saja wah air berbanding dengan orang Israel. They just need water to drink, wudhu and for their personal consumption farms; whereas, on the other hand, the Israelis consume water for their garden’s water fountains and swimming pools on top of their daily water needs!! Zalim, ain’t it!! So, being denied water, they have rely on contaminated water!!

Cuba tani pikir. Di Brunei ani sanang-sanang saja kita kan dapat air. Buka paip; ada air. Buka esbok; ada air. Liat tabuk, hujan di luar; ada air. And yet, kitani inda hargai!! Kita bazirkan lagi tu air atu!! I myself kalau berwudhu, I leave the pipe running sampai ku siap. Inbetween aku membersihkan anggota-anggota yang mesti kena air atu, at the same time terbazir jua tu air yang keluar arah pipe atu! Membazir! Siapa membazir kawan syaitan!! Aku ni kawan syaitan tah ni?! Nauzubillah!! Inda ku tais liur!!

Speaking of rain, how many times in our life kitani komplen-komplen kalau hujan! In fact kitani sumpah lagi tu hujan atu! Let’s take a moment untuk istighfar seketika.

(Sudah? Kalau alum, jangan proceed!)

Sedih kan kalau kitani kanang nasib saudara kitani di Palestine atu? Tapi kitani sedih-sedih saja inda jua pedah-pedah! Kitani bersedih disini inda akan membuahkan senyuman di muka bisdorang disana, masih jua durang sengsara. So apatah yang perlu kitani buat? Aku pun inda tau sebenarnya. Tapi yang penting, kitani mesti usaha lah, ikut perjuangkan apa yang durang perjuangkan atu. Kitani mesti satu team wah sama durang. Kan kitani ni orang Islam, kitani satu ugama, satu aqidah; ertinya kitani bersaudara. Mun kan sedih saja, jangan tah, sayang saja air mata.

Yatahkan… inda pedah-pedah kalau kitani sorang saja kan mau tolong saudara kitani disana atu. Mesti satu Brunei ani sepakat mau tolong dorang. Masalahnya inda semua, bahkan sedikit sekali yang aware tentang isu Palestina. We have to change the society.

Tapi cemana kan change the society? Ramai kali ah! Start with yourself. You are a part of your society. You change, a part of your society change! Then, you can help your family and friends change. They’re also part of your society kan? If they change, a bigger part of your society changes! Sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit! Little little long time become hill!

Sigh. Bila kah tu agaknya hari atu akan datang? Memang hari itu tidak akan datang tanpa usaha kita. Lambatnya datang hari itu hanyalah kerana usaha yang lembab. So kalau mau hari atu datang dengan cepat, tingkatkan usaha!!

Syukur atau kufur?

2009-10-26T22:01:00.002+08:00

Malaikat Izrail visits us 70 times a day; which means that we have 70 potential deaths each day! And yet here we are still living. Syukur alhamdulillah! Allahuakbar!

Sometimes we overlook at the things we should be thankful for. Yes, banar, andang banar kitani selalu bersyukur, but often related to money or rezeki. Those, indeed, mesti kitani syukuri; but there are a lot of other things yang patut lagi kitani syukuri. Seperti apa?

Nikmat Allah. Apa kan nikmat Allah ani? Macam-macam! Kitani dapat melihat, nikmat! Kitani dapat mendengar, nikmat! Kitani dapat berjalan, nikmat! Kitani dapat berfikir, nikmat! Semua nikmat! Each day selalu kah kitani ingat akan nikmat Allah? Sebelum kita tidur, ada kah kitani teringat untuk bersyukur akan nikmat-nikmat Allah? (Kitani diberi peluang untuk tidur, merasakan keenakkan katil yang empuk lagi nyaman, masya Allah, nikmat!)

Setiap kali kitani teringat untuk solat, kalau bukan kerana kehendak Allah, kitani tidak akan teringat untuk solat! Allah yang menjadikan kitani ingat untuk solat! Selalu kah kitani bersyukur kerana ingat untuk solat? Jarang sekali

Sama jua kalau ada orang yang memberi kitani peringatan untuk solat, or melarang untuk membuat dosa. Kalau bukan kerana Allah, nada orang yang akan mengingatkan kitani! Nada orang yang akan melarang kitani! BUT BECAUSE OF ALLAH! You see HOW MUCH Allah loves you?

Nasi, ikan, ayam dan sayur yang tersedia diatas piring kitani, kalau bukan kerana Allah, inda ia kan sampai disana. Allah takdirkan jua makanan atu untuk kitani makan! Kalau Allah inda sayang kitani, inda ia kan takdirkan barang-barang baik untuk kitani! Tapi ia bagi jua kitani rezeki! YOU SEE MUCH ALLAH LOVES YOU? But what have we done in return for Him? Do we love Allah the way He loves us?

We humans are like parasites. Yes, indeed, we are.

Cemana kitani kan bersyukur? We often compare ourselves with people who are more successful or richer than us. We should be comparing ourselves with people who are unfortunate than us sebenarnya. Compare the hungry kids in South Africa yang terpaksa minum air kamih kerabau to quench their thirst, and kitani yang diberi peluang untuk menikmati Teh C Special yang sajuk. Our brothers and sisters in Palestine yang sentiasa dibelenggu Yahudi kufar lagi durjana; and kitani di Brunei ani yang selesa serta aman sekali.

From surah Ibrahim, ayat ke-7: [Dan (ingatlah) ketika Tuhan kamu memberitahu: “Demi sesungguhnya! Jika kamu bersyukur nescaya Aku akan TAMBAH nikmatKu kepada kamu, dan demi sesungguhnya, jika kamu kufur ingkar sesungguhnya azabKu amatlah keras”.] From this ayat, we can gather that bersyukur ani satu kewajipan, bukan perkara sunat, bukan perkara harus, tapi W-A-J-I-B, wajib. Pasal kalau kitani inda besyukur, kitani sebenarnya ingkar (kufur nikmat); and if kitani ingkar, azab yang berat menunggu kita!

Bersyukur ani bukan hanya kegiatan lisan, it ain't just reciting alhamdulillah. Sabitkan kalimah syukur atu kedalam hati, dan di dalam setiap tingkah laku. Insya Allah.

It's all about moderation

2009-09-30T23:20:00.003+08:00

I am sure everyone agrees with me that to change to be someone better is a very hard thing to do. Like I once blogged about a few posts ago, a change will not happen in a flash, no it wouldn’t, but it’s more like a journey. Also in an older post, I have mentioned how I said I wanted to tone down my suka-beibun personality, to try to not laugh out loud as much, perhaps be a little more serious and… kawasan-kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya.

Just recently, I have learned a lesson: there’s only so much you can do, but personality is terlampau deep sampai ke tulang wah kalau kan diubah. Harimau inda dapat dipajal jadi kucing, kucing inda dapat dipajal jadi harimau. No matter how much I try to limit myself, sometimes I just cannot control myself. Sometimes I can, other times I just can’t. I may appear reserved to some people, but appear loud to others. Mungkin kemarin aku diam-diam dapan mu, sekali esoknya inda tia. I get it, you’re confused, but hey, so am I. So. Am. I.

So I seek a that kind of support from you. If you see me pulling a serious face, or just smiling instead of laughing out loud to your jokes, or not giving you eye-contact (if you’re a lady) when I talk to you; and then be the total opposite the next time I see you; please have faith and bear with me.

“Jirin, you don’t seem like how you are on your blog and Facebook. You’re NORMAL in person.”

I get that a lot. That’s because on my blog and Facebook, I’m physically talking to no one; which makes it easier to talk about Islam. I can’t just talk about Islam with anyone, although I wish I could, but I can’t. I’m sure you would understand. I see you talking about some rock band on your blog, but I don’t see you talking about them with me. Why? Probably because you know I’m not into those kind of stuff. It’s totally the same situation with me.

Why do I want to talk about Islam? Islam is TOO beautiful. It’s just TOO beautiful wah TOO BEAUTIFUL! TOO BEAUTIFUL TO THE POWER OF INFINITY! I want everyone else to witness its beauty as well. In a beautiful house, if you stay alone, sunyi kan? No matter how amazing the house is, you will feel lonely. Why not invite your family and friends to experience kehebatan rumah atu kan. Kan? Inda ja? *Hears jaaaaaa~~*

I feel like I HAVE TO talk about Islam. I HAVE TO spread the love of Islam. It feels blasphemous if I don’t. For now, my blog and Facebook is my medium to do so, so please have faith and bear with me.

Coming back to the personality bit, while I try to tone done, cukup aribulan, ada jua keluar tu ulah ku. I guess it's not about changing, but it's all about moderation.

Jasad lampoh ruh kurus

2009-08-31T23:20:00.010+08:00

"Hidayah itu ibarat burung yang hinggap di suatu dahan. Jika kita tidak berjinak, atau tidak berhati-hati dengannya, nescaya ia akan terbang meninggkalkan kita."

Susah kitani kan jaga hidayah. Iman atu kadang-kadang naik, kadang-kadang turun, macam Forex. Kadang-kadang melonjak naik, kadang-kadang melonjak turun, kadang-kadang constant. Bila iman atu terasa rendah sekali, ada rasa macam... Is this where I'm going to turn back to jahiliyah?! Nauzubillah. Pada saat-saat almost futur atu tah saat-saat paling sedih sekali, saat-saat kesal. Takut? Tapi kenapa tadi berani berpaling daripada ajaran Allah? Menyasal? Pandai pun menyasal.

You know, kalau kitani berpaling dari ajaran Allah, then Allah will make syaitan sebagai kawan karib kitani. He said so in ayat 36 in Surah Al-Zhukruf. Don't you find that scary? He will make syaitan as our BESTFRIEND if we turn ourselves against his teachings. Definition of bestfriend: "the one friend who is closest to you". So if kitani inda buat apa Allah suruh tani buat, and inda tinggalkan apa Allah suruh kitani tinggalkan, then He shall say kunfayakun and boom! At that very moment, syaitan becomes our bestfriend, the one friend who is CLOSEST to us.

Isn't that just scary? If we obey Allah, then He shall be our company. We disobey, then syaitan will be our company.

Coming back to the bird analogy, so how to make this bird stay? Simple: bagi saja ia makan. Our soul, our ruh, needs food, just like our body. Ruh kitani akan merasa kelaparan kalau kitani inda bagi makan. Segala ibadah atu makanan ruh. Membaca Al-Qurán atu makanan ruh. Pengetahuan islam atu makanan ruh. We have to keep on feeding our ruh. Especially dibulan Ramadhan ani, walaupun kitani berpuasa, ruh kitani jangan dipuasakan. Biar ia sentiasa berbuka. Cukup lah sudah ruh kitani berpuasa selama zaman jahiliyah kitani. Our soul can't stand to fast anymore. Ruh kitani inda tahan lagi kan diet, kesian ia kurus cangkir. Analogy-wise, just keep on feeding the bird, until it's fat, sampai obese kah ia. Biar ia lampoh sampai inda dapat lari terabang pasal kebaratan, macam ayam; inda pandai terabang.

Kalau tadi aku cakap hidayah atu ibarat burung yang hinggap di sesuatu dahan, kalau boleh, hidayah yang telah dikurniakan kepada kitani atu; kitani pelihara seperti kucing yang gemuk (atau terlampau berat) untuk bergerak. Agar bila kaki dihentak di depannya, pun ia masih jua tidak akan lari. Dalam erti kata lain, walaupun jahiliyyah membelenggu, hidayah sentiasa melekat kukuh di hati, insya Allah.

If only my soul is as fat as my body, I'd be so grateful. Hakikat sebenarnya: jasad saja lampoh, tapi ruh kurus karing membari rawan ati. Bila ruh dalam keadaan lapar; kurus karing; dan dahaga; senang saja jahiliyah membelenggu. Kefuturan akan menyerang diri kitani. Bila futur, syaitan akan gembira, because he has just gained himself a new bestfriend.

Semoga kitani semua terdiri daripada golongan yang memelihara kucing-kucing yang gemuk lagi sehat walafiat! Amin~

I am certain!

2009-08-23T22:38:00.007+08:00

I just read the headlines regarding a whipping sentence to a female Malaysian model for drinking beer, and no, that's not the shocking part. The shocking part is this: Malaysian's Ex-PM, Dr. Mahathir, apparently thinks that the punishment is "too harsh". First of all, hukum hudud is hukum Allah. Berani jua ia cakap hukum Allah atu "melampau". How dare he? Mencabar Allah ni anak sorang ani!

This might be "new", but I think it's a good step to deter it's society from committing sins as such. Unfair on that lady? I disagree. It will only do her good, if not in dunia, definitely in akhirat inysa Allah. *Cakap M'sia ku sekajap* Dr. Mahathir, boleh tak awak bace Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216? Ape yang awak rase tak baik tu mungkin baik, dan ape yang awek rase tak baik tu mungkin baik, kan Allah maha mengetahui?

Okay think of it this way. One woman drinks beer and gets whipped. Unfair? What if: one woman drinks beer then drives car then hits another car and kills innocent individual, or family for that matter? Fair? or unfair?

It's like he's saying that drinking beer is a minimal offence. Pikir nya sama macam membuang chewing gum di jalan raya kali! Pikir nya sama macam melapkan tayi idung arah escalator kali! Our world has become so secular that its destroying us without us realising it!

One more thing! There is NO SUCH THING as a moderate muslim individual, or a moderate muslim country for that matter. It's either 100% muslim, or not muslim at all. What is his agenda? I mean, really? If you ask me, I think his agenda is to even more secularise Islam, (macam tah he hasn't done enough) believe it or not, I AM CERTAIN.

Maybe I should just baik sangka. Mungkin ia inda paham saja kali. Allah Maha Mengetahui.

Selamat berpuasa

2009-08-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

Ramadhan is upon us, my dear friends! Alhamdulillah, sekali lagi Allah telah mengurniakan kitani semua kesempatan untuk menikmati bulan penuh rahmat ini. Ingatlah, datangnya Ramadhan pada tahun ini menjadikan bulan-bulan Ramadhan yang akan datang bertambah sedikit. Jadinya manfaatkan Ramadhan ini sepenuhnya seperti ianya tidak akan menjelma lagi! Pasalnya kan... We don't know when our leaf is going to reach the ground; in other words: inda kitani tau bila kitani mati, so this might be our last Ramadhan. So, spend it wisely my dear friends!

Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan 1430! Marbahan ya Ramadhan!

Mow mow mow your lawn

2009-07-29T23:56:00.006+08:00

Assalamuálaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh!

Here’s one situation I want you to reflect upon! Bear with me; this should be interesting to read. I’ll try to make it interesting insya Allah! I realise my previous posts might have been like YAWNSVILLE to most of you, but insya Allah, you won’t yawn while reading this post. Kalau kamu menguap jua masih, baik tah minum kopi! Kelurusan mengantuk tah kamu tu kali. Baik tah tidur dulu sepuluh minit!

Kan rumput rumah kitani sentiasa akan tumbuh dan mungkin menyemaki laman rumah kitani. Setiap bulan jua kitani akan mengupah tukang potong rumput untuk memotong rumput around our house kan?

So here’s the situation; two separate tukang potong rumput comes to your house. Seorang dari Wee Kat Lum Put Sdn Bhd; seorang lagi dari Mower Rangers Sdn Bhd. Si tukang rumput dari Wee Kat Lum Put Sdn Bhd just comes to your house and mows your lawn without your consent. Tarus-tarus wah ia sesuka hati potong rumput rumah mu tanpa izin. On the other hand, si tukang rumput dari Mower Rangers Sdn Bhd politely knocks on your door and asks for your consent dulu sebelum ia start potong rumput your lawn.

In this case, who would you pay? You would end up paying Mower Rangers Sdn Bhd kan? No matter how bisai jua keraja Wee Kat Lum Put Sdn Bhd, you will still be in favour of Mower Rangers Sdn Bhd kan?

Another analogy! Apa bezanya di antara...

1. Orang yang picik your jerawat tarus-tarus while you’re walking around at the mall.

2. Orang yang you personally request and give consent to touch your face and picik your jerawat.

Of course you will be in favour of person number 2 kan? Walaupun person number 1 atu pakai gloves, pakai anti-septic kah ia, ilang tarus jerawat oleh nya kah ia. You will still be in favour of person number 2 right? Because jerawat kitani sedang dipicik dengan keredaan kitani.

Okay hold that thought dulu! Bear with me! Question: kenapa Allah tidak menerima ibadah orang yang inda beriman? Kenapa Allah HANYA menerima ibadah orang yang beriman?

Maksud “beribadah tapi inda beriman & bertaqwa” ani ialah seperti orang yang solat tetapi masih lagi melakukan maksiat, misalnya zina.

No matter how much orang atu beribadah, betasbih sejuta kali kah ia, sembahyang sunat beratus-ratus rakaat kah ia, Allah tidak akan menerima ibadahnya jika ia inda beriman & bertaqwa. Tapi kalau ketani beriman & bertaqwa kepada Allah, walaupun ibadah kitani sedikit, insya Allah akan Allah terima dan insya Allah pahala pun akan dilipat gandakanNya. Amin ya rabbal al-amin!

Tapi jangan pulang kitani give up kalau kitani rasa kitani ani balum lagi beriman. Awda mungkin akan berkata, “Jangan tah ku sembahyang nah! Inda jua kana terima ibadat ku ani!”. Jangan cematu eh. Kitani mesti usaha and practice sampai ketani sampai ke tahap beribadah untuk beriman kepada Allah. Insya Allah dengan doa dan usaha, ibadah kita akan di terima Allah! AMIN!

Semoga kitani di antara golongan Mower Rangers Sdn Bhd atau pemicik jerawat yang terlebih dulu meminta izin kepada tuan empunya muka! Mwahahaha!

Seek for Allah

2009-06-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

Sebagai manusia, memang sudah fitrah yang ketani ani lemah dan mudah lupa. Ada diantara ketani ani, terlampau selesa dengan ilmu pengetahuan yang ketani ada. Ketani lupa yang ketani ani sentiasa dalam keadaan kekurangan. Tentang islam, ketani mungkin akan berkata bahawa ketani tahu atau sudah mengenali Islam. Tetapi, adakah ketani faham, benar-benar faham, tentang agama ketani?

Allah mencintai hamba-hambanya yang sentiasa menuntut ilmu; apa saja jenis ilmu yang mendatangkan kebajikan, biochemistry kah ia, engineering kah ia, architecture kah, sociology kah, apa kah, asal saja bukan ilmu kotor atau ilmu hitam. Memang menuntut ilmu ani satu tuntutan dalam agama ketani. Tetapi, ingatlah wahai anak Adam sekalian, Allah LEBIH mencintai hamba-hambanya yang sentiasa mencari ilmu yang berkait-paut dengan agama nya, iaitu agama Islam ketani. Kalau ketani mencari ilmu tentang Islam, ketani sebenarnya mendekati dan mengenali Allah. Kalau ketani mendekati Allah, insya Allah, ketani akan didekatiNya jua. Hence, kalau ketani menjauhi Allah, nescaya ketani akan dipinggirkanNya sebagaimana ketani telah meminggirkanNya. Nauzhubillah.

Walaupun ramai diantara ketani sudah abis darjah 6 sekolah agama dulu, jangan dititik-noktahkan disana pencarian ilmu Islam. Walaupun kebanyakkan diantara ketani masa ani belajar kursus-kursus ataupun bekerja di dalam jurusan lain, ketani boleh, pada masa yang sama, mencari ilmu Islam secara tidak formal, seperti memahami Tafsiran Al-Qur’an dan Al-Hadith, membaca buku-buku islami, mendengar ceramah-ceramah islami, menghampiri atau berkawan dengan orang-orang yang faham agama, dan sebagainya. Macam-macam caranya. Semua ani boleh ketani usahakan. Apa nya orang, di mana ada kemahuan, di situ ada jalan.

In my honest opinion, I really think it is important for us to make friends with people who we know understand Islam. They may not necessarily be dikalangan ustaz atau ustazah. They can be any of our friends. I am sure ada diantara kawan-kawan ketani, walaupun muda, memahami agama. Kalau inda pun, perhaps kenalan atau friend of a friend.

There are some people who believe that they are better off learning Islam atau beribadat themselves. This, I totally reject. If indeed, kan buat perkara baik-baik atu ketani patut buat bersendiri-sendiri, then Rasulullah SAW, as our leader, would have set that example, he would have stayed in Gua Hira and not deliver Allah’s message to the rest if the ummah. He would have let everyone else find their way to Allah themselves. But, he didn’t. He exited Gua Hira with a mission to deliver Allah’s message to the rest of the ummah. Nabi Muhammad SAW is our leader, he is the best examplar and we should follow his footsteps.

If you hadn’t realised, ada banyak hadith Rasulullah SAW yang mempunyai content yang similar tapi di riwayatkan oleh sahabat baginda yang berlainan. This is a proof that Nabi Muhammad SAW was often surrounded by his sahabats. Again, this just supports the need of the ummah to unite together.

Cuba renung seketika. Dalam Al-Qur’an, apabila Allah menyeru manusia, Allah sering mengatakan ‘Wahai ORANG-ORANG beriman...’, tidak pula Dia mengatakan ‘Wahai ORANG beriman’. This is a clear evident that Islam ani bukan untuk ketani secara individu sahaja, tetapi untuk seluruh umatnya.

Macam main bola wah, inda jua siuk kalau ketani main sorang-sorang. Lagi siuk kalau ketani ada team kan. Sama jua dalam context mendekati Allah ani, lagi siuk kalau ketani ada kawan-kawan yang mempunyai agenda yang sama. It will be much more effective. Aku buat salah, kawan ku tagur aku. Kawan ku salah, aku tagur ia. Kalau ketani sendiri-sendiri, then ketani buat salah, siapa tah kan menagur ketani? Kan?

Surah At-Taubah, Ayat ke 71: "Dan orang-orang yang beriman, lelaki dan perempuan, SEBAHAGIAN MEREKA (ADALAH) MENJADI PENOLONG SEBAHAGIAN YANG LAIN. Mereka menyuruh (mengerjakan) yang ma’ruf, mencegah dari yang mungkar, mendirikan solat, menunaikan zakat dan mereka taat kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Mereka itu akan diberi rahmat oleh Allah; sesungguhnya Allah Maha Perkasa lagi Maha Bijaksana".

Ada satu Al-Hadith atu, kira-kira bermaksud along the lines of: Kalau ketani kan bekawan ani, ada dua jenis kawan. Kalau ketani bekawan sama petukang minyak wangi, kalau inda pun ia membari ketani minyak wangi, at least ketani dapat mencium bau wangi nya atu. Kalau ketani bekawan sama petukang besi, kalau inda pun ketani terkena percikan api, we are more likely to ampit bau busuk si petukang besi atu. In other words, if you befriend good people, you are most likely to be influenced to be good. If you befriend bad people, you are most likely to be influenced to be bad. So, take your pick. Hehe. At the same time, do not leave your friends yang so-called 'bad' jua. Now, they've become your responsibilty to influence them to be good.

Ok, I don't think I have anything else to add. If you have anything else to add, by all means, sambung saja post ani dalam section comments :)

Jangan suka ketawa

2009-06-01T09:39:00.007+08:00

Memang inda dapat dinafikan, dan kamu semua pun tahu, aku ani andang jenis yang yang suka banar kan beibun. Beibun, beibun, beibun. Iatah ganya keraja ku kalau aku bejumpa dengan kawan-kawan ku. Ada pepatah inggeris yang mengatakan, bila di translate, kira-kira berbunyi: satu hari tanpa ketawa ialah satu hari yang terbuang.

Walaupun aku kaki beibun, aku tau statement atu inda lurus. Aku sebenarnya tau banyak ketawa ani andang inda bagus. Aku tau. Tau ku, setan suka kalau manusia beibun saja kerajanya. Tapi kenapa aku masih jua suka beibun?

Around a year ago, aku ada kemahuan untuk tone down sedikit. I tried, and I tried, but I keep on failing. In fact, aku rasa macam aku lebih teruk lagi. Antah, inda ku tau mengapa.

Kadang-kadang aku pikir, what is it that I’m trying to achieve by joking around saja keraja ku ani. Adakah aku mau orang disekeliling ku menyukai aku? Or do I want that satisfaction that I get when I make people happy? Whatever it was, it is clear that my goal in life was, in fact, FAULTY. I was probably so obsessed in making people to be fond of me, when in fact, sebenarnya aku secara tidak langsung lupa yang aku INDA melakukan apa-apa untuk membuatkan penciptaku, Allah 'Azzawajalla, untuk mencintaiku. I didn’t do anything to impress my creator, but INSTEAD aku cuba membuatkan manusia disekeliling ku suka kepada ku. I chose to please people around me instead of pleasing my Lord.

Sekarang, aku Insya Allah sedikit sebanyak menyedari apa yang salah dan apa yang lurus (macam baru baligh rasaku eh), kalau boleh aku inda mau lagi kan beibun. Bila ku sorang-sorang, memang ku bepikiran cematu. Tapi bila ku ditemukan sama kawan atau orang-orang yang sekepala sama aku, sikap ku yang suka beibun atu datang tia lagi sekali. Kadang-kadang inda sadar. Sekali sudah balik rumah, barutah kan istighfar. Baru tah sadar yang aku telah menhambakan diriku kepada syaitan yang mungkin telah menghasutku untuk beibun. Lamah aku atu, secara inda sedar, aku telah tunduk kepada hasutan syaitan.

Banyak ketawa boleh mematikan hati. Kalau hati ketani mati, hati ketani menjadi gelap. Dengan hati yang gelap, ketani inda akan mudah menerima hidayah Allah. Nauzubillah. Aku takut, takut ku aku berpaling semula ke jalan yang salah.

Nabi Muhammad SAW inda pernah ketawa, kalau baginda mendengar sesuatu yang lucu pun, paling-paling pun, baginda hanya akan tersenyum. This is the one attribute I’d like to mimic at the moment. Tapi payah. Tapi mungkin perlahan-perlahan, insya Allah. Tapi, ada suara di dalam hati ku mengatakan: “Jirin, kalau kau tone down, karang orang cakap kau boring”. Aku inda kira kalau kamu cakap aku boring, yang penting, Allah inda akan boring sama aku.

A friend’s personal message on my MSN reads out “Life in this world is nothing but a deceiving enjoyment 57:20” Sila renungkan.

Beibun, becali, becanda, ketawa, inda salah tapi mesti besederhana. Jangan saja nya orang ketawa sampai terburai segala isi parut, sudah, khalas! Kalau kamu mau tau lagi dengan lebih detail, kamu research sendiri. Ada limitations nya. Tapi pokoknya, aku mau pipe down, end of story. Reflect upon sabda Nabi Muhammad SAW yang sebuting ani: “Sebaik-baik urusan biarlah besederhana.”

Allahu'alam.

Dream worth dreaming

2009-05-25T11:43:00.005+08:00

Last night, I dreamt of not going to work on a Monday. It was awesome. Epic. I woke up with tears of joy running down my cheeks, both my palms placed on my heart.

Hijrah

2009-05-17T23:41:00.009+08:00

Before understanding what the word 'hijrah' actually means, two things come to mind when someone mentions the word, one, Nabi Muhammad's migration from Makkah to Yathrib (Medinah), and two, the Islamic calendar system.

The word hijrah is not just limited to that definition which concerns migration to a new place, or just that word we put next to the Islamic year in writing. It is also defined as the change in one's current state to a better one. By 'state', I don't mean state as in Sarawak or Shanghai, I mean state as in attitude, character, or frame of mind. Secara straightforward, hijrah is like leaving all acts of sin and performing all acts claimed by Allah. Dengan meninggalkan segala dosa dan melakukan semua perkara yang Allah suruh, ketani telah berhijrah dari menjadi individu yang kurang baik / lemah / jahil untuk menjadi individu yang lebih baik / kuat / beriman / bertaqwa.

Apakah ketani inda mau yang terbaik bagi diri ketani sendiri? We ALWAYS have that option to hijrah or not to hijrah. Petunjuk atu kadang-kadang nya sedia ada, there are so many things in our daily life that can remind us of Allah, tetapi it is up to you absorb petunjuk atu ke dalam fikiran dan hati ketani. Sekiranya ketani ignore, sentiasa tia ketani dalam keadaan rugi.

Berniat kan berubah saja inda memadai, ketani mesti usaha jua. Well, bagus pulang tu ada niat sudah. After all that's how it starts, dari niat ketani. Tapi tanpa usaha, inda ketani kan begarak. Allah inda kan mengubah diri ketani kalau ketani sendiri inda berusaha mengubah diri ketani sendiri (reflect 8:53). He won't help us if we don't help ourselves. If we don't help ourselves, why should He? Sama jua dengan petunjuk atau hidayah, Allah inda kan membagi ketani pentunjuk kepada ketani UNLESS ketani sendiri mahu diberi petunjuk di lubuk hati ketani. Only Allah knows the contents of our heart. We may claim that we know how we feel. We may claim that we do want to change. But Allah knows what's hidden deep in our hearts, our innermost intentions (reflect 28:56).

Hijrah is a journey. It doesn't just happen as you click your fingers. Hijrah is a process, along which you will face challenges which will either make you turn back, or otherwise. If you turn back, you are weak. Allah sengaja bagi ketani these challenges, untuk menguatkan ketani. Allah is our creator, of course he knows what we're capable and incapable of. Sekiranya tah ketani inda mampu, Allah inda kan membagi ketani ujian atu. In other words, Allah knows ketani gerenti pass wah tu. Tapi, jangan lapas tangan cematu saja, usaha atu penting. Oh, sabar is another thing. Ketani mesti sabar (reflect 2:155) and NEVER EVER putus asa kepada Allah (reflect 39:53).

Ketani semua wajib berhijrah. Kalau ketani berfikiran: eh esok tah ku hijrah; lusa tah ku mula hijrah; 1 Januari 2020 tah ku hijrah; I'll hijrah when I'm old and grey; time ku tua. Masalahnya, benyawa ketani masih esok lusa? Jangan tah tahun 2020, esok pagi gerenti kah ketani hidup masih? Hijrah masa tua? Ada confirmation kah ketani sampat tua? We don't know. This whole hijrah thing, it's like dieting. A diet should never start tomorrow, it should start at this very moment.

"Insya Allah aku hijrah bila hati ku terbuka" - masalahnya, kalau inda tebuka? Cemana? Dengan itu, berusahalah untuk membuka nya. If you just stare at a door, it won't open by itself. First you have to come to the door. Then, you need to turn the door knob and push the door in order to open it. Kadang-kadang pintu atu berkunci lagi tu. So, find the key lah. Just waiting for the key to come won't help us. Now, once the door is open, don't just stand there, ENTER it. Enter it whole-heartedly. Surah Al-Baqarah Ayat ke 208:

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Masuklah ke dalam Islam secara KESELURUHAN, dan janganlah kamu ikuti langkah-langkah syaitan. Sungguh, ia musuh yang nyata bagimu."

Semoga ketani semua diantara golongan yang berhijrah. Lets all leave our jahil selves, and together we devote ourselves to Allah The Almighty. Amin.

Islam kan ketani ani?

2009-04-26T20:54:00.009+08:00

Assalamuálaikum.

Ketani sebagai umat Islam, sorang-sorang tau apa isi Rukun Iman. Rukun Iman yang ke tiga reads out "percaya kepada kitab-kitab Allah". Sure, you can say you believe the Al-Qur'an. But do you really? Dengan mengatakan percaya, ketani jua mengatakan bahawa ketani percaya kepada setiap kata-kata Allah SWT dalam Al-Qur'an. With that said, you have also made a promise that you will obey all words of Allah within the kitab. So if you disobey His words, can you still say that you PERCAYA?

Islam is not just about reciting the Syahadah. It's not just praying five times a day. Not just about membayar zakat. Bukan sekadar puasa semasa bulan Ramadhan saja. Bukan setakat menunaikan Haji di Mekah. Yes, secara ASAS it probably is, but Allah ada berfirman di dalam Surah Ali-Imran ayat ke 110, yang kira-kira bermaksud:

"Umat Islam adalah umat yang terbaik dilahirkan buat manusia, kerana kamu menyeru kepada perbuatan makruf, dan mencegah dari yang mungkar, dan beriman kepada Allah. Sekiranya Ahli Kitab beriman, tentulah itu lebih baik bagi mereka. Di antara mereka, ada yang beriman, namun kebanyakkan mereka adalah orang yang fasik."

If you analyse that ayat quoted above, Allah has clearly said that ketani orang Islam ani is the best among the human race he has ever created. Because ketani menyeru kepada perbuatan yang ditagih oleh Allah, mencegah dari perbuatan yang ditegah oleh Allah, dan ketani beriman kepada Allah. Tapi kalau ketani inda buat cematu? Cemana? Inda tah Allah recognise ketani sebagai umat yang terbaik (orang Islam) tu? Wallahu'alam. Allah has clearly given us a guideline untuk menjadi umat yang terbaik:

Promote good deeds amongst ourselves.
Prevent bad deeds amongst ourselves.
Beriman kepada Allah.

Kenapa ketani mau jadi umat yang terbaik, you may ask yourself. Mengapa? Inda cukup kah kalau aku jadi umat yang sadang-sadang saja? Inda cukup kah kalau aku buat perkara-perkara dalam rukun Islam yang lima atu? You can, tapi atu lah umat Islam yang 'siuk sendiri' namanya. Ia tah ganya seorang kan beriman kepada Allah. Tapi inda ia mengajak orang disekelilingnya beriman. Inda ia melarang orang membuat dusa yang tarang-tarang dapan mata. Karit tu orang cematu atu namanya. That's usually the case here in Brunei, most of us have that "Aku, aku. Kau, kau." concept of thinking.

Di Brunei ani, we all have the mind set yang ketani ani sudah sebuah negeri Islam. We are too comfortable with the state of our country. Negara Brunei Darussalam ialah sebuah negara Islam. Tapi nya Islam banar kah ketani ani? Jadinya negara ketani ani negara Islam, automatically tah ketani ani Islam, so inda payah tah ketani beriman kepada Allah? Cukup kah sekadar arah IC ketani tertulis bahawa ketani bergama Islam?

Think, and reflect. Sila fikirkan dan renungkan. This entry is all over the place, but I hope you get the message I'm trying to convey. Semoga bermanfaat =)

Sacrifice

2009-04-07T23:18:00.014+08:00

Sometimes ketani terpaksa sacrifice sesuatu, walaupun ketani inda sampai hati kan sacrifice, tapi kadang-kadang, mesti jua ketani sacrifice. Ketani tah inda kan suka apa ketani buat atu, tapi barangkali apa yang ketani buat atu boleh jadi kebaikan untuk ketani. Inda tah ketani tau apa kebaikannya barang atu untuk ketani, tapi Tuhan maha mengetahui.

(Based on Al-Baqarah Ayat 216)

Macam ubat. Andang pahit, inda ketani suka. Baik kah inda baik kah ubat atu untuk ketani, Tuhan saja yang tau. Dengan kuasanya ia baik, dengan kuasanya jua ubat atu inda baik arah ketani.

I hope orang yang aku mau paham, paham what I'm trying to do.

Salam.

Useless TV

2009-04-04T21:35:00.006+08:00

I hate it when they display TV sets in waiting areas without the volume on. Like, it just beats the purpose of the TV being put there. Kirakan, the main purpose of the TV being put in the waiting lounge is for people to not get cranky while waiting kan? So that we don't get all bored. But, if the volume is muted, inda tia pedah-pedah. Nahe. La.

Like the other day, I was waiting for my parents to keluar from the arrival hall. So I waited lah arah kerusi atu. They displayed a few TV sets and American Idol was showing. Tapi nada volume. It's American Idol! Mesti jua ku mendangar suaranya tu? See, if you show American Idol without the sound, it's no longer American Idol, Babau Idol barangkali!

Same thing happened today, I was at the post office. I had to send some documents overseas. I took my number and patiently waited for my number to be called. Yes, again, there was a TV. Tapi no sound jua. A ceramah was showing. Tapi antah, once again, ceramah babau kali!

I know you must be thinking: "Eh ani pun si Jirin kan mentalkan kah?" Inda pulang, tapi annoying wah, and I shit you not, I get annoyed really really easily. Like the other day, aku ani kan barus gigi wah (I know sudah pulang ku ceritakan ni arah Facebook), sekali ubat gigi ku ani macam tinggal sikit. Berabis-rabisan ku picik sampai keluar jua Colgate atu kirakan cukup-cukup untuk sekali barus gigi lah. Sekali apa nah, tegugur tia wah the toothpaste ah out of my toothbrush. Frust gila ku, I shit you not. Apa lagi, tarus ku talangkan wah barus gigi ah. Mental ku yo!

Awu, sekadar pulang ni, like hal-hal damit pun kan ku mentalkan. It's the build-up, trust me. Kes melapaskan garam wah tu banarnya. These are the only things I allow myself to be mental about, when in fact, in my mind, I'm actually mental about things that I can't publicly rant about. You understand? Anda faham? Entiende?

Okay aku mengantuk sudah. Salam!

I am Awu-man

2009-03-23T21:01:00.000+08:00

I keep on saying this every time I update this blog: "it's been a while since I have updated." I think I lost the will to blog, macam it's not my subject of prior anymore. Dulu, honestly, aku obsess ni kan blog-memblog ani; apa saja yang ku pikirkan, iatah jua ku simpan dalam blog. Aku teliat kucing "becinta" di jalan raya pun kan ku ceritakan.

Now, antah. Penyakit "M'' kali bah. Penyakit ''M'' wah, penyakit malas. Kadang-kadang I feel like quitting jua. But I think I'd still like to blog from time to time, sekali-sekala. So I guess I'll just leave it and I'd update whenever I feel like it kali, Insya Allah.

Pasal keraja. Hmmm... I want to be able to come home to rest, you know? Not do more work. Having too much work can make you forget that you actually have a life. You tend to ignore or sacrifice the other definitions of life, like tranquility, sleep, joy, all those sort of stuff. I swear, esok lusa, inda lagi batah jadi robot wah ni aku ani. But I reckon it's just my lack of time management skills.

All is well though. I attended a health lecture at school last week, it was about stress management. Did you know that in Japan, in most big companies, they have allocated a "Stress Control Room" for their employees? What's in this Stress Control Room you may ask? They have a dummy of which the employees like to think as their supervisor. Kirakan, siapa stress arah supevisor/boss, masuk saja the Stress Control Room, kerajakan tia dummy atu and imagine macam banar.

I'm not sure to which extent the truth of this though. Cubatah ada di Brunei cematu ah? Dapat jua ku imagine it to be student yang inda mengantar keraja atau student yang kurang ajar arah ku. It could be called Bilik Kawalan Tekanan or something like that. Cuba saja sekali simpan dalam ofis ku, I assure you ancur tu oleh ku. Ge. Ren. Ti.

Tapi banar lah membari stress jua keraja ani kadang-kadang. Like last time kan, sudah di rumah baru ku sadar wah ada dakwat pen arah muka ku masa ku liat dalam ceramin time barus gigi. Macam, stress banar jua sudah tu? Sampai muka pun tertulis ani wah, inda lagi sadar tu. Jadinya masa aku mengajar, nampak tah students ku tu? Abis, gerenti kana ketawakan sudah ku keluar class. Ge. Ren. Ti.

Nanti lah lagi ku cerita-cerita.

Assalamu'alaikum.

Kasut schmasut

2009-02-28T21:20:00.001+08:00

Kamu tau apa. Aku baru sadar aku batah sudah inda mental dalam blog ku ani. I think work has made me a calmer person. Err tia karang. That's a lie right there. Work hasn't made me a calmer person, it has made me angrier person. I come home with an angry face. I come home kicking my door open. I come home screaming at mosquitoes and lizards. I come home tearing old shirts for no apparent reason. I come home punching the switch button of my lamp on.

I'm not serious, of course. In spite of work, I am actually very okay. Honestly, as of late, work has been fun. Here goes a rant.

I find shoe shops annoying. Bruneian shoe shops for that matter. Do believe me, none, and I say NONE, of the shops here in Brunei sell smart shoes above the size of 10. My current work shoes is very membari rawan hati kalau kamu liat. Ngingis sana sini, seeing it makes me cry.

I found a pair of shoes the other day which was a size 11. It was okay. It was a bit tight pulang. But kan I gotta make do with what I've got. The brand name of my shoes go by an unfortunate name of 'Simeilu'. I was so happy that I finally found shoes that can finally fit my feet, despite its unflattering name.

Laters.

On lookalikes

2009-02-15T17:35:00.007+08:00

So MANY people have been telling me that they have seen someone who looks like me. One of my students told me she has a friend who looks like me. My uncle saw someone at the mall who looked like me, he even called him out because he thought it was me. My cousins who go to Sharif Ali Secondary School told me there's a teacher there who looks like me. An Indonesian receptionist at Empire once told me his brother in Indonesia looks like me. Just the other day someone asked me if I was some Awangku Saiful's brother because apparently that Awangku Saiful looks like me. I don't even know an Awangku Saiful.

(Common sangat kali muka ku ani. Haha! Oh well, at least I have a unique name. I mean, I think there's only one Jirin in every 1 trillion people barangkali. What's the world population anyway?)

Maybe I was part of an octuplet and my parents gave out the other seven? Banyak possibilities nya ni. Atau antu kali wah yang durang liat macam aku atu. Antah ah, Tuhan ganya yang tau.

Speaking of lookalikes, there is someone in Indonesia who resembles the U.S. President, Barrack Obama. Observe the picture below.

I remember my uncle used to have an Indonesian maid who looked like a certiain Malaysian lame-ass comedian. Maybe, just maybe, everyone in this world has at least one of their lookalikes in Indonesia. I know I have one according to that Indonesian receptionist at Empire. Each country has their own unique slogans kan? Brunei: Abode of Peace, Malaysia: Truly Asia. Indonesia: City of Lookalikes. I can already hear the jingle in my head!

So if you got dumped by your boyfriend/girlfriend, don't worry. Know that you'll always have a spare one in Indonesia. No wonder their tourism industry is always booming. Not only do they have Bali, they have our lookalikes.

If you meet a Katy Perry, Jessica Alba, Megan Fox or Miss Japan-Universe 2006 lookalike, by all means, please deliver to my door step as soon as possible, thank you. I'll be ready with my white cara melayu, I promise.

Dear God, I hope all of those Jirin lookalikes are also fat, or fatter than me. Haha. Karang lari bini ku for the much skinnier one. I wonder if lookalikes share the same or maybe similar personalities? Perhaps not, because I have a friend who looks like Michael Jackson but isn't a pedophile. (At least, I don't think he's a pedophile, I hope he's not a pedophile!)

(I hate it when people ask me if I have plans for valentines. For one thing, I don't celebrate valentine's. Secondly, I am single wah baie eh. Inda payah tanya wah! Haha, mental~)

Nice tie kah nice Thai?

2009-02-06T14:12:00.000+08:00

Up till today, I have just realised that I have this one colleague of mine who always and I emphasis on ALWAYS, compliments my neck tie. This guy compliments my neck tie everyday, I tell you, every single day. Well, probably not everyday, but almost everyday, banar. So this guy is like complimenting my neck tie everyday kan, I'm starting to think that banarnya he does not truly like my neck ties. I think he just doesn't know what to say to me whenever we pass by each other. So, it's like, shit, it's Khairul. Uhhhh, nice neck tie, Khairul.

I swear, tomorrow I am going to wear neck tie yang lama and bubus and kamah and bida. Kalau ia cakap nice neck tie lagi sekali wah... antah, inda pulang ku buat apa-apa kali, but saja, just to see if banar kah inda ia suka neck ties ku.

If nada kan dicakapkannya pun cubatah tukar script. He can compliment my tie today, compliment my shirt tomorrow. Say nice nose kah, nice pants kah, nice shoes kah, nice teeth kah, apakah, whatever. Ani nice tie tiap-tiap hari. Seriously, I can almost lip-synch to his words setiap pagi, "Nice neck tie, Khairul!"

Maybe, jusy MAYBE, he's telling me there's a NICE THAI just around the corner, and selama ani aku saja yang perasan ia cakap TIE ku lawa. Possible jua ah. Padantah tiap-tiap ia cakap, pasal aku inda pandai paham-paham and look at this nice Thai he's been talking about.

Begaru is burger paling nyaman

2009-01-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

So I bought one of those 'healthy' burgers after work to eat for dinner at home. Sekali, guess what, it was 9PM when I remembered that I bought something to eat for dinner. I can not believe, I repeat, I CAN NOT BELIEVE, I've forgotten about the burger. For four hours, it was left uneaten. FOUR WHOLE HOURS, can you believe that? I am shocked to the core.

So there I was, in my room, dapan laptop, thinking: "Eh, aku lapar. Homaigat! Aku ada bali burger tadi!" Tarus ku rush out of my room, and looked for my abandoned healthy burger. It probably cried all its fat out, kesian, poor thing.

By the time I found it, it was already cold and pale. Kalau nya orang tua, ilang seri nya. Masa ku jumpa burger atu, it was like a scene in a movie where two lovers baru bejumpa after a long time. Emotional. I had to eat it straight away, I didn't want to dissapoint, I couldn't. Tarus ku rush to the kitchen to heat it pakai microwave.

Okay this is the part, which is quite embarassing to tell.

So aku masuk dapur, put the burger on a microwave-safe plate, and without realising, instead of masukkan dalam microwave, ku simpan dalam esbok. Ku tutup esbok, menunggu tia ku dakat esbok ah, menunggu burger atu panas. I even had time to sing half a song until I realised, eh? SALAHHHHHHH MASUKKAN!

(To my defense, the microwave is right next to the fridge kali ah...)

After sadar, bukan tepulang makin panas, makin sajuk tepulang burger ku ani. So, tarus ku masukkan ke dalam microwave, set 2 minutes to heat.

I leaned on the kitchen counter to wait for the burger to heat up, and sambung lagu tadi. Lagu Aerosmith, lagu jiwang tia lagi. *I could stay awake... just to see you heaaaatinggg~~ watch you smile while you are heating~~*

Okay, atu lame. Lameburger tah banar.

Anyways, Alhamdulillah, I am now no longer hungry. Speaking of which, so much for the name of that 'healthy' burger. It had an excessive amount of mayo. Mayo isn't healthy. I think what they're really going for is that, the burger itself yang healthy, but not that healthy to eat. Because if it is in fact healthy to eat, then it should be called 'Healthy-To-Eat Burger'.

Macam Diet Coke. Actually, the Coke itself yang dieting. Trust me, if you consume diet coke, you are so not dieting. They're clever that way, very clever how those Coke people can fool you by thinking Diet Coke is healthy for you to consume. It should be called Dieting Coke instead. Cuba liat botol nya, sexy kali ah, ada shape.

This post is all over the place. I'm going to stop. Assalamu'alaikum.

People Of Gaza

2009-01-12T10:47:00.007+08:00

Please make your sincerest contribution to the People of Gaza. Click the link below.

>> http://www.justgiving.com/peopleofgaza <<

On sleep and other things

2008-12-13T10:35:00.017+08:00

I sleep really early nowadays. For the past 2-3 weeks or so, I have been sleeping at around 8 or 9. Siapa cakap keraja ani inda mengalih? MENGALIH KALI AH. Office ku lagi tingkat 4. Old school lagi building ku pakai tangga. Bagus pulang tu naik tangga, and you would think that it would be membari kurus. You're wrong. Ku liat nada pun kurang kurang nya. Makin ada pulang. And especially now that I wear a button-up shirt and a tie to work, I look like as if I don't have a neck, and I'm serious.

So last night I dreamt of Katy Perry. She was like, hey I kissed a girl and I liked it. Apakan! Anyway, aku mimpi ia kawin sama aku wah. Sekali aku hairan wah, macam eh boleh kan ia kawin sama aku. Sekali ia cakap ia masuk Islam sudah. Woohoo, aku terima nikahnya Katy Perry Abdullah dengan mas kahwin $500 tunai. Sah? Sahhh!

Paloi ni kadang-kadang mimpi ani. Macam banar wah iatah sudah bangun membari sasak. Ada jua rasa kan menumbuk dinding kadang-kadang. But I think bagus jua lah mimpi-mimpi of that sort. In real life, something that interesting won't hapen to me, so mimpi pun kira okay lah. Cubatah, orang Brunei mana boleh kawin sama Katy Perry ah? Cubatah? At least aku pernah. Walaupun dalam mimpi yo. Tapi kalau banar-banar wah Katy Perry biniku... inda ku keluar rumah. Banar.

You know how salah satu daripada gangsa hantaran kalau orang kahwin atu is 'pembuka mulut' right? Gangsa pembuka mulut usually comprises of an amount of money and a ring. That got me thinking. Since that is our tradition, I'm guessing it has been around dari dulu sudah. Tepikir tia ku; jadinya it took those women back in the day an amount of money and a ring to finally buka mulut. How materialistic.

So kirakan newly weds ani malu-malu kali wah lapas nikah atu. Becakap pun malu. Sekali the husband would present the pembuka mulut supaya the bride will finally start talking: Wah, lawa cincin ani, Abang! (Sudah atu!) So a pembuka mulut ani kirakan ice breaker. Nada gangsa pembuka mulut, no talk. No money, no talk. It's like, with the pembuka mulut - 'Now we're talking!'

I'm not saying that we should stop that tradition though. It was just a thought of mine. I just found it funny. Kalau aku kahwin ada pulang tu gangsa atu kali. Nowadays it's just a matter of following the tradition. Mana lagi ada orang sudah kawin baru bejumpa karang ani. Dulu-dulu ganya tu kana tamu-tamu kan atu. Karang ani cubatah, mengamuk kali eh.

Kenapa aku cakap pasal kawin? Antah ah, it just seems like it's the next thing to do, especially after bekeraja and bekereta. HAHAHAHAHAHA hell no.

Finally working

2008-11-18T22:09:00.003+08:00

If I wasn't starting work tomorrow, I wouldn't have gone to www.blogger.com and update this blog. You see, up till yesterday, nothing interesting have been happening in my life, nada langsung wah. Hence, there was nothing to update anyway. Kalau ku update tiap-tiap hari pun it would be about what I did that day. And trust me it's just makan, tidur & liat tv. Mati karang kamu sorang-sorang membaca keboringan. Post ani boring pulang ni, so bisai-bisai kamu ah.

Yes, I am still alive. Sehat lagi. (In Brunei, the word sehat has two definitions: One, it means healthy. Kedua, it's a polite way of saying how unflatteringly fat someone has gotten.) So by sehat, I'm going for the second definition.

I'm starting work tommorow and I am nervous like hell. I don't know what's going to happen. I guess it's only natural to feel like this. It's just that starting tommorow, a transition will start. It will be a completly different lifestyle. Inda lagi dapat bangun akhir, mesti bangun awal. Inda lagi boleh pakai seluar pendek dari pagi sampai malam, mesti pakai smart pants, baju kemeja and a tie. Man, I feel old. So starting tommorow, I'm officially an adult kah ni kirakan? Woo hoo~ Hahaha keraja sudah, next step: cari bini. Mwahahaha.

Like I said, I will be stationed at MTSSR, as a Pengajar Teknik. Not sure what I'll be teaching though. But I doubt they'll let me teach tarus. Observing classes kali dulu. Like I said, I don't know what's going to happen. Boh sekali kana suruh mengajar tarus :s Haha.

It's 10PM and I should be sleeping. Tapi liat saja ni karang. Mana ku betidur sampai pagi ni. This always happens. When something big is happening the next day, inda ku dapat betidur langsung. Either pasal iski, nervous atau beuri. Bila saja ada big event esoknya, mana ku betidur. Macam orang gila tah ku tu melimpang di atas katil pusing kanan pusing kiri. I think I'll knock myself up with some cough syrup, that should do the trick.

BOH AKU KERAJAAAAAA~

There you go, ladies. Finally a valid reason you can use to consider me as your life companion. Haha. Oh god, lets not get into that. Laters!

Saya kasi urut free boss

2008-10-30T18:41:00.003+08:00

"Eh kenapa kamu surung? Saya cakap trim siring jua saja!"

If you have me on your MSN, then you would probably have noticed that as my personal message on MSN. To be honest, most of the time, I get my blogging inspirations from making a statement arah MSN. Sekali when it gets too long, I'd say to myself: baik tah ku simpan dalam blog. MSN's personal message punya space is very limited. Alum abis cerita ku, inda tia lagi ada space.

Anyway, it's been almost dua bulan aku gundul (by gundul, I mean number 2/3 and not skin-head gundul). I'm the kind of person who gets bored really easily, so I deciced to let my hair grow. But aku suka wah ke kedai gunting. Aku selalu cari alasan kan begunting. Kalau tah boleh tiap-tiap hari ku begunting. So anyway, tadi walaupun aku inda mau bergunting, aku datang jua ke kedai gunting. I initially just wanted my sides to be trimmed sedikit.

Ia keluarkan the electric shaver, sekali I thought ia kan pakai atu untuk trim. Sekali inda. Ia surung rambutku nombor 2. I was like, "Eh kenapa kamu surung? Saya cakap trim siring jua saja!"

"Sorry boss. Boss cakap kasi pendek jua. Mungkin saya salah dengar, boss. Sorry boss! Saya kasi urut free?"

Jadinya tumbuh kali rambut ku tarus kalau ia bagi aku urut free? Mun cematu abis ku suruh orang yang gundul-not-by-choice melawat kadai nya. Sekali urut, tumbuh rambut. Bisai! Hair loss problems finally solved. Right here in Brunei!

Inda pulang ku mental arahnya. I ended up saying "inda apa lah kawan". Kesian jua ku kan ia. Macam kan menangis ada jua usulnya; tapi eksen ku. Kesian jua tu banar. Humans make mistakes wah ah kawan ah. He probably had a rough day. Bininya batah sudah inda call ia kah, kawannya inda kawan ia kah, sandwich nya kana makan kah, apa kah apa kah.

About the free massage, he did end up giving me a ten-minute head massage. Tapi lain rasa ku inda membayar walaupun HE SPOILED MY DREAM OF LETTING MY HAIR GROW. Aku bayar extra sedikit pasal ia sincerely baik. I paid sepuluh ringgit of which $4 gunting, $2 cukur, $2 urut and $2 apology. Mun ia inda apologise and kurang ajar sama aku wah. Ku cukur kepalanya balik sampai ia menangis. Eksen ku. I'm not that mean. Hahaha.

Malar jua aku eksen ani eh. I read in the news that the world's fattest man has gotten married. News like these give me so much hope! =P

Hey

2008-10-15T07:45:00.005+08:00

How's everybody doing? I'm still in London at the moment. It's hard to get internet here where I stay that's why I've been MIA a little bit. I should be arriving in Brunei next week. Can't wait!

I've stocked myself up with medicines to reduce my hayfever allergies which I always suffer upon my arrival in Brunei. That's the part I'm not so looking forward to. It always happens, and it will keep me damam for weeks. 24 hours of sneezing, watery eyes, bla bla bla.

Speaking of sneezing, I know I sneeze very loudly. But I don't understand how it can be funny. Whenever I sneeze in public, people always laugh at me. I feel like banging there heads against the wall sometimes, but baik jua aku sabar. I can't control my sneeze. I don't like to suppress my sneeze. A lot of people do that though. They sneeze 'inside'. Ijap ku meliat, takut ku telakap bah biji mata durang. Whenever I see them do that, rasa kan ku teriaki wah kadang-kadang. Inda payah tah kan control ayu wah, just sneeze, woman! Well, sebenarnya inda pulang ku sasak. Aku jeles saja aku inda pandai control. But I honestly think sneezing is one of the joys of life.

Apa khabar Brunei ah? Rindu ku. When I left, the hot story was that story which concerns Giant and a family whose son was 'kidnapped' by some supernatural being. I don't mean to be skeptical but is this true? Tau-tau rupanya Si Hua Ho yang buat cerita supaya Giant inda laku. It's possible, isn't it?

I can't believe I've missed another year of going to people's open houses! When I come back next week there will still be open houses pulang ni, which is cool. Bring it on. Weight gain, here I come! I bet at least half of us Bruneians has gained back the weight we've lost during Ramadhan sudah ni. Sebulan punya keraja, seminggu saja hari raya sudah tia belampuhan bilang orang. Baik jua setahun sekali ganya. Mun tiap-tiap bulan wah, abis runtuh ni Brunei ah. Luan barat rakyatnya. Nauzubillah!

It's already late, I'm half asleep and I'm talking crap. Antah, mengingau kali aku ani. I'm going to hit the sack now.

Salam.

BSUnion Hari Raya Celebration 1429H/2008M

2008-10-10T04:49:00.013+08:00

Hey everybody. To all students in the UK and Eire, the BSUnion Hari Raya Celebration 1429H/2008M will take place on 19 Oct 08. Please visit www.bsunion.org for more information.

Please help me spread the word by putting the above image on your personal blogs or website. Copy this embed code <*img src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y92/khairulhazirin/raya-flyer.gif"*> (Remove *) and paste it onto your blogs, thank you!

Raya raya raya

2008-09-29T00:41:00.003+08:00

Honestly speaking, it has been a while since I have visited my own blog. Awu, batah sudah ku inda melawat this blog, apa lagi kan mengupdate. It's not that I don't have the time, I think I lost the blogger in me, like seriously. So let me just give it a shot here. I'll just cakap whatever that comes to mind lah ah.

What have I been up to? Well, nothing much. I've just been bumming around di rumah my nini and running errands for everyone. I haven't seen much of my friends either. It's hard to arrange sungkai-out especially ujung-ujung puasa ani.

I didn't get the scholarship to pusure a BA Degree. So I should be starting work really soon, hopefully. I can't go as a private student because I simply can't afford it. Plus, I'm bonded to the government as a pendidik. If I went as a private student pun it would be against the agreement. It's all cool though. Things are fine either way. In a few weeks time, behold: Cikgu Jirin. InsyaAllah, if all goes well, I will be stationed at MTSSR. Speaking of which, what do you guys think sounds more Cikgu-ey? Cikgu Jirin? Cikgu Khairul? Sir Khairul? Sir Jirin? Mister Khairul? Haha, Jirin doesn't sound too professional, so maybe Khairul. But honestly, I sometimes don't even answer to the name Khairul. Luan biasa sudah wah kana panggil Jirin. I was told not to use Jirin because it doesn't sound glamourous. Haha, bulih? Peduli ku glamourous kah inda glamourous. Jadinya apa? Do I come up with a glamourous name now that I'm entering the working arena? Like Mister Not-So-Slim Shady or something like that? Uncool.

I'm quite excited to be back in the school environment. Probably not as a student this time, but as a teacher. I'm excited to see what I'm capable of. I probably wasn't the best behaved student back in the day, so I should be expecting students who are like me jua. Karma, it's called. I don't know if having students my age is a good thing or not. I shall wait and see.

Other than that, I am flying off to UK lagi for Hari Raya tommorow. So, again, I will be missing Hari Raya in Brunei once again; which saddens me really. It's gonna be the third time I'm gonna miss Raya. The parental unit insists that I join them and my two sisters for raya there in UK. Oh well. Maybe once I start work I'll be able to make my own decisions. No more Mister Pushover. So I say...

So we're approaching the end of Ramadhan. You think that 30 days is batah, and then the next thing you know, it's been 20+ days sudah ketani puasa. Time goes by really fast nowadays. Esuk lusa raya tia sudah. Yeah, the day when we all forgive and forget, the joyous days of Syawal. Aku ada potong baju cara melayu wah eventhough I won't be celebrating raya this year. Iatah I tried them on a few nights ago after I picked it up dari the tailor. That was the most of the raya -in-Brunei feeling that I could get this year. Bummer. Oh well, semoga umur panjang, ada lagi Hari Raya in the future.

Selamat Hari Raya to you. Sincerest apologies if anything. Take care blogees!

Hadis sahih: raja iblis MENGADAP BAGINDA JUNJUNGAN BESAR NABI MUHAMMAD RASULULLAH S.A.W.

2008-09-23T10:31:00.001+08:00

Ringkasan kisah ini telah disesuaikan kembali daripada penyusun asalnya Syaikh Muhammad bin Haji Mohd Said, Guru Madrasah Al-Sibyan, Singapura dan penerbit asalnya Hashim bin Haji Abdullah yang dicetak oleh Al-Ahmadiah Press (Pte) Ltd., Singapura.

Allah SWT telah menitahkan Malaikat untuk berjumpa raja iblis dan menyuruh raja iblis mengadap kehadhirat Baginda Junjungan Besar Nabi Muhammad Rasulullah S.A.W. bagi membuka segala jenis rahsia kegemaran dan kebencian raja iblis. Peristiwa ini juga membayangkan ketinggian darjat Baginda Rasulullah S.A.W. serta menjadi perisai dan peringatan kepada sekelian umat Baginda. Malaikat menyatakan Titah Allah SWT kepada raja iblis :

Hai iblis!! Bahawa Allah SWT Yang Maha Mulia lagi Maha Besar telah menitahkan engkau supaya mengadap kehadhirat Rasulullah S.A.W. dan hendaklah engkau membuka segala rahsiamu dan apa-apa yang disoal oleh Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. hendaklah engkau menjawab dengan benar dan sekiranya engkau berdusta walau satu perkataan sekalipun nescaya diputuskan segala anggotamu dan uratmu serta engkau akan disiksa dengan azab yang amat keras

Mendengar sahaja perkataan Malaikat berkenaan, iblis terasa dahsyat dan amat gerun sekali. Dengan segera iblis datang mengadap Baginda Rasulullah S.A.W. dengan menyamar menjadi seorang tua yang buta sebelah matanya (please refer to text at the end for reference) serta berjanggut putih sebanyak 10 helai yang panjangnya seperti ekor lembu. iblis memberikan salam dengan penuh hormat dan takzim sebanyak 3 kali yang tiada dijawab oleh Baginda Rasulullah S.A.W.. iblis pun bertanya :-

Yaa Rasulullah, mengapakah Tuan Hamba tidak menjawab akan salam hamba kerana bukankah salam itu sangat mulia di sisi Allah SWT?

Maka sabda Baginda S.A.W. :-

Hai aduwullah musuh Tuhan! Kepada akukah engkau menunjukkan helahmu? Patutkah engkau dengan urusanmu itu hendak menipu aku sebagaimana engkau menipu Nabi Allah Adam A.S. sehingga terkeluar dari syurga dan Habil mati teraniaya dibunuh oleh Qabil dengan sebab hasutan engkau serta Nabi Allah Ayub A.S. engkau tipu asap racun semasa baginda sujud di dalam solatnya hingga begitu lama baginda menanggung sengsara oleh perbuatan engkau. Dan Nabi Allah Daud A.S. dengan perempuan pahlawan Urya serta Nabi Allah Sulaiman A.S. meninggalkan kerajaannya kerana engkau menyamar sebagai isterinya untuk melarikan cincin baginda; demikian juga beberapa Anbiya A.S.W.S serta para ulama yang telah menanggung kesengsaraan dan penganiayaan oleh perbuatan mu yang khianat. Hai iblis! Sebenarnya salam itu sangat mulia pada Tuhan Azza Wajalla. Hanya salam engkau sahaja aku tidak ingin menjawabnya kerana telah diharamkan oleh Tuhan dan engkau ini terlaknat serta telah ditentukan kepada engkau kedalam neraka yang amat keras bagi menyiksa dirimu. Maka aku kenal sangat bahawa engkaulah iblis yang menjadi raja segala syaitan telah datang dalam bentuk penyamaran. Apakah tujuan engkau datang mengadapku ini?

Maka sembah iblis :

Ya Nabi Allah, janganlah Tuan Hamba murka. Demi sesungguhnya, Tuan Hambalah Nabi yang terakhir lagi mulia dan kekasih Allah S.W.T. maka dapatlah Tuan Hamba mengenali hamba. Ya Nabi Allah, tujuan kedatangan hamba ke mari ialah dengan keizinan Tuhan Azza Wajalla. Allah SWT telah mengutuskan malaikatNya dengan Titah supaya hamba datang mengadap ke hadhirat Tuan Hamba. Ini supaya Tuan Hamba dapat bertanyakan apa juga persoalan mengenai keadaan umat Tuan Hamba. Hamba sedia menkhabarkan secara terus-terang mengenai tipu daya hamba di atas sekelian manusia bermula daripada zaman Nabi Allah Adam A.S. sehinggalah kepada zaman yang akan datang selepas zaman Tuan Hamba. Mereka yang hamba goda kepada beberapa banyak simpang dan jalan yang sesat supaya mereka binasa dengan tipu daya hamba yang amat halus.

Ya Nabi Allah, setiap pertanyaan Tuan Hamba akan hamba jawab satu persatu dengan sebenar-benarnya tanpa sembunyi.

Maka raja iblis pun bersumpah dengan nama Tuhan dan berkata :

Ya Nabi Allah, sekiranya hamba berdusta barang sepatah kata sekalipun, nescaya hancur-leburlah diri hamba terbakar menjadi abu

Mendengarkan pengakuan Raja iblis dan sumpahnya, maka Rasulullah S.A.W. berasa sukacita dan merasakan inilah peluang keemasan untuk baginda menyiasat segala perbuatan raja iblis dengan disaksikan oleh sekelian sahabat yang hadir di majlis berkenaan. Ianya juga akan menjadi senjata atau perisai kepada sekelian umat hingga kemudian hari.

DIALOG

RASULULLAH S.A.W : Wahai iblis! Siapakah yang sebesar-besar seteru engkau dan apakah pandanganmu terhadap aku ini?

raja iblis : Ya Nabi Allah, Tuan Hambalah musuh hamba yang paling besar daripada segala seteru hamba di muka bumi ini.

Maka Rasulullah S.A.W. merenung wajah raja iblis menyebabkan iblis menggeletar segenap tubuh badan serta anggotanya disebabkan terlalu gerun akan kebesaran Baginda.

raja iblis : Ya Nabi Allah, hamba mampu menyamar sebagai sesiapa juga termasuk haiwan bersekali dengan suara-suara yang tepat. Hamba ditegah Tuhan Azza Wajalla untuk menyamar sebagai Tuan Hamba kerana jika hamba melakukan yang demikian, nescaya terbakarlah hamba menjadi abu .

raja iblis : Hamba bersungguh-sungguh merentap iktikad anak Adam supaya mereka menjadi kafir ialah kerana Tuan Hamba bersungguh-sungguh menasihatkan mereka dengan memberikan pedoman kepada seluruh manusia supaya berpegang teguh kepada Islam. Begitulah juga kesungguhan hamba menarik mereka kepada kafir, murtad dan munafik. Hamba tarik sekelian umat Islam supaya meninggalkan jalan yang lurus dan beralih kepada jalan yang sesat. Hamba berharap mereka akan mauk ke neraka bersama-sama dengan hamba serta kekal di dalamnya buat selama-lamanya

RASULULLAH S.A.W: Hai iblis! Bagaimanakah perbuatanmu kepada makhluk Allah SWT?

raja iblis : Ya Nabi Allah, hamba goda perempuan-perempuan supaya merenggangkan kedua pahanya kepada lelaki yang bukan suaminya dan sesetengahnya hingga menghasilkan benih yang bersalah-salahan sifatnya. Hamba goda segala manusia supaya meninggalkan solat dan leka dengan makan-minum dan berbuat kemungkaran. Sesetengahnya hamba lalaikan dengan harta-bendanya daripada emas, perak, rumah dan ladang dan hasilnya dibelanjakan ke atas segala pekerjaan yang haram. Telah banyak kaum lelaki dan perempuan terpesong imannya menerusi tentera jin, iblis dan syaitan yang hamba perintahkan supaya menarik mereka ke jalan kemungkaran. Kalau terdapat sesuatu pesta yang melibatkan pergaulan bebas lelaki dan perempuan, maka hamba akan menggoda bersungguh-sungguh supaya mereka kehilangan maruah, meminum arak dan mempengaruhi rakannya dengan cara paksaan supaya meminum arak sehingga hilang akal dan hilang rasa malu mereka. Lalu hamba hulurkan tali percintaan yang asyik sehingga terbuka beberapa pintu maksiat yang besar supaya mereka berhasad-dengki sehingga melakukan perzinaan. Apabila lelaki dan perempuan berkasih-kasihan, maka terpaksalah mereka mencari wang menerusi tipu daya serta mencuri. Sekiranya mereka menyedari kesalahan masing-masing dan ingin bertaubat atau beramal-ibadat, hamba akan halang mereka sehingga mereka bertangguh dan bertempoh dalam berbuat kebajikan. Hamba juga akan menggoda dengan lebih kuat supaya melazimkan maksiat dan menyukai isteri orang. Maka telah ramai umat Tuan Hamba telah hamba sesatkan dengan jalan ini dengan bantuan jin, syaitan dan iblis di mana hamba menyuruh mereka menghasut seluruh anggota manusia hingga ke dalam tubuh badannya. Apabila mereka digoda pada hati, maka mereka akan sentiasa riak dan takabbur, ujub serta melengah-lengahkan amalnya dan berlaku sombong. Apabila mereka digoda pada lidah, maka sentiasalah mereka gemar berdusta, mencela dan mengumpat satu sama lain. Demikianlah hamba menghasut mereka semasa siang, malam, pagi dan petang.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: Hai iblis! Mengapakah engkau suka bersusah-payah dan berpenat-penatan untuk melakukan pekerjaan yang tidak memberikan sebarang faedah kepada dirimu bahkan menambahkan lagi laknat ke atas dirimu serta engkau akan ditimpakan sebesar-besar siksaan di dalam neraka yang paling bawah sekali?

RASULULLAH S.A.W: Hai laknatuLlah! Siapakah yang menghidupkan engkau? Siapakah yang menjadikan engkau? Siapakah yang melanjutkan usia engkau? Siapakah yang menerangkan mata engkau? Siapakah yang memberikan pendengaran telinga engkau? Siapakah yang memberikan kekuatan kepada anggota engkau?

raja iblis : Adalah sekeliannya itu adalah anugerah daripada Allah SWT yang Maha Besar. Tetapi hawa nafsu dan takabur serta khianat telah menyebabkan hamba melakukan sebesar-besar kejahatan. Tuan Hamba juga sedia maklum bahawa hamba pernah menjadi ketua segala malaikat sehingga ribuan tahun dan bersujud kepada Allah SWT semenjak di dunia ini lagi dan hamba telah dinaikkan darjat menerusi satu langit ke satu langit dengan aman. Hamba pun mendiami tempat hamba dengan beribadat bersama-sama malaikat serta berkhidmat kepada Tuhan Azza Wajalla dalam tempoh yang begitu lama.

Tiba-tiba datang Firman Allah SWT kepada hamba sekeliannya mengenai dijadikanNya seorang khalifah di dalam dunia ini. Maka hamba membantah kerana tidak suka berkhalifah. Lantas Tuhan Azza Wajalla menjadikan seorang lelaki dan dititahkan hamba dan sekelian Malaikat memberikan penghormatan kepada Adam kecuali hamba seorang enggan bersujud dan hamba telah mengingkari hukumNya. Maka hamba dimurkai Tuhan Azza Wajalla serta dilaknatiNya hamba sehingga Hari Qiamat. Wajah hamba yang selama ini bercahaya dan cantik telah dihapuskan oleh wajah yang hodoh dan keji. Hamba sakit hati dan begitu berdendam kepada Adam. Kemudian Adam diangkat oleh Tuhan Azza Wajalla menjadi raja di dalam syurga serta dikurniakan seorang isteri untuk dijadikan permaisuri yang memerintah segala bidadari. Sentiasalah mereka dalam kesukaan dan kesenangan. Hasad-dengki hamba menjadi-jadi kepada kedua mereka dan merancang untuk mengkhianati mereka. Akhirnya hamba telah menipu Siti Hawa supaya meminta Adam memakan buah khuldi larangan Tuhan Azza Wajalla. Maka kerana perempuan itulah, Adam termakan buah larangan berkenaan sehingga mereka dihalau dari syurga dan diturunkan ke dunia secara terpisah kedua suami-isteri beberapa lama sehinggalah dipertemukan kembali oleh Tuhan Azza Wajalla dengan selamatnya sehingga mereka mendapat beberapa orang anak lelaki dan perempuan. Kemudian kami hasut pula anak lelakinya yang bernama Qabil supaya membunuh abangnya Habil sehingga mati. Itupun hamba masih tidak berpuas hati sehingga hamba dapat melakukan pelbagai tipu-daya ke atas sekelian anak-cucunya hinggalah ke Hari Qiamat. Tetapi Tuan Hamba telah menghalang pekerjaan hamba dengan menarik mereka supaya memeluk Islam. Ada pun sebelum Tuan Hamba diputerakan ke dalam dunia ini, hamba bersama-sama bala tentera hamba mampu naik ke langit dengan mudahnya mencuri rahsia dan tulisan-tulisan yang menyuruh manusia berbuat ibadat dan mendapat pahala serta syurga. Demikian juga bagi mereka yang beribadat malam akan mendapat setinggi-tinggi pahala. Apabila hamba turun ke dunia, maka hamba khabarkan kepada mereka itu dengan jalan yang sesat melalui pelbagai tipu daya sehingga mereka berpegang kepada kitab-kitab bidaah dan karut. Tetapi apabila Tuan Hamba zahir ke alam dunia ini, maka hamba tidak dizinkan Allah SWT untuk naik ke langit dan hamba tiadalah lagi mendapat apa-apa rahsia umat Tuan Hamba. Ramai malaikat yang menjaga di pintu tiap-tiap lapisan langit dan jika hamba berdegil untuk naik ke langit, nescaya malaikat akan melontar anak panah api yang bernyala-nyala. Telah ramai bala tentera hamba daripada golongan jin, iblis dan syaitan terkena lontaran malaikat sehingga badan mereka terbakar menjadi abu. Hamba dan bala tentera hamba amat susah hati dalam usaha menjalankan hasutan ditambah pula Tuan Hamba dapat menzahirkan mukjizat-mukjizat yang amat hebat di hadapan sekelian raja-raja dan di khalayak ramai.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apakah tipu helah terawal engkau ke atas manusia?"

raja iblis : Pertama, hamba palingkan iman mereka sehingga terpesong iktikad mereka kepada kekafiran samada pada perkataan, perbuatan, kelakuan dan hati mereka. Namun jika mereka gagal hamba pesongkan, hamba akan berusaha menarik mereka kepada jalan yang mengurangkan pahala supaya lama-kelamaan, mereka akan terjerumus juga mengikut kemahuan hamba

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apabila umatku mendirikan solat, bagaimanakah keadaan engkau?"

raja iblis : "Itulah sebesar-besar kesusahan kepada hamba. Gementarlah seluruh badan hamba dan lemahlah tulang sendi hamba, maka pada waktu itu, hamba menyuruh puluhan syaitan iblis menggoda setiap orang yang hendak bersolat menerusi anggotanya supaya malas bersolat dan hatinya supaya was-was dalam solatnya serta terlupa bilangan rakaatnya. Mereka juga akan bimbangkan pekerjaan dunia dan hatinya hendak cepat-cepat menamatkan solatnya. Sesetengah iblis masuk ke dalam mata orang yang hendak bersolat supaya ia tidak kusyuk dalam solatnya sehingga mereka berpaling atau menjeling ke kanan dan kiri semasa solat. (Maka) tidaklah tetap hatinya serta hilanglah kusyuknya. Sesetengah iblis memasuki telinga orang yang bersolat supaya memasang telinga mendengar perbualan orang, bunyi-bunyian dan sebagainya - yang sia-sia belaka. Sesetengah iblis duduk pada belakangnya supaya orang yang bersolat itu tidak berupaya lama-lama semasa bersujud atau bertahiyyat. Di dalam hatinya sering bekehendakkan agar solatnya segera tamat dan ini tentunya akan mengurangkan pahala solat. Jika sekelian iblis berkenaan gagal menggoda seperti yang demikian, nescaya mereka akan hamba hukum seberat-beratnya.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Jika umatku membaca Al-Qur an kerana Allah, apakah yang engkau rasa?"

raja iblis : "Jika mereka membaca Al-Qur an kerana Allah, maka terbakarlah tubuh hamba serta putus-putus segala urat hamba, maka larilah hamba dari mereka.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku mengerjakan haji kerana Allah, apakah yang engkau rasa?"

raja iblis : "Telah binasalah diri hamba dan gugurlah tulang hamba kerana mereka telah menyempurnakan rukunnya.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku berpuasa kerana Allah, apakah yang engkau rasa?"

raja iblis : "Ya Nabi Allah, inilah suatu bencana yang besar bahayanya terhadap hamba kerana apabila masuk malam awal Ramadan, maka memancarlah nur Arasy dan Kursiy serta segala Malaikat menyambut dengan gembiranya. Bagi orang-orang yang berpuasa mendapat sebesar-besar anugerah Allah SWT yang Maha Pengampun segala dosa yang telah lalu serta digantikan pula dengan pahala yang amat besar serta tiada ditulis segala kesalahannya selama ia berpuasa. Tambahan pula yang menghancurkan hati hamba ialah segala isi langit, bulan dan bintang serta Malaikat sehinggalah burung-burung dan ikan-ikan laut dan air tawar juga tiap-tiap yang bernyawa di atas muka bumi mendoakan siang dan malam memohon ampun bagi orang-orang yang berpuasa. Satu lagi setinggi-tinggi kemuliaan orang yang berpuasa ialah Tuhan menjadikan 1000 kemerdekaan dari azab neraka pada setiap hari dalam Bulan Ramadan, segala pintu neraka ditutup, segala pintu syurga dibuka, angin/bayu syirah yang amat lembut berhembusan ke dalam syurga. Maka pada hari mulanya umat Tuan Hamba berpuasa, datanglah segala bala tentera Malaikat yang garang tanpa mengira lawannya menangkap hamba dengan perintah Tuhan serta ditangkapnya segala bala tentera hamba iaitu jin, syaitan dan ifrit serta dipasung kaki tangannya dengan besi panas - dan dirantainya hamba sekeliannya serta dibenamkan ke dalam bumi yang amat dalam dan ditambah pula dengan beberapa azab sengsara sehingga selesai ibadat puasa umat Tuan Hamba, baharulah hamba dilepaskan supaya hamba tidak boleh mengganggu mereka. Dan umat Tuan Hamba sendiri telah merasa kesenangan dalam menjalani ibadat puasa sebagaimana mereka bekerja untuk bersahur di waktu tengah malam seorang diri sekalipun tanpa sedikit perlu merasa takut seperti malam-malam yang lain

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Bagaimanakah halnya para sahabatku kepada engkau?
raja iblis : "Ya Nabi Allah, Adalah sekelian para sahabat Tuan Hamba adalah sebesar-besar seteru kepada hamba, kerana tiada upaya hamba melawan mereka dan tidak ada satu pun tipudaya hamba dapat memasuki mereka, kerana Tuan Hamba pernah berkata Sekelian para Sahabatku adalah umpama bintang di langit, jika kamu mengikuti mereka nescaya kamu akan mendapat petunjuk Ya Nabi Allah, sekelian para sahabat Tuan Hamba sangat taat mengerjakan perintah Tuan Hamba lagi setia serta bersungguh-sungguh menyiar dan menghebahkan syariat Tuan Hamba kepada sekelian manusia menerusi Al-Qur an dan Al-Hadis. Ada pun Sayyidina Abu Bakar As Siddiq bin Abi Qahafah R.A. itu semasa sebelum beliau bersama Tuan Hamba pun, hamba gagal menghampirinya apalagi sekarang beliau telah mendampingi Tuan Hamba. Beliau amat kuat bersaksi di atas kebenaran Tuan Hamba sehingga beliau telah menjadi wazirul a zam dan Tuan Hamba telah berkata bahawa kiranya ditimbang kebajikan Abu Bakar dengan amal kebajikan sekelian isi dunia ini, nescaya lebih beratlah kebajikan Abu Bakar. Tambahan pula, beliau telah menjadi bapa mertua Tuan Hamba dengan mengahwinkan puterinya Sayyidatina Aishah R.A yang sangat hafiz Hadis-Hadis Tuan Hamba. Ada pun sahabat Tuan Hamba, Sayyidina Umar Al-Khattab R.A., hamba tidak berani memandang wajahnya kerana beliau sangat tegas dalam menjalankan hukum syariat Tuan Hamba. Jika hamba terpandang wajahnya, maka gementarlah segala tulang sendi hamba kerana tersangat takut kepadanya kerana imannya yang sangat kuat apalagi Tuan Hamba pernah bersabda, Jikalaulah ada lagi Nabi selepas aku, nescaya Umar boleh menggantikannya kerana harapan besar Tuan Hamba ke atasnya. Beliau juga mampu membezakan iman dan kafir sehingga beliau mendapat gelaran Umar Al-Faruk . Ada pun sahabat Tuan Hamba, Sayyidina Osman Al-Affan itu lebih-lebih lagi tidak dapat hamba hampiri kerana lidahnya sentiasa bergerak membaca Al-Qur an, siang, malam, pagi dan petang. Dialah penghulu segala orang yang sabar dan penghulu segala syuhada dan menjadi menantu Tuan Hamba sebanyak 2 kali. Kerana ketaatannya, beliau dikunjungi oleh para Malaikat dengan penuh hormat kerana sangat malunya Malaikat kepada beliau. Tuan Hamba telah berkata, Barangsiapa menulis BismillaahirRahmaanirRahiim pada kitab-kitab atau kertas-kertas dengan dakwat merah, nescaya mendapat pahala baginya seperti pahala syahid Sayyidina Osman. Ada pun sahabat Tuan Hamba, Sayyidina Ali bin Abi Talib R.A., hamba sangat takut kepadanya kerana kehebatan kelakuannya serta kedahsyatan melihat keperkasaannya di medan peperangan merempuh segala musuhnya. Maka apabila iblis, syaitan dan jin memandang wajah Sayyidina Ali, nescaya terbakar kedua biji mata mereka kerana beliau sangat kuat mengerjakan perintah Tuhan serta beliau adalah julung-julungnya kanak-kanak yang memeluk Islam serta enggan menundukkan kepala kepada sebarang berhala, sebab itulah beliau digelar Ali KarimahullahuWajhah dan Harimau Allah . Tuan Hamba pernah bersabda, Akulah negeri segala ilmu dan Ali adalah pintunya . Tambahan pula, beliau telah menjadi menantu tuan hamba, maka terlebihlah ngeri hamba kepadanya.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Bagaimanakah tipudaya engkau terhadap umatku?
raja iblis : "Adalah umat Tuan Hamba ada tiga golongan (1) Seperti air hujan turun dari langit yang menghidupkan segala tumbuhan lagi banyak manfaatnya dan pertolongan kepada lainnya iaitu guru-guru yang memberi nasihat kepada manusia supaya mengerjakan perintah Allah SWT dan menjauhi segala tegahanNya dan kata (Malaikat) Jibril A.S., Adapun ulama itu pelita dunia dan pelita akhirat (2) Umat Tuan Hamba itu seperti tanah iaitu orang (yang) sabar, bersyukur dan redha akan kurnia Tuhan kepadanya serta beramal soleh dan bertawakkal kepada Allah dan banyak berbuat kebajikan, dan (3) Umat Tuan Hamba itu keadannya seperti Fir aun yang terlampau tamak dengan harta dunia (dan) dihilangkan amal (perbuatan) akhirat. Maka (dengan) sukacitalah hamba kepada mereka (umat ke 3) lalu hamba masuk ke dalam tubuh mereka, hamba putarkan hati mereka menuju ke lautan derhaka. Apabila telah kekal atas jalan kejahatan, hamba tarik ke mana (sahaja) sesuka hati hamba, jadi sentiasalah mereka bimbangkan dunia dan tidak suka menuntut ilmu, dijadikan dirinya tiada kelapangan untuk beramal, tidak mengeluarkan zakat hartanya dan sesetengah (golongan) yang miskin (yang) hendak beribadat, hamba goda mereka (supaya) meminta kekayaan terlebih dahulu, maka apabila disampaikan Tuhan akan hajatnya untuk mendapatkan kesenangan, maka (hamba) lupakan mereka dari beramal, tidak mahu mengeluarkan zakat harta mereka ibarat Qarun dengan mahligainya dan diri mereka serta harta benda mreka habis terbenam ke dalam bumi kerana mereka tidak mahu membelanjakan (harta mereka) pada jalan-jalan kebajikan dan jika terkena kesakitan, mereka tidak sabar, mereka sentiasa bimbangkan harta mereka dan sesetengah dari mereka yang kaya asyik dengan perebutan dunia, bercakap besar kepada sesama Islam dan benci dan menghina golongan miskin. Mereka gemar mengeluarkan harta mereka kepada jalan-jalan maksiat dan menaburkan harta mereka kepada perempuan-perempuan jahat dan tempat-tempat judi dan (majlis) tarian.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Siapa pula yang sama (tarafnya) seperti engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang-orang yang meringankan syari at Tuan Hamba dan membenci orang-orang yang mempelajari Islam.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Siapakah pula yang memberikan cahaya pada muka engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang-orang yang berdosa dan bersumpah bohong dan (menjadi) saksi pembohong serta memungkiri janji.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Apa pula rahsia engkau terhadap umatku?
raja iblis : "Jika seorang muslim ingin membuang air besar (ke tandas), jika tidak membaca doa kepada Allah SWT untuk mohon perlindungan daripada syaitan, nescaya hamba lumurkan najis itu ke tubuhnya tanpa disedari.

(Inilah doanya sebelum sampai ke tandas - Bismillahi AllaHomma Innii a uu dzubikaminal khubusi wal khobaa is jika masuk ke tandas, dahulukanlah kaki kiri dan jika keluar dari tandas dahulukan pula kaki kanan dan apabila jauh empat-lima langkah daripada tandas, dibaca di dalam hati GhufraanakalhamdulillaaHilladzii azHaba annil azaa wa aafinii dan apabila selesai bersuci dibacakan doa AllaaHumma ToHHir Qalbii minnifaaqi wahaSSin farjii minal fawaa hi shi )

Maka jika dibacakan doa-doa tersebut, larilah hamba daripadanya

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku berjimak dengan isterinya, bagaimanakah keadaan engkau?
raja iblis : "Jika seseorang hendak berjimak dengan isterinya, (dan) jika dia membaca : A uu dzubillaaHiminassyaitaanirrajiim, AllaHumma jannibnaa minassyaitaani wajannibissyaitaan maa razaqtanaa maka larilah hamba daripadanya. Maka jika dia tidak membacakan doa tersebut, (maka) hambalah yang terlebih dahulu berjimak dengan isterinya dan jika menjadi anak (hasil pergaulannya), maka anak itu menggemari pekerjaan maksiat serta malas berbuat (baik) atas jalan kebajikan dengan sebab kelalaian ibubapanya. Demikian juga jika mereka makan atau minum dengan tidak membaca BismillaahirRahmaaniRahiim maka, hambalah yang terlebih dahulu makan dan minum sebelum mereka, maka walaupun mereka makan, tetapi mereka tidak kenyang.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Dengan jalan manakah yang dapat menolak tipudayamu?
raja iblis : "Jika seseorang berbuat dosa, maka ia segera sedar dan bertaubat kepada Allah SWT dan menangis serta menyesal di atas perbuatannya serta apabila dia marah, dengan segera dia berwudhuk, nescaya padamlah kemarahannya. Barangsiapa yang membaca doa ini setiap kali solat Jumaat sebanyak 5 kali, maka dosanya akan diampunkan Tuhan kerana dia telah bertaubat. Inilah doanya : Ilaahii lasta lil firdausi ahlan, walaa aq waa a laa naaril jahiim, fahablii taubatan waghfir dzunuubii, fainnaka ghaafirudzzanbil aziim

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah yang benar-benar menjadi kegemaranmu?
raja iblis : "Apabila lelaki dan perempuan tidak mencukur atau mencabut atau menggunting bulu di ari-arinya selama 40 hari, maka hamba akan tinggal mengecilkan diri seperti pepijat bersarang di situ, begitu juga, (menjadi) tempat hamba bergantung dan berbuai pada bulu ketiak orang yang tidak mencukurnya atau mencabutnya

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah saudaramu?
raja iblis : "Orang yang tidur meniarap atau tidur (nyenyak) di waktu subuh, maka dia masih tidur dan tidak segera solat subuh, maka hamba akan mengulitnya sehingga dia lena sehingga terbit matahari dan begitu juga pada waktu zohor, asar dan maghrib, hamba (akan) beratkan hatinya (sehingga) menjadi malas mengerjakan solat.

(Apabila hendak tidur, bacalah BismillaahirRahmaanirRahiim sebanyak 21 X)

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Dengan jalan manakah yang boleh membinasakanmu?
raja iblis : "Orang yang banyak menyebut nama Allah dan banyak memberikan sedekah dengan tidak diketahui orang, memperbanyakkan taubat, memperbanyakkan tadarrus Al-Qur an serta solat di waktu malam.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apakah pula yang memecahkan penglihatan engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang yang banyak beriktikaf di masjid kerana Allah

(lafaz niat iktikaf Nawaitul I tikaaf fii Haa dzal masjidi sunnatan lilLaahiTa aala )

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apakah lagi yang memecahkan penglihatan engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang yang taat kepada (kedua) ibubapanya serta membantu (menjaga) makan dan minum serta pakaian mereka kerana Tuan Hamba telah bersabda Bermula syurga itu adalah di bawah (tapak) kaki ibubapa

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apa pula yang merantai engkau?
raja iblis : "Penjual (peniaga) yang betul timbangan (dan) sukatannya, ukuran dan tukarannya.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apabila umatku memberi salam antara satu dengan yang lain, bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Apabila dua orang (muslim) bertemu di tengah jalan, lantas memberikan salam (Assalaamu alaikum waroh matulLaaHiwabaa rakaatuh) dan dijawab oleh saudaranya, maka terasa seperti pecah dada hamba, maka hamba pun meratap kerana kedua-duanya telah diampunkan- dia dan saudaranya - apabila berpisah keduanya

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah pula sahabat karibmu?
raja iblis : "Orang yang minum arak atau tuak (samsu) atau (ketagih) candu atau ganja (termasuk penyalahgunaan dadah) kerana kemerbahayaannya telah nyata menyebabkan perpecahan, perkelahian dan perceraian

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah pula yang bersekutu dan sekedudukan dengan engkau?
raja iblis : "Apabila bertemu lelaki dengan perempuan-perempuan muda, maka hamba duduk pada leher perempuan-perempuan muda itu, hamba hiaskan wajahnya (perempuan) dengan jelingan dan senyuman yang menarik hati serta apabila terpandang belakang (perempuan), maka terpandanglah lehernya (perempuan) yang halus dengan pinggang dan punggungnya melenggang yang membangkitkan nafsunya (lelaki) serta manakala terpandang hadapannya (perempuan), hamba hiaskan dadanya (perempuan) supaya bergetaran serta hamba panah tepat pada jantung hati keduanya (lelaki dan perempuan) atau salah satu daripadanya sehingga tergerak syahwatnya. Orang yang tiada memelihara hatinya, nescaya tidak terpelihara farajnya dan apabila tidak memelihara farajnya, maka tidak terpeliharalah imannya.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Di manakah kediamanmu?
raja iblis : "(hamba tinggal) Pada rumah berhala dan pada mana-mana batu, kayu, tembaga dan sebagainya (bahan pujaan) Apabila mereka menyembah (berhala, batu, kayu, tembaga dan sebagainya), maka hamba cenderungkan hati mereka supaya bertambah-tambah keyakinannya terhadap pekerjaan mereka (menyembah berhala) yang syirik itu. Betapa ramainya umat Tuan Hamba telah hamba pesongkan sehingga memasuki rumah berhala Majusi dan Hindu yang menunjukkan betapa nipisnya iman mereka.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Di manakah tempat perhimpunanmu?
raja iblis : "Pada rumah wayang dan tempat majlis tarian dan seumpamanya seperti tempat percampuran lelaki dan perempuan (secara bebas)

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Aku lihat engkau mengintai-ngintai di dalam masjid, apakah yang hendak engkau lakukan?
raja iblis : "Hamba hendak mengganggu orang yang sedang bersolat di situ.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Kenapa engkau tidak takutkan orang yang sedang bersolat dan bermunajat dengan Tuhannya? Sebaliknya engkau takut pula dengan orang yang sedang tidur di sebelahnya padahal orang (yang sedang tidur) itu (mungkin) dalam keadaan lalai
raja iblis : "Adapun orang yang sedang bersolat itu amat jahil sekali, (maka) mudahlah untuk hamba merosakkan (melalaikan) solatnya, tetapi orang yang sedang tidur itu (sebenarnya) alim. Maka apabila hamba menggoda dan cuba merosakkan solatnya, hamba takut kalau-kalau orang alim itu bangun dari tidurnya lalu menegur serta memperbetulkan solat si jahil itu

(Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. Na umul aliimi khairun min ibaadatil jahiil yang bermaksud Tidur orang yang alim lebih baik daripada ibadat orang yang jahil seperti 1000 orang beribadat dengan tidak berilmu agama, sangat senanglah syaitan mengganggunya, teapi seorang pelajar ilmu feqah itu, sangat susah bagi syaitan hendak menggodanya)

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apakah kata-kata pujian bagimu?
raja iblis : "Suara orang yang bernyanyi dan berpantun-seloka serta suara bunyi-bunyian kecuali orang yang bernyanyi, berpantu, bernazam memuji Tuhan, bernasyid serta berselawat di atas Nabi

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah yang sekaum denganmu?
raja iblis : "Orang yang menipu harta orang dan memakan harta anak yatim serta memakan riba

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Sebab apakah engkau gelapkan hati manusia?
raja iblis : "Mereka yang makan dan minum dengan (punca) mata pencarian yang haram kerana mereka buta dalam mencari harta yang halal serta mereka banyak tidur sehingga matahari tinggi dan meninggalkan solat subuh serta memenuhi perutnya dengan kenyang sekali

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah yang menggembirakan hati engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang kaya yang bakhil dan orang yang tidak mengeluarkan zakat untuk hamba Allah yang dhaif, malah zakatnya dihantar kepada orang lain padahal kaumnya miskin, kerana orang yang bakhil itu seteru Allah SWT serta orang yang tidak mengeluarkan zakat itu akan masuk ke dalam neraka yang paling bawah bersama-sama dengan hamba.

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah yang menyuburkan badan engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang yang berhasad dengki dan orang yang tidak mempelajari hukum Islam serta semua perempuan yang jahat dan perempuan yang merosakkan dirinya serta perempuan yang menjual maruahnya

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika seorang ulama meninggal dunia, bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Telah subur dan bertunaslah hasutan hamba dan pekerjaan hamba.

(Sabda Rasullullah S.A.W. - yang bermaksud Barangsiapa yang berdukacita di atas kematian seorang ulama , maka dituliskan Allah SWT pahala baginya seribu ulama dan seribu syuhada , Sabda Rasulullah SAW lagi yang bermaksud Akan datang atas umatku yang melarikan diri dari ulama atau mereka yang membenci golongan yang mengajar agama, maka diberikan Allah SWT 3 jenis bala ke atas mereka (yang membenci atau melarikan diri dari ulama dan seumpamanya) (1) Dihilangkan keberkatan dalam pencariannya (rezki), (2) Didatangkan Allah SWT ke atas mereka seorang ketua yang zalim atau raja yang zalim, dan (3) dikeluarkan (dimatikan) mereka daripada dunia dengan tidak beriman Na uu dzubillaaHimin dzaalik kita berlindung dengan nama Allah SWT )

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku bersolat jemaah, bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Sesungguhnya segala simpulan (tali pengikat) tipudaya hamba telah mereka leraikan

(Maka sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. yang bermaksud Barangsiapa solat 5 waktu, maka dia akan mendapat 5 perkara (1) Tidak akan terkena pada dirinya kefakiran (kemiskinan), (2) Diangkatkan darinya siksa kubur oleh Allah S.W.T., (3) Dianugerahi orang itu dengan kitab tulisannya (perbuatan di dunia) pada sebelah kanan (pihak yang selamat), (4) Melalui titian (Siraatal Mustaqiim) di atas neraka sepantas kilat, (5) Dimasukkannya Allah SWT ke dalam syurga tanpa sebarang hisab dan tanpa sebarang siksaan. Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. lagi yang bermaksud Solat lelaki berjemaah lebih baik daripada solat 40 tahun di rumahnya seorang diri dan solat berjemaah itu mendapat 27 darjat - serta solat berjemaah di rumahnya bersama anak (anak) dan isterinya akan mendapat pahala haji dan umrah )

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku berselawat ke atas ku, bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Mereka telah membelah muka hamba disebabkan ingatan kuat terhadap Tuan Hamba

(Maka sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. yang bermaksud Barangsiapa berselawat ke atasku, maka para Mailaikat akan memohon diampunkan (segala dosanya) dia dan dia adalah sebahagian daripada isi syurga

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku bersolat Hari Raya di masjid, bagaimanakah keadaanmu? Kerana Tuhanku yang Maha Besar telah berfirman - Hai sekelian Malaikat! Saksikanlah olehmu bahawa sesungguhnya telah Aku ampunkan sekelian dosa umat Muhammad, lelaki dan wanita/perempuan, Maka apabila telah selesai dari solat dan khutbah dibacakan, maka Firman Allah SWT Hai umat Muhammad! Pulanglah kamu ke rumah masing-masing, sesungguhnya Aku telah mengampunkan dosa kamu yang terdahulu dan yang kemudian dan Aku telah gantikan dosamu itu dengan kebajikan!
raja iblis : "Ya Rasulullah! Apabila umat Tuan Hamba pergi (untuk) bersolat Hari Raya, maka hamba sangat berdukacita dan kesal. Maka hamba pun menjerit sehingga datang sekelian bala tentera hamba dan (mereka) bertanya Hai raja kami! Siapakah yang engkau marah? Adakah ianya (puncanya) dari langit atau dari bumi? Perintahkanlah kami sekelian pergi membinasakan barang di langit dan di bumi. Maka hamba menjawab Hai bala tenteraku! Apa yang menyebabkan aku berdukacita ialah kerana Allah SWT telah mengampuni umat Muhammad pada Hari Raya ini. Wahai sekelian bala tenteraku! Tidakkah kamu mengetahui bahawa Allah SWT telah memberkati puasa umat Muhammad? Dan Tuhan amat mengasihi dan mengasihani mereka dengan penuh rahmat serta diperkenankan segala doa mereka dan diampunkan segala kesalahan mereka? Wahai tenteraku! Hendaklah kamu goda mereka itu supaya malas beramal ibadat dan resah dengan berjalan ke sana dan kemari serta asyik berjudi serta bersukaria memuaskan nafsu dengan mengerjakan maksiat supaya datang kemurkaan Tuhan ke atas mereka itu dan ditimpakan bala ke atas mereka kerana dengan demikian, akan membawa kesenangan di dalam hatiku. Maka berangkatlah sekelian bala tentera iblis syaitan untuk mengganggu umat Muhammad

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Jika umatku membaca doa akhir tahun (Hijrah), bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Telah bersusah payah hamba menggoda mereka sepanjang tahun, tiba-tiba mereka membaca doa (yang hanya) mengambil masa yang sedikit, maka lemahlah hamba lalu hamba menyapu dengan tanah (dan berkata), aduhai, celaka betapa malang dan celaka diriku dengan kerugian, maka hamba pun berpaling (dan) pergi

(Doa Hujung Tahun AllaaHomma maa amiltu min amalin fii HaaziHissanati mimmaa nahaitanii anHu, walam tar Dhahu walam tan sahu, wahamilta alaiyya ba da qud rotika alaa, uquubatii, wada autanii ilattaubati ba da jur aatii alaa ma Siatika, fainnii astaghfiruka faghfirlii waHablii min amalin tarDhahu, wa wa datanii alaihitsawwaab )

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Jika umatku membaca doa awal tahun, bagaimanakah keadaanmu?
raja iblis : "Ya NabiyUllah! Putuslah harapan hamba, kerana barangsiapa membaca doa awal tahun, (maka) Tuhan memerintahkan dua Malaikat supaya membakar buku kesalahan hambanya dan dituliskan kebajikan di dalam (buku kebajikan) disebabkan orang yang membaca doa ini .

(Doa Awal Tahun AllaaHomma antal abdiyyulQadiim,waHaaziHi sanatu jadiidatun, as aluka fiihal iSmata minassyaiTooni wa au liyaa ihi. Wal au na alaa Haa dzihiinnafsil ammaarati bissuu wal ish ti ghaala bisaa yuQorribunii ilaika yaa Kariim )

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Siapakah yang menyokong engkau?
raja iblis : "Orang yang tidak bertaubat atas dosanya dan suka ketawa ketika berbuat dosa berkenaan. Ya NabiyyUllaah! Telah hamba binasakan ramai manusia dengan (menggoda mereka) mengerjakan dosa daripada berbagai-bagai (jenis) maksiat, maka hamba gembria. Tiba-tiba, mereka mengucapkan kalimah-kalimah Laa ilaa Ha illAllaah dan istighfar, maka binasalah hamba, kerana pada masa hamba dibuang ke dunia (dulu), hamba mengembara sambil bersiul-siul dan orang yang bersiul itu adalah penghibur iblis syaitan, tetapi orang yang azan itu adalah penghalau iblis syaitan, kerana para Malaikat akan hadir bersolat bersama-sama dengan mereka .

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Sekarang apalah kesudahan ikhtiar engkau di atas umatku, kerana aku telah dibangkitkan oleh Tuhan ke dunia ini bagi menyelamatkan sekelian bani Adam daripada kufur kepada iman, daripada gelap gelita kepada terang benderang?!
Maka iblis pun mengangkat kepalanya ke hadhirat Tuhan dan berkata Yaa Rabbi! Demi kemuliaan Engkau, sentiasalah hamba akan berusaha dengan bersungguh-sungguh pada menarik sekelian anak Adam kepada berbagai-bagai jalan maksiat selama ada nyawa di tubuh mereka, hamba jadikan pemuda dan wanita bercampur dan berkenalan, supaya hamba dapat mencelah di dalamnya.

(Maka) Datanglah Firman Allah SWT :

Hai mala un, Demi Kebesaran dan KetinggianKu, bahawa Aku sentiasa bersedia untuk mengampuni dosa umat Muhammad selagi mereka itu memohon ampun kepadaKu

RASULULLAH S.A.W: "Hai iblis! Apa lagi yang engkau musykilkan?
raja iblis : "Ya Rasulullah! Bahawasanya hamba sangat ajaib (hairan) melihat dua macam hal sekelian hamba Allah SWT iaitu (1) Mereka itu mengaku kasihkan Tuhan, walhal mereka itu taatkan hamba dan berbuat maksiat, (2) Mereka itu sangat marah kepada hamba, tetapi mereka menurut hasutan hamba.

(Maka) Datanglah Firman Allah SWT:

Hai mala un! Demi Kemuliaan dan KebesaranKu, Aku anugerahi umat Muhammad (dengan) 2 kebahagiaan : (1) Kasih mereka kepadaKu dijadikan kifarah (penebus dosa) bagi maksiat mereka kerana tipudayamu, dan (2) Kemarahan mereka kepadamu Aku jadikan kifarah (penebus dosa) perbuatan maksiat mereka kepadaKu

Maka iblis tercengang-cengang mendengar umat Muhammad yang sangat dikasihi Tuhan GhafuururRahiim yang Maha Mengampuni lagi Maha Mengasihani hambanya dengan limpah rahmatNya.

Setelah selesai baginda Rasulullah S.A.W. berdialog dengan raja Iblis, maka baginda menghalau iblis dengan sabdanya : Wahai laknatullah! Nyahlah engkau dari hadapanku ini maka iblis pun keluar dengan perasaan yang amat dukacita.

Maka hairanlah para sahabat yang hadir dalam majlis berkenaan mendengar tipudaya iblis yang menyelubungi seluruh umat manusia.

Sabda Nabi S.A.W.: Hai para sahabatku! Ketahuilah olehmu bahawa iblis telah membuat kesalahan atas beberapa sebab : (1) ia engkar dan membantah perintah Tuhan, (2) ia takbur dan besar diri (3) ia berhasad dengki dengan Nabi Adam a.s. (4) Ia menghasut dan mengkhianati (manusia) (dari) seorang kepada seorang (yang lain) seperti yang telah ia ajarkan kepada Qabil dengan tipudayanya sehingga berani Qabil melakukan pembunuhan ke atas saudaranya Habil yang disayangi oleh Nabi Allah Adam a.s.

Sabda Nabi S.A.W.: Bahawa pada suatu hari, Iblis mengadap Nabi Musa bin Imran a.s. dan berkata : Yaa NabiyuLLaah! Apabila Tuan Hamba bermunajat kepada Allah S.W.T di Bukit Tursina, hamba hendak bertaubat kepada Allah SWT, adakah (taubat) hamba diterimanya?

Maka sukacitalah Nabi Musa a.s. mendengarkan iblis yang hendak bertaubat itu lalu baginda menyanggupi permintaan iblis. Setelah tiba di Bukit Tursina, maka berdoalah baginda kepada Allah SWT memohon petunjuk. Maka datanglah Firman Allah S.W.T. : Wahai Musa, kesalahan iblis boleh Ku ampunkan dengan syarat hendaklah ia (iblis) bersujud pada kubur Nabi Adam Maka Nabi Musa a.s. pun menyampaikan firman Allah S.W.T. kepada iblis. iblis mengeluh dan berkata Wahai Nabi Musa! Semasa Adam masih hidup pun hamba tidak sudi bersujud kepadanya, inikan pula, Adam telah mati Maka iblis pun beredar.

Sabda Nabi : Bermula (tegaknya) tiang dunia ini dengan 4 perkara : (1) Dengan ilmu para ulama, (2) Dengan adilnya sekelian raja-raja, (2) Dengan kemurahan (hati) orang-orang kaya, (4) Dengan doa sekelian fakir miskin.

Maka sekiranya tidak ada ulama, nescaya binasalah sekelian orang yang jahil dan sekiranya raja-raja tidak adil, nescaya (segolongan) manusia (ibarat) memakan (segolongan) manusia yang lain sebagaimana harimau menghambat dan memakan kambing. Sekiranya (pula) tidak ada kemurahan (hati) orang-orang kaya, nescaya binasalah sekelian fakir miskin dan sekiranya tidak ada doa fakir miskin, nescaya runtuhlah langit dan bumi.

KISAH NABI IDRIS A.S. MENIKAM MATA iblis

Pada suatu hari, sedang Nabi Idris a.s. duduk menjahit bajunya, tiba-tiba berdiri di hadapan pintu rumahnya seorang lelaki memegang sebiji telur di tangannya. Katanya Ya Nabi Allah Idris! Bolehkah Tuhanmu memasukkan dunia ke dalam telur ini?

Maka Nabi Idris a.s. memandang lelaki berkenaan dan baginda terus mengecam lelaki berkenaan sebagai iblis laknatullah.

Nabi Idris A.S. bersabda: Marilah ke sini dekat denganku, tanyalah apa yang engkau kehendaki. Maka raja iblis itu pun mendekati baginda sambil mengulangi pertanyaannya : Ya Nabi Allah Idris! Bolehkah Tuhanmu memasukkan dunia ke dalam telur ini?

Sahut Nabi Allah Idris A.S. : Jangankan memasukkan dunia ini ke dalam telur sebesar ini, bahkan ke dalam jarumku yang sekecil inipun, Tuhanku Maha Berkuasa memasukkan dunia ke dalamnya Lalu dengan pantas Nabi Allah Idris A.S. pun menikam mata raja iblis dengan jarum. iblis pun terperanjat dan kesakitan lalu melarikan diri setelah menerima tandatangan Nabi Allah Idris A.S. yang telah menyebabkan ia buta sebelah matanya sehinggalah zaman kebangkitan Junjungan kita dan kekasih Allah SWT iaitu Nabi Muhammad Rasulullah S.A.W.

2008-09-23T10:31:00.000+08:00

Hadis sahih : raja iblis MENGADAP BAGINDA JUNJUNGAN BESAR NABI MUHAMMAD RASULULLAH S.A.W.

Pst pst.

2008-08-19T23:15:00.005+08:00

I haven't been updating this blog, melawat-lawat to check the tagboard pun ku inda. You have no idea how busy I have been. I barely have free time. I do have free time, but then those are the only times for me to rest. Brunei equals commitments, oh so many commitments. If you know me very well, then you would probably already know that I'm a pushover. I am the kind of person if kana suruh apa-apa pun, aku tau angguk saja.

I probably have time to spare at times, but I just can't put myself to write a decent blog post. I think I lost my mojo, you guys. I'm not Jirin the blogger anymore. I have a knack of sharing my life experiences here on my blog. Although I tend to keep the more personal stories to myself, I sometimes write about the things that make me go mental, or things that annoy me. Other times, the feminine side of me unleashes and that's when I complain about my weight.

My BSUnion colleagues and I have been helping out the Scholarship Unit at MOE for the past few weeks. So aku malar lah keluar masuk MOE atu. At one point, the clerks at the unit were like - "kau lagi wang!" or - "mua mu ganya ku liat tiap-tiap hari!". I bet sekali saja lagi ku kesana, betangisan kali durang sorang-sorang meliat muka ku ani.

One day I was on my way to exit the building kan when suddenly I heard someone do the 'pst pst' sound behind me. When you hear that sound, you automatically turn and look siapa memanggil kan? So I turned, ku liat inda jua ada orang. Sekali, 'pst pst' lagi sekali. Ku pusing, inda jua ada orang. Siapa kan mengurat aku ani ah? - I thought. Haha perasan =p. That went on until 3-4 times when I realised banarnya mana orang panggil aku, and that 'pst pst' sound was actually...

...the cleaner spraying the glass window.

I get annoyed when people ask if whatever I write here really happens to me. I sometimes get accused of making up stories. Especially that Harshi story, some people actually asked me how an earth could I have possibly came up with that. Truth is, I didn't. It truly happened!

Short

2008-08-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

There are times when we all feel really depressed and not know why we feel that way. Deep down we actually do know why, but it is probably denial that has struck our own intuition. I don't have the guts to write personal issues here on my blog, so whenever I do, it always ends up sounding vague. Yupe, this post is THIS short.

Birthday schmirthday

2008-08-05T23:52:00.005+08:00

Thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday. Those who called, those who messaged my line, those who left a message on my tag board, and to those who wrote on my Facebook wall. Although the air-plane banner was a bit too much, guys! (Oh, some might have messaged my old line which no longer exists. So I'm sorry if I didn't reply!)

Today barutah Jirin day! Haha, I have nothing else to say, really. I shall update soon, InsyaAllah.

Chin up and be happy

2008-07-25T16:38:00.007+08:00

Sometimes when I have nothing else to do, I read my old blog posts. It's nothing about being narcissistic or something like that, but I get really conscious of the pethatic things I might have said, so kalau ada yang macam inda bisai and annoying ku baca, I'd scream to myself 'WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?' but I won't delete it at the same time, because deleting a post would go against the blogging etiquette, wouldn't it?

In this blog, I might have complained how I don't have a girlfriend, or how un-laku I am, et cetera. Fact is, I don't really care. I'm in a place in my life where I'm quite comfortable the way I am. If it happens, it happens. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I am not the type to find a lady to date, I am looking for someone to bewife. I do not want to place myself in the dating arena. That may freak out the future girlfriend/wife of mine, whoever she may be. But if it does freak her out, then she's probably not the right person for me. Although I am not saying that I want to get married right now, no. I am also not saying that I would want to marry tarus the moment I meet the perfect lady. It's complicated, I know. It's hard to juggle religion with these kind of things.

I just realised how annoying it is to read people's rant about being single. I used to do it, I probably still do, so tell me if it annoys you. I don't know if I've grown out of it, but honestly, being single ok jua wah. I know this probably sounds like the single-guy's-menyamankan-hati mechanism, but honestly, it isn't. I admit, there was a stage in my life where I was in that 'YA ALLAH KURNIAKAN LAH AKU GIRLFRIEND SECEPAT MUNGKIN' phase, but that was in the past, I think so, at least.

Is this growth? Is this how it feels like thinking maturely? Have I reached it? Am I there? Hahaha.

Although please do not get offended if I have said things that might have offended you. What I'm trying to say is that being single should not be something one can be upset about. There are other importants things that we SHOULD worry about. Being upset about being single is like being upset after your nephew or niece has ripped off your favourite book, or being upset because your amah has ironed your shirt sampai bubus. These things should not necessarily upset you. Because you know it's just temporary. We need to focus on things which aren't so temporary. So, chin up and be happy.

(Haha, me? Giving advice? That's a first!)

Home, again.

2008-07-23T10:12:00.000+08:00

I might have not mentioned that I went back to UK around two weeks ago for my graduation. So yeah, anyway, I am back again. RBA flights to and from UK are full until August, BSUnit was going to send me home on August 6th, but I couldn't wait so I asked them to issue me a ticket to go home the next day. I went to Heathrow airport, to try my luck. Just in case there was a no show, then I would've been able to board the plane. But it was an all show, but I boarded the plane anyway. There was no seat, so I sat with the cabin crew di belakang. Please do not ask how, but yes, banar ni, inda ku bedusta. I was desperate, I have so many things to take care of di Brunei. I'm chairing the new scholarship students punya orientation lagi apa. I don't want my colleagues to do most of the work.

16 hours wah inda comfortable, but it was okay. The cabin crew was friendly berabis. I have to say cabin crew masa that flight paling friendly ever, and lawa-lawa at the same time. In fact, there was this Australian guy, ia jealous that I get to sit at the crew seat the entire time. The crew seat kan siring jamban, so banyak orang bawa aku cerita masa durang tunggu jamban jadi vacant. There was this person, ia kesian aku and actually offered me to sit at her seat sekajap, but I declined. Karang luan nyaman tepulang ku tidur. Aku ani kalau tidur wah, mana lagi ku ingat dunia.

Every time ada meal, I was the first one to be served. And after they finished serving, I was offered kalau aku mau makan lagi. Siuk wah. Aku kana tanya kalau aku sangal, kalau aku lapar, kalau aku mau air kah. One of stewardess actually offered me chocolate Patchi. Kalau business class mana ada tu. Screw business class! I get to see durang sibuk-sibuk di belakang atu as well. Kesian actually, durang bediri most of the time. Sikit lagi aku offer kan tolong. I swear sedikit lagi ku kan minjam uniform arah the male cabin crew. Tapi ku liat durang damit-damit badan durang, so inda ku jadi minjam. Karang sampit, kuyak pulang karang oleh ku. Kan membari malu saja tu? Next time lah kalau aku belayar aku bawa blazer merah, just in case.

Pokok nya thank you lah ah kepada sesiapa yang terlibat secara langsung dan tidak langsung. Ground staff RBA di Heathrow and Dubai pun baik. Aku baru sampai tadi pukul 9.30 pagi. Sekali balik rumah dalam pukul 11, tarus ku tidur and I just woke up around 10PM tadi.

Bahapa tah ku ni pukul 3 subuh ani? Anyways, atu batah aku inda update ah. Melawat blog ani pun ku batah sudah inda. So I'm really sorry if I have been quiet in the tag board. I didn't bring my laptop ke UK hari atu, iatah payah ku kan online. Bah, I'm going to find something to do now. Assalamualaikum.

Untitled

2008-06-25T00:21:00.003+08:00

It has been a long time since I updated my blog. I am still sick I think, well it's not as bad, I'd like to think that I'm recovering but then yesterday my left foot started to ache like crazy. And for no apparent reason. So I'm currently limping when I walk. But stay positive wah ah? Baik ni esok. Esok inda lagi selesma, inda lagi sakit kaki, Amin.

I haven't been updating because I have been really busy. Plus, I haven't got much to tell jua bah. I mean if I update everyday sasak jua kamu tu because I would end up telling you paning I am, how selesma kan mati I am inda mau beranti selesmanya, bla bla bla; things like that. Also, I don't have a crazy neighbour anymore whom I can bitch about.

I hate how SOME things are expensive here. I don't exactly remember what, but whipped cream is 7 freaking dollars. How crazy is that? I understand that it is imported from god knows where, but how hard is it to produce whipped cream locally? Well maybe we don't have lots of cow farms but we own tonnes in Australia, don't we? I don't know actually. One of these day I may just open up a whipped cream factory and call it Syarikat Whipped Cream Awang Jirin dan anak-anak serta menantu serta cucu-cicit serta rakan-rakan serta amah serta... sambung tia oleh kamu. I swear, liat saja esok lusa.

Things are either expensive or aku karit. You tell me. I'll try to update lagi soon. Keyword: TRY. Hahah! Assalamualaikum.

Bad sense of smell

2008-06-16T06:00:00.002+08:00

I claim I have a very bad sense of smell. Well, I don't know actually, but I think I do. But of course I'm not entirely odour-blind. I think it's the side effect or long-run effect for having sinusitis, I'm not sure. But right now, being selesma, I can't smell a thing. Which is an advantage if I'm a room yang ada orang melapaskan gas kantut.

Demam tahunan

2008-06-14T23:32:00.006+08:00

Last year, exactly around this time of year, I was damam. The kind of damam where I get a runny and blocked nose, itchy and watery eyes, non-stop sneezes, sakit kepala, flu and batuk. Now, damam tia ku lagi. Macam bulih lagi annual damam ku ah. Exactly at the same time lagi tu. I think it's the sudden weather change. Whatever it is, pokoknya is that this time it is worse; I have never been this damam before. I couldn't sleep for two days because kepala ku paning.

I went to the nearest clinic, which was at Anggerek Desa. I came at around 9am. At the clinic kan, it clearly says that you will be served in approximately 120 minutes. It has a board that says "Harap maklum: Hari ini 3 doktor bertugas. Masa menunngu berjumpa doktor ialah 120 minit". Kan menangis wah ku membaca the notice board. Sengaja durang buat in 'minutes' so that it doesn't seem so long. Crazy! It was the whole London-Brunei flight once again. Everyone was complaining. The two women behind me couldn't stop whining and bitching. Aku rasa kan menyampuk but asi-asi jua tu? I wanted so badly to join them bitch about the slow service. Gigit saja bibir. Apa boleh buat.

After exactly 120 minutes, my name was finally called. In my mind, I stood on the chair and screamed out: 'FINALLY! ALHAMDULILLAH!', and celebrated like crazy. In reality inda pulang cematu. But seriously, that was how I felt. So anyway, the doctor prescribed me with Panadol, selesma-relieving pills, and a steroid-containing nose spray. The nose spray is supposed to 'cure' my allergies to things like dust and things sewaktu dengannya. It contains steroid, so if you see me next time with a muscular nose, jangan ketawakan aku.

Kalau bebini siuk ni damam-damam ani. Kana manja-manjai. Makan kana suap. Cawan pun kana pigangkan, baju kana pasangkan, kana mandi kan. Dui, KALAU! Haha!

Bah kan makan ubat ku dulu ah. Assalamualaikum!

I am home!

2008-06-11T22:03:00.008+08:00

I think it is mandatory for me to make an 'I-am-finally-home' post. So yes, I am finally home, after around 9 months being away. I arrived at around 11.30am this morning and the moment I stepped out of the airplane, I could smell the humidity of Brunei's air. It feels good to be home.

My flight was not too bad, but it wasn't great either. I mean, siapa jua kesiukan 16 jam memaloi dalam kapal kan? The plan was to sleep the whole 16 hours, but I couldn't. I did manage to sleep though only for a few hours. The Heathrow-Dubai flight was not full so I had three seats to myself. The Dubai-Brunei flight was full berabis, so I had to sit with my uncle's maid. I was a little dissapointed masa my Dubai-Brunei flight because a male flight attendant covered my area; boring. I swear I wanted to move to the section covered by the attractive stewardess.

Considering how uncomfortable long haul flights are, I guess malas tah orang kan ingau how they look when they're sleeping, asal saja tidur, nyaman tah hati sudah tu. Ada yang tidur langap-langap, rasa kan ku tutup mulutnya. Ada yang bangkang-bangkang, layah-layah. Semua ada. Ada yang bising bekuruh; kan ku sumbat kan stukin saja inda. Ada jua yang pandai melipat badan sampai muat ia bekumpal in the small space. Cemana kan tu? I tried to but I failed. Sakit saja badan ku; eh di Brunei tah nanti saja ku tidur eh.

Mana tah jua ku inda dapat tidur. Satu: uncomfortable ah. Dua: ada tia jua kanak-kanak ikut belayar. Kanak-kanak nya ani inda lagi alang-alang. Sekali nya menangis, macam kanak-kanak kana rasuk jin bunyi nya. My personal entertainment unit inda baik so I didn't watch any movies. So I killed time by playing Sudoku. Aku beli buku puzzle Sudoku at the Heathrow terminal earlier on. I might have looked like a geek solving those puzzles, but screw it. Malas ku ingau. The puzzles inda pulang abis oleh ku, I got bored after 10 puzzles. Not to mention the Muhibah magazine, khatam ku sudah tu. Safety precautions leaflet atu pun aku apal sudah. Script stewardess yang tuan-tuan dan puan-puan bla bla atu; pun ku apal. Keboringan ku bah. Kan gila saja ku inda.

In my opinion, the meal portions that they serve inflight is getting less and lesser every time. I love makanan kapal, but it was relatively sedikit. I mean, kucing pun inda kanyang kali kalau ku bari makan. Capi-capi jua tu mun 4-5 suap ganya sekali abis tia. Kucing pun mengamuk wah ni. (Malar jua pasal kucing saja aku ah!) Well, that's just an opinion of a person yang inda pandai kanyang yakni orang-orang yang berbadan besar. I did see some people inda te-abis kan the food though. I swear I felt like scolding them. Next time kamu belayar, and kalau kamu inda makan, always ask the stewardess if I am on board. If I am, suruh ia antar ke tempat duduk ku. Ingat tu ah! Always consider me. ALWAYS CONSIDER ME!

I am really hungry at the moment, I want to eat somewhere. Siapa mau bawa aku jalan? Any takers?

AKU DI BRUNEI! Haha, baru tah kan sink in. Hello everybody.

It's a sticker, love.

2008-06-03T01:18:00.003+08:00

Last week, I went to the post office to buy some stamps. Right after I purchased them, I went to an empty counter to stick the stamp onto my envelope. There I was looking all stupid at the counter, licking the back of the stamp to make it stick to the envelope. It wouldn't stick. Sekali an old woman came up to me and told me that the stamp need not be licked; "It has a seal which can be peeled off, it's a sticker, love." Sticker rupanya! I thanked her for telling me that. If she didn't, God knows sampai bila tah kan ku tepikir that it was a sticker.

Tapi malu ku sedikit, because when I turned, I saw a couple of bini-bini lanjut usia mengetawakan aku. In my defense, the last time I had to use stamps - saliva was still the popular choice of adhesive for stamps.

Anyway, I have been busy packing my stuff. I never realised I had so much junk. In my first year, I bought this massive Michelin-like jacket. So tadi when I was packing, I couldn't help wonder to myself: what the hell was I thinking when I bought this hideous, massive, Michelin-like jacket? I mean sudahtah I appear Michelin-physiqued, why emphasise lagi with the jacket? First year tah banar ah aku atu. Sakai!

Sudah ku ali-ali kan baju yang inda lagi ku pakai, banyak rupanya. It amounted to two big plastic bags worth of clothes that I don't even wear. I'm going to give it away to charity tomorrow.

My room looks really lapang. I've taken down my kek batik-looking curtain. I've positioned my bed and study table at its respective original position. I've emptied my wardrobe which once collapsed. Tunggu hari bulan kan balik saja tinggal.

I am going home soon. I have learned a lot in the span of two years while I'm here. Back in the day, in terms of doing chores, I was an irresponsible child who depended on maids a lot. Sampai maggi pun minta buatkan arah amah. I guess I believe in how karma works, it's not karma exactly, it's kuasa Tuhan. If before I was dependent on maids, now I know how a maid would feel. I hope I will still sustain this kind of mind set and attitude once I'm in Brunei.

Oh, do not get me started on maids. I am sure everyone has their fair share of funny amah stories! I guess I'll post my share of funny amah stories next time. I'm feeling knackered at the moment.

Ka Izzah, sorry for the delay in posting this poster! To everyone else, please come to this garage sale. Inda kamu rugi. I went to their previous one last summer. Orang sebalah rumah durang dalam sehari atu ada kali sepuluh kali ia mengaga. Inda lagi alang-alang tu mengaga, bawanya segala cucu-cicit nya sama amah-amah nya. Inda ku bedusta. Bah, kalau bulih, bawa seluruh kampong. Ketua kampong pun suruh turut. Baik menyewa bas.

You know you're not khusyuk when...

2008-05-22T01:49:00.009+08:00

You don't know how many rakaats you have done.
You're wondering what's in the fridge.
You're wondering who's going to win on American Idol.
Your mind is still on about how lame the current AF is.
You're rushing to finish.
You're reciting bacaan tahyat akhir in the first rakaat, and reciting Al-Fatihah during tahyat akhir instead.
You suddenly realise you have skipped rukuk and tarus sujud.
You're reciting Sami'Allah Huliman Hamidah semasa duduk diantara dua sujud.
You're praying 4 rakaats for subuh prayer.
You suddenly thought of Kudil and Kasum.

The things you TER think about during prayer can be so random berabis sekali dalam dunia! These random thoughts could have popped during our free time kah. Time mandi kah. Time masak kah. Time kan tidur kah. But no, it just had to come during prayer time. We all like to blame the devil. But, is it really?

I can't believe the stupid setan kenal Kudil and Kasum sampai durang whisper their names in my ear! Like hello, this is the United Kingdom, setan sini mana kenal Kudil and Kasum, durang kenal Katherine Tate saja. I think when I flew from Brunei kemari, ada personal setan ku ikut asi-asi. Stupid setan really clingy one!

I should be doing work. See, my personal stupid-clingy-random setan even made me blog instead!

Ibu jari ku luka

2008-05-15T02:30:00.008+08:00

It just occurred to me that my neighbour might have been acting the other day. We'll see dalam sebulan dua ani kalau banar kah inda ia betian. Kalau ia banar-banar betian, dalam masa 9 bulan, aku sendiri mau meliat anak nya melasit dari ehem nya atu. Kalau ia belakun wah, steady tah tu ia belakun; kalah pelakon Malaysia si Wan Maimunah atu.

(Si Wan Maimunah ani kesian ni kalau ia belakun, macam banar. Sudah nya membari kesian, banar-banar tu membari kesian; membari rawan ati meliat. Tapi sudah character nya jahat, membari kan menampar. Hebat jua sudah tu ah lakonan nya.)

Anyway, I just had dinner. I prepared my self with two dishes; ayam masak merah, and grated carrot betumis. Nah. Iatah kamu inda beguna aku. Pandai masak wah ni si Jirin ani. Hahaha, eksen ku bah. Inda ku berapa pandai masak dih. Anyway, it's been a while since I had ayam masak merah. Macam bekurun lamanya ku inda makan ayam masak merah. Iatah masa sudah siap masak tadi, inda ku sabar-sabar kan makan. Kalau kana rakam wah aku makan tadi ah, nampak kali kamu aku makan macam anak Africa. Macam orang baru pernah bejumpa makanan nya orang tua.

Right now I feel so full, even words can't describe. I feel so full that I feel like I don't want to eat ever again. But of course, this is just temporary, liat saja dalam 4-5 jam. Ada tu ku membuka esbok.

While I was chopping bawang tadi, tekarat ku ibu jari ku. Inda pulang sampai lakap, atu labih jua tu. But it's quite deep actually. I don't know where my eyes were looking, what my mind was thinking. Angau inda jua angau. Lalah inda jua lalah. Antah, inda ku tau. Anyway, I panicked for a little bit pasal suak-suak darah keluar. I could hear the thoughts in my head scaring me: boh mesti bejahit ni Jirin! But apakan, luan jua kan bejahit. Masih pulang bedarah up till this very moment. But I know it's not that deep enough to bawa ke hospital. I bet kalau ku bawa ke hospital kan, lakak-lakak ni nurse ketawa meliat luka ku ani. Dui, sekadar ani pun kan kau bawa kemari wang? Mun cematu tepaksa tah ku membawa anak ku ke hospital ni jua wang; ia kana gigit nyamuk kelamarin.

I'm thinking bah. Have I been to the emergency room with a sekadar purpose? Masa umur 4 tahun; patah kaki; eh inda sekadar tu eh. Masa umur 7 tahun; terabah sampai dagu luka sampai nampak tulang, eh inda sekadar tu eh.

Batah ku bepikir but I think pernah ku ke emergency tapi sekadar purpose ku. Aku atu kurik telinga, sekali somehow I lost balance and tehandat tia badan ku ke dinding and hence pengurik telinga in my ear atu tecucuk ke dalam. Sekali bedarah. Panic ku tarus. Tapi yang cali nya aku pasang CD and play music. Kira testing lah tu ah; tuli kah inda. Nasib inda tuli. Tapi aku bawa ke emergency saja lah, just in case.

When I arrived at the emergency department, it's a formality to isi borang kan. So I was filling in the forms when the nurse asked me what my emergency was. Then, I told her, long story short: aku kurik telinga sekali bedarah. Sekali the nurse cakap, "berabis jua kau kurik telinga wang."

Sedikit lagi ku gigit nurse ah. But malas ku. Nurse nya atu tua, basar and scary. Mesti respek orang tua. Inda kuasa melawan orang tua. Eh, I'm going to stop here. It's hard to type with an injured left thumb. Later.

Scrub scrub kepala otak mu

2008-05-13T06:24:00.002+08:00

I have never had a fixed facial wash or what not. I always change every time. Pokoknya I just can't be bothered. So I would buy different ones every time it runs out. Sometimes I'd buy facial wash, other times I'd buy facial scrub, but never at the same time. Just as long as it does its purpose, then I'm fine with it. Cuba tah muka ani inda payah menghasilkan minyak, sanang jua hidup ku.

So the other day abis wah pencuci muka ku. So I went to buy this facial scrub, Clearasil. When I arrived home, tarus ku pakai. I spread it all over my two palms and gosok seluruh muka. Sekali kan some of the scrub particles got stuck in my left eye. I didn't bother awal-awal, because usually tekeluar sendiri after a while. But siap ku menyuci muka, it was still in my eye. I couldn't open my eyes, I freaked out a little bit. I tried everything I could. Inda jua mau. There was a customer hotline number at the back of the facial scrub bottle; I wanted to call and complain. But that would've been bida. So, of course I didn't.

After around 10-15 minutes baru tah mau keluar. Stress ku memikirkan. Sekali when I told my house mate, she told me facial scrub ani andang inda bulih di gosok seluruh muka; kawasan pipi saja. I rushed to the toilet and observed the packaging: "Avoid eyes and mouth". THEY SHOULD HAVE USED BIG CAPITAL LETTERS! (Haha, remember that episode of Friends where Ross reacted like that? Sigh, rindu ku kan Friends.)

Moral of the story - facial scrub shouldn't be called facial scrub if it's not supposed to be used on the whole face. The dictionary defines 'face' as 'the front part of the head, from the forehead to the chin'. Hence, a facial scrub should be used at all parts contained on the front part if the head! It should be called cheek scrub kah instead. Bodoh punya inventor. Kalau ku bawa ke mahkamah ni wah, aku ni manang kes ani. Ganya malas ku kan cari kelayi.

Jiran oh jiran

2008-05-12T19:51:00.006+08:00

Jiran oh jiran, kenapa kau memajal? (In the tune of lagu bangau oh bangau.) Remember my annoying neighbour? Well, we had a civil conversation earlier today. She rang the door bell and I answered the door. I was puzzled at first, because sunyi bah rumah time atu. Indakan luan sunyi pun ia kan komplen kali? Gila ni nyangku. Sikit lagi ku ke dapur mengambil pisau.

It went something like this.

62: Hello, I'm here to talk about the noise.
KH: Today? Because it's noon, and I can barely hear any noise.
62: No, not exactly now. But any other times. It just gets to us. My husband and I have work in the morning and we have to wake up really early. Cemani, bekerajasama lah ketani ah.
KH: Alright.
62: If it's the weekend, by all means, you can hear music loudly, you can make noise all you want. But during the weekdays, please don't, I beg you.
KH: Bah, karang ku rista arah house mates ku.
62: During the weekdays, you can, but up till 10pm. Because we really need to sleep, you know? We have to wake up really early in the morning. I'm always worrying if I'm able to sleep at night, you know? Beuri lagi aku ani jenisnya.
KH: I understand. Aku pun keturunan beuri.
62: Aku lagi betian. I really need to sleep.
KH: Ah betian kau rupanya. (Padantah moody kataku dalam hati.)
62: Awu. I've been a student before too, I understand student life.
KH: Alright, I'll tell my house mates. We'll try to keep it down.
62: If you really do need to, you can do so downstairs. Because if it's upstairs, it is where our bedroom is, and we can really hear the noise.
KH: Ok, sure, no worries. I'll inform my house mates.
62: Alright. Terima kasih wang ah.
KH: Good luck with the baby, mudahan murah beranak.

Dalam bahasa orang puteh pulang entirely kami becakap. Tapi aku translate dalam bahasa Brunei here and there, biar dramatic sedikit.

The thing is, andang nya orang Brunei ani becakap gawah-gawah; kalau becakap mesti jua nyaring. Cemana tah ni? Kesian ku pulang kan kedia atu. Ia atu lagi merayu dangan mua sepusin. Dui malaiku. Betian tia lagi. Bebisik tah kami ni kalau kan becakap. Kalau kan mendangar lagu pun damit-damit. Lagu yang labuk-labuk pun inda bulih ni. Mesti jua lagu yang alus-alus bunyinya. Apa bulih buat. Ani tah consequences nya kalau berumah terrace.

I might have planned to give them a poisoned cheese cake before. I might have planned to cari kelayi sama durang before. But pikir punya pikir, kesian jua ah orang betian kan ku nyaya. Inda kuasa bah ah? Unless ia bedusta, inda ku bepirir dua kali.

Selipar ku jangan di jangkau

2008-05-11T05:13:00.004+08:00

Something random came to my mind tadi. It is about the fact that is not a very wise idea to use expensive shoes or slippers to the mosque in Brunei, well probably not just in Brunei, but everywhere else jua. I remember masa umrah dulu di Makkah pun mesti taruh selipar kiri tampat lain, selipar kanan tampat lain. Kalau inda, kana curi. Aku malar sudah ku kana kasut/selipar ku kana curi di masjid. It is nothing new. Sometimes lurus tia bagas bejalan sebelum sembahyang jumat atu, so you can't help it kadang-kadang.

But seriously, it's a masjid. Of all places to mencuri, di masjid wah orang suka mencuri selipar. Maybe these people just think that it is the thing to do when they see selipar yang bisai di luar masjid. Dalam pikirannya: eh bisai jua ah selipar ani, baik tah ku bawa balik kali. Buduh tu pemikiran cematu atu. Inda ia bepikir kali siapa-siapa tuan punya selipar atu. Orang tua kah, orang susah kah, orang timpang kah, orang yang suka mental arah blog nya kah.

By now, I think almost semua lelaki pun pernah merasai kana curi selipar, or at least pernah mendangar cerita pasal selipar orang kana curi. It's inevitable. In my kampong, almost every week ada tu ku liat orang bejalan pakai kaki ayam ke kereta lapas siap sembahyang Jumat, and I'll be thinking: been there my friend. Di Brunei atu lagi panas, so to jalan pakai kaki ayam to the car is torture.

Kalau kan ke masjid, pakai saja selipar yang murah; selipar jipun. Kalau tedapat selipar yang bisai, yang mahal, jangan tah si tayi kan berani memakai ke masjid. Unless andang kita kan beniat kan bersedakah selipar, silakan. Tapi jangan jua; kadang-kadang selipar jipun pun kana curi ani wah. Cemani kali baik solution nya, kunci pakai mangga:

Back when I was younger, aku pemalas kan sembahyang Jumat. There's that saying that if you miss sembahyang Jumat dua kali berturut-turut dengan sengaja, hukumnya ibarat murtad (Nauzubillah). So back then, my mindset was like: ok this week inda sembahyang, next week sembahyang; asal saja inda dua kali turut-turut aku miss sembahyang Jumat. Buduh kan? Padantah inda berkat sampai kana curi selipar. Haha, awu andang nya; time dulu tu, time ancing. Alum lagi pandai membezakan barang baik atau buruk. Baik bawa beastagapar!

Inda pulang selipar ku kana curi hari Jumat lapas. It's just one of my random thoughts once again. Later. Salam!

Ai I Kam Som Tam

2008-05-09T06:51:00.005+08:00

I didn't update this blog not because aku menyamal, not because I wanted to quit blogging or anything. I have been really busy. Actually, I just got back from Manchester to settle some stuff. I am so tired. I can't even describe how tired I am. I just wish that a tukang urut can just appear in my room right now. Please. This will be the perfect time to play three wishes. (I wished and I wished, inda jua ada. Boring.)

It is getting really warm here in the United Kingdom, even at night. See this is the thing with me, panas salah, sajuk pun salah. No, that is not just me. It's a typical human thing. I'm sure everyone feels like that. Inda pandai besyukur nya old people. If the weather could talk wah, it would scream in my face right now: APA LAGI KAU MAU KAN! Di bari batis, mau paha.

To Apip; kalau kau malar kana urat oleh lelaki gurka, aku malar kana pikir gurka. Inda pulang ku offended kalau aku kana pikir gurka. Durang cool kali ah, tahan kana jamur and rugged. Malar sudah orang gurkha senyum arah ku. Aku senyum balik lah. I mean, that's the least I can do. Inda kan aku mental and teriak: "Eh talor aku orang Brunei wah merati kau?"

Speaking of which, one time I was at Empire punya reception kan. There was this Indonesian lady receptionist. She was telling me how I looked an awful lot like her brother back in Jakarta. She even showed me his passport picture which she had in her wallet. I agree pulang; ada jua imbas-imbas nya macam aku. Sekali aku tanya apa namanya. Guess what? His name is Soni Toyota! Bulih! Macam nada nama lain wah ia ah kana namakan brand elektronik campur nama brand kereta. Imagine ku apa nama adi beradinya yang lain.

People say that there are six other people on this earth who looks like you. So that's seven people including yourself. I've found one of mine and he's in Indonesia. I just hope that Jessica Alba won't confuse me with those six other guys. That's one of my biggest fears.

1. Khairul Hazirin, Brunei Darussalam.
2. Soni Toyota, Indonesia.
3. Unknown.
4. Unknown.
5. Unknown.
6. Unknown.
7. Unknown.

Oh, I was in Manchester for an interview untuk degree. Not because of the other thing. Malas ku ingau. Thanks to Aidah for bringing me around!

I'm signing out. Salam.

Being fat is a sport

2008-05-02T06:43:00.004+08:00

Brooke White is probably not the best singer among the remaining American Idol finalists, but she's pretty. She isn't exactly hot berabis either, but she's just that extra special something which I can't seem to point out. So when she was voted out, I was a little bummed. I don't mind pulang if ia keluar, but for her to be voted out before Jason Castro is just stupid. What is up with the dude's hair, seriously? Kalau kamu suka ia, don't start hating on me though!

Speaking of hair, aku begunting tadi patang. Almost gundul kepalaku; grade 4. Mainly because whenever I have a haircut, stress ku ilang. When I left the saloon tadi, I swear, my head felt so light. It felt so light, I almost felt headless for a little bit. I can't have my hair longer than a few inches, to me panjang tu sudah; and that's when I start to get all stressed out. I guess my stress points is arah rambutku. Unlike most guys, I don't like to keep my hair long. I don't get it.

I barely spent 5 minutes at the barber shop. Sekajap wah, then siap tia. Unlike in Brunei, a haircut may last around 20-30 minutes; because it includes kana urut kepala, kana urut belakang, kana cukur kan segala misai, segala janggut. Siuk bah! All that for at least four dollars. I miss Indian barbers. On second thoughts, I think macam underpaid jua ah those barbers. Nanti tah. I shall start paying an extra dollar. Haha, karit aku ah, seringgit ganya.

For the past few days, I have disciplined myself very well actually. I could resist not logging into Facebook or MSN for a couple of days; which eventually made me do more work. But, but! Somehow I started watching How I Met Your Mother two days ago and I am hooked, so the TV show is my new Facebook/MSN equivalent. I do work pulang but only when I'm waiting for an episode to load. Hey, at least I am doing work!

I visited Brudirect yesterday and apparently Brunei is the fattest ASEAN nation. We have the highest obesity rate among the other countries. I believe I am partly responsible for that. Ooops, my bad! I am sorry, Brunei Darussalam! Oh man, If only being fat is a sport; then we would get more gold medals masa SEA Games. (I'm currently listening to SEA Games songs. Su! Kan! SEA! Ole Ole Brunei!)

Kekroll Bijirin

2008-04-28T06:44:00.005+08:00

Back in primary school, other than Khairul Hazirin, I was also known as Kekroll Bijirin. I think I remember being really annoyed whenever I was called by that name. Even my form teacher called out that name when she was doing the daily register. Tapi karang ani, ku pikir punya pikir, kenapa tah aku mental sangat ah dulu atu? Creative jua tu bah orang atu. At least the name was not insulting.

Speaking of insulting names, in secondary school, a couple of seniors dulu called me Doraemon. Not because I had cool magical gadgets in my pocket, not because I had a friend who looked like Nobita, neither was it because I used to wear Doraemon shirts. But because kan Doraemon ani bulat and labu; that's why. Hahaha. It was humiliating. Can you imagine what that can do to a 13 year old who is udergoing puberty? Oh, the trauma.

Who among you, by any chance, owns a business which sells cakerolls for Raya? I will be truly honoured if you would name a cakeroll after me, calling it Kekroll Bijirin in hopes that it would be the new Tapak Kaki Kuda. Inda lagi orang mencari Tapak Kaki Kuda tu. People will be looking for Kekroll Bijirin masa beraya from house to house. Because everyone wants a piece of Kekroll Bijirin. Hahaha perasan. Hahaha, Ali, sorry eh, aku curi kau punya Alicake tagline.

Speaking of Kek Tapak Kaki Kuda, macam-macam sudah ah masa ani. I remember ada this one house we visited masa raya, they were serving a gigantic and enormous Tapak Kaki Kuda cakeroll. But apparently, its name was different: Tapak Kaki Gajah! Hahaha, creative wah orang Brunei ani! I'm imagining wah. If there was a Kekroll Bijirin, how would it look like? It's going to be thick and fat that's for sure. It's got to have chocolate. Since part of its name is bijirin, maybe campur sedikit crushed corn flakes.

HOMAIGAT! WHAT THE HELL AM I ON ABOUT! PATUTNYA BUAT KERAJA BAH KU NI!

Even Prince thought so

2008-04-22T23:14:00.013+08:00

It was a nice day today; unlike yesterday, it was sunny. I don't usually have class on Tuesdays but I had to go to the school library to do some research for my essay. On my way to school, I saw this hot-from-far-away girl who I was about to pass in the next minute or so. In my head, Prince punya lagu 'Most Beautiful Girl In The World' was playing and to my eyes the girl was walking in slow motion with her long straight hair swishing in the air.

Sekali as I passed her, she's not just hot from far away; she's also hot from two steps away. At that time, she was just telling her friend (who she was walking with), "There is just no decent guy that exists. Please, for once, I want to meet a decent guy, you know."

So I turned and tapped her back, "Hey, I can't help but overhear your little comment. I mean, I'm not saying I am your definition of decent, but maybe you could see and judge over lunch or dinner?"

If you fell for that, then you probably do not know me. Of course I didn't have the guts to say that. Of course it was all in my head. Tecakap pun ku inda kali. I'd just probably end up embarrassing myself. We were going separate directions anyway, and I was on my way to school to do research after all. Well, actually, at one point, it was to stalk the hot girl on one hand, and to do essay research on the other hand. Hmmm. Cemana ni ah? But by the time I looked back, there was no hot girl anymore. So, essay research it is. Haha, I was just kidding about the stalking by the way. I mean, I've got better things to do kali ah; like Facebook-ing or blogging, haha!

She was Asian by the way. She looked Filipino but she didn't have a Tagalog accent. She could pass as a Bruneian actually. She almost looked like Camile Velasco from American Idol Season 3. Or maybe I was just imagining. I probably was. Because last night I just saw a video of Camile's version of Alicia Keys 'Noone' on her personal Youtube channel; which got me all angau for the rest of the night.

God knows if there even was a hot girl who passed me or not. There better be eh! Sekali tau-tau I was just imagining. Boh cemana ni, I don't know what's real and what's not anymore! I think I need help. Siapa tau numbur telipun Ee Ah Meng? Dr. Phil Brunei kali ah! God, I am so dramatic. Why am I not on Oprah, God knows.

Stupid leg cramp

2008-04-15T07:31:00.006+08:00

Have you ever had a cramp on you calf while you are sleeping? Aku pernah. Tadi pagi masa aku bangun tidur. It was the worst feeling someone could ever get, especially when you are sleeping. I was sleeping! I mean, if I was jogging, tantu jua! If aku kana bubut anjing tantu jua. Ani masa tidur wah kaki ku te-krem ah! How much more random can that get? Imagine kamu shopping di kadai sekali tarus-tarus kana tampar. That's exactly the same thing. Well, maybe not exactly, but you get what I mean.

That was not the first time it happened. The same thing happened last year. The stupid calf cramp woke me up and I screamed my ass off. Inda pulang batah sakitnya. I just couldn't move for a couple of minutes and it hurt really bad. Macam kan putus wah urat kaki ah rasanya. Sumpah! Inda ku bedusta.

Sekali kan becerita tah ku arah house mate ku how kaki ku te-krem masa tidur.

"Kaki ku krem wah tadi masa tidur."
"Eh iakah? Cemana bulih atu?"
"Antah, inda ku tau kenapa. Sakit ah, sampai teriak-teriak ku jua."
"Aah pasal kesakitan tah kau teriak-teriak atu."
"Oh, tedangar kau rupanya. Aku atu mengarik kamu."
"Mana ku tau. Pikir ku kau menyanyi labang-labang wah. Kau jua selalu labang-labang menyanyi dapan laptop mu."

A leg cramp is a pain that comes from a muscle in the leg. It is due to a muscle spasm which is when a muscle contracts too hard. It usually occurs in one of the calf muscles, below and behind a knee. The small muscles of the feet are sometimes affected.

A cramp pain typically lasts a few minutes. In some cases it lasts just seconds, but in some cases it can last up to 10 minutes. The severity of the pain varies. The muscle may remain tender for up to 24 hours after a leg cramp. Leg cramps usually occur when you are resting - most commonly at night when in bed. They may wake you from sleep. It can become a distressing condition if your sleep is regularly disturbed. These leg cramps are more common in older people.

So it commonly happens to older people. I'M ONLY TWENTY! Aku baru jua dua puluh tahun umurku. Eh mengalih ku eh. Berehat ku dulu. Bye.

Have a Jirin day

2008-04-13T23:16:00.008+08:00

Quite a number of people have asked me whether my header says 'Jirin Day' or not. It doesn't banarnya, haha! The supposedly 'DAY' is actually 587 in jawi. 587 is like some lame personal number of mine. It's my birthday actually, I was born on the 5th of the 8th, 1987. Hence, that's 5-8-87. But in 587, the 8 ada sabdu. So pakai sekali saja. Inda payah dua buting. Actually my cousin came up with that, except that she was born a day after me, so her number is 687. This was like when we were kids, so being the copy cat that I was, aku ikut-ikut lah. (I even ikut-ikut ia makan appetite enhancing vitamins; which I have blogged about before.)

Awu, she was born a day after me. My elder sister, on the other hand, was born on the same day two years earlier. Some family planning that was! We have been celebrating our birthdays together the past two decades. Thing is, adik ku yang hari jadi nya menyalat bulan 11, ikut-ikutan tia jua kana sambut bulan lapan; turut tia jua kana bari hadiah, kana bari usin. Tapi sudah ia hari jadi, mana orang ingat kan kami. Hahaha!

Kalau boleh, nanti I want to have all my kids born in August. Even more, kalau boleh, I want them all born on 5th August. To my future wife whoever you are: jangan pressure ah. Family planning shouldn't be too hard to handle. You have been warned. Jangan sudah kawin karang komplen-komplen.

Oh, you know what? Me and my sister's IC numbers punya difference is approximately 10000. So in the span of two years, from August 1985 to August 1987, 10000 kids were born. That's a part of the nation's census you never knew of. Some trivia!

I'll make a new header one of these days. It's getting old. Anyway, I just wanted to clear out the whole 'Have a Jirin day' boohaki on my header. Since we're on it, have a Jirin day, y'all! Whatever that means!

Midnight jog

2008-04-11T10:07:00.014+08:00

I just got home. The freakiest thing had just happened to me tadi. I just got home from my friend's place. If I am to compare the walking distance, I think its like from Airport Berakas to Maktab Sains Jalan Muara. It's not that far, but mengalih jua kalau bejalan. So, I decided to jog. Supaya capat sampai.

Baik jua aku pakai ~~snickers~~ sneakers (Thank you Anonymous for the spelling correction, you're the bomb). When I decided to jog atu was when I was like twenty steps away from my friend's house, so I was dapan rumah orang when I did all the stretching. If I saw someone stretching outside my house, I'd say eh gila kali orang ani; but I don't care. Aku inda bawa ear phone and aku inda mau bored masa jalan kaki balik.

So aku jogging lah ni. Jogging punya jogging; inda sadar; sedikit lagi kan sampai. Kapus-kapus, I was. Ada ku liat bench dari jauh. Makin laju ku belusir supaya aku dapat berehat sekajap. Sudah sampai arah bench, atu nyaman jubur ku duduk arah bench atu. Rehat sekajap. Rehat seminit. At that very moment, the bench felt like the most comfortable thing ever, sampai aku rasa kalah katil nyamannya, I swear. Andang jua kan tu, namanya mengalih. Like kalau time lapar, makanan inda nyaman pun macam makanan dari syurga rasanya.

Sekali apanah. Aku tekajut wah when suddenly I heard someone snore next to me. Takut ku menoleh. Pikir ku antu. Rupanya orang homeless! Ia tidur arah bench ah. He was wearing baju hitam segala. It's malam, mana inda ku nampak. Good thing aku inda gigiran; because in normal circumstances I would normally be. I did make a shocked noise though, but I didn't wake the homeless man up. By now aku takut sudah ni. Mana tahu ia marah aku terbangunkan ia dari tidur. So I quickly jogged away with my mind shouting out: "I so have to blog about this."

So lesson is learnt.

1. Jangan jogging kalau inda buat proper stretching. Inda pedah-pedah tu kapus-kapus macam babi sasak nafas.

2. Kalau kan tidur di luar, jangan pakai baju hitam. Kalau boleh pakai baju flourescent. Or wear something which stands out. I don't know, maybe pakai costume clown or something? So that I know that you're right there. (What the hell! I'd be freaking out if I saw a clown sleep outdoors in the middle of the night!)

I know you all may be thinking weird jua eh si Jirin ani jogging tangah-tangah malam. But banar nya aku gagas kan bekamih di rumah. That was just my fancy way of telling the story. To think about it, sekadar jua tu ah what happened ah. Inda jua payah simpan dalam blog kali ah. But I don't want to erase what I've been typing out. Oh well.

Thank you to Beb and Umi for visiting me, Nis and Rabz in Kent! It was fun hanging out with kamu. Beb, I am missing your flapjacks like berabis sekali dalam dunia.

Oh by the way, it snowed a few days ago. Yes, it snowed in April. Tabal lagi tu snow nya. For England to snow in April is like someone to bejual durian when it's not musim durian. It's April and it's still cold. Global warming apa ni. It's more like global cooling. Oh shit! That is like the lamest thing like ever (the global cooling 'joke'). Oh shit! That's just the gayest thing ever! (The like like part.)

Aku mau durian awal ani jua! Time to look for something in the house that's the closest to being a durian. You should make do with what you've got. So imagine saja ada durian. Bah, bye. Mencari tah ku ni barang yang rasanya atau usulnya atau baunya macam durian. Asalamualaikum. This has been a long ass random pasal nada apa-apa post. I shall congratulate you for reaching the end of this post.

(By the way, the closest thing I can find is my orange shirt. Macam isi durian kuning usulnya. I shall sleep with it now. Mudahan tah aku mimpi aku makan durian. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.)

Be Konfaiden

2008-04-05T19:32:00.004+08:00

I've submitted in my work. Man, it's a good feeling! When I submitted my work, I swear I felt much lighter. I guess having to worry about work does add a few pounds.

I've ignored my laundry to do work. I didn't sleep for almost three days. I had an energy stimulating drink to keep me up. I had 6 bottles in the span of three days. I think I'm becoming immune to it. So yeah, my room was so full of laundry, I had to move to my house mate's room for space. Erman, I've been doing work in your room. Siuk tah Brunei ah?

For one thing, my room is small. Not just that, even my study table is small. My house mate's room is two times bigger. His study table is big as well. Macam meja guru besar sekolah ugama. Even kalau aku melimpang atas meja nya ani pun aku muat. Ironically, he's the smallest one in the house and he gets the biggest table. I'm the biggest one in the house and I get the smallest table? Where is the fairness in this world? Haha, just kidding.

I was just reading this other male blogger's posts and he was complaining about how fat he is. I was like, do I sound like this? Man, if I do, then I sound like a girl. But that isn't the point. I think I have made it clear that why I wanted to lose weight was pasal bini-bini anyway, not because I want to fit into a size S. My reason is stupid, STUPID! I know.

It only occured to me how pessimistic I am. I always say how I am inda laku. I always talk about how I am so fat I have to walk sideways. I am a fucking pessimist. I mean, the more I say those things about myself, the more I become more of those things. But then again, everyone grows out of one's silliness. I think I have to be a little confident because negativity will only result in negativity in the end. There's no point in being modest when it has no benefit to yourself. Girls like confident guys. Although too much confidence can result in cockiness. Luan kambang atu is a turn off jua. New year's resolution for 2008: be konfaiden.

My stupid neighbour is knocking on our walls again! It was 8.30pm and we were just talking. Man, I seriously hope they die, or get infected with dengue. The other day I saw them clean out their lawn. Jeles tah ku tu lawn kamu bersih dan lawa? Balum. Awu lurus tu, bisai jua usul kubur kamu nanti. Haha!

So yes, here I am vowing not to complain of how inda laku I can get, or how big I am. Haha! Pecaya kamu? Liat tah esuk lusa. You will hear me complaining again. But no, I will try not to. After all, it is getting old. Even Jessica said it was annoying. So yes, anything for Jessica.

Break time

2008-03-30T22:34:00.006+08:00

I am now back in Canterbury. There is no place like home. The moment I stepped into my house, I went straight to bed. I couldn't be bothered to change because I was really tired, so I slept in my half-wet shirt and jeans.

I had a good time in London actually. Even though I was really busy helping out with the event, I enjoyed it. I like being involved in these kind of things. There were lots of girls too. I think, I think, I was crushing on someone. I wonder who it was because I honestly forgot siapa (eksenku tapinya).

My body is aching like hell. The last time my body ached like this was when I was in a tarik kalat competition. That's how tired I am. This post won't be any longer because I still have work to do. Break time's over. The due date is this coming Thursday, so wish me luck.

Take care my friends.

My date with...

2008-03-25T19:11:00.005+08:00

So Jessica Alba called and asked me out. Apparently, those who left the messages on the tag board was not her. So yeah, it was 2AM in the morning. We talked for hours, inda kami betidur. But it was siang already. We even pulled the cliche goodbye - YOU hang up, no YOU hang up, no YOU hang up. I'm like apakan si Jessica ani. So I just hung up, sekali menyamal ia I hung up on her. We spent another few hours on the phone just so that I could pujuk ia.

She just happened to be in London, so I came down. Apparently she had some shooting katanya. She didn't want to talk about work, so aku layan lah. I didn't want to destroy her mood. I was so surprised she could speak some malay. She said she learned malay for her movie 'Sleeping Dictionary' where she played an Iban woman.

It was sweet of her to pick me up at the train station. I was a bit annoyed at people taking her pictures. She was sweet though, she did layan some of her fans but her attention was mostly arah ku. Aku smitten berabis. Tapi it was a bit annoying jua in the end when people were crowding her, so I suggested that she should disguise a little bit. Aku bawa ia ke tie rack untuk bali tudung tie rack yang 5.99. Lawa ia pakai tudung yoh! Macam orang Brunei usulnya. Kan mati saja ku inda meliat ia! So by then, no one recognised it was her. Happy berabis ku yoh, I tell you.

We headed to this restaurant, inda ku tau what it's called. It was her favourite restaurant. The place was quite deserted. I had an amazing dinner; great food, great company. She has this cute little laugh where every time she does it I swear aku kan pengsan. She's funny too. She makes me laugh. Aii, mati smitten ku yoh!

After dinner, we walked to her hotel. Kami cerita-cerita. She told me she just started reading my blog a few months ago. She was telling me she found it annoying how I always whine about my weight. Okay, okay, for her, I'll stop. I told her aku suka ia dari ku damit sudah. Dari since aku dalam parut mamaku sudah ku suka ia, banar. She was like, oh Jirin, we are so meant to be. Aku cakap ia cheesy sekali ia menyamal. But sanang wah aku pujuk ia, aku kelitik ia sedikit, okay tia. Oh, is this love?

Aku malas cerita what happened next. Inda kuasa membangga-banggakan barang cematu atu =p After all, I do not usually blog about anything too personal. But this is an exception. Jessica Alba kali ah. Not every Bruneian could say 'oh I dated Jessica Alba once'.

But later in the night, we both agreed it was just going to be a one-time thing. It was really emotional though. We lead separate lives and have non-intersecting circles. It's just impossible for us to stay together. Plus, if I do stay with her, si Rebecca Romijn kan ku apa? We're in good terms though. Also, I found out she was pregnant rupanya after her fiancé left me a message on my tag board telling me to back off. To Jessica's fiancé: eff off. The baby could've been mine too, bastard. Anytime soon, you will start to wonder why your baby is looking a little Asian, and that's when I go - 'HAHA!'

The date may not sound as romantic, but hey, I WENT ON A DATE WITH JESSICA ALBA. I don't want to post pictures of us together (believe me, we did take ~~videos~~ pictures!) because any moment now you can probably find them at those celebrity gossip websites. Aku inda suka wah kambang-kambang ani =p

(Haha, that was lame.)

I wish I wish I wish

2008-03-23T08:01:00.000+08:00

There are a lots of things I would want to wish for. For example, I wish my easter holiday could be longer than two weeks. I wish I could be a wiser person. I wish my rent is not so expensive. I wish England is as near as Miri is to Brunei. I wish I could eat tonnes of chocolate and not get bigger. I wish my laundry could clean by itself. I wish my duvet could fold by itself every morning. I wish Bruneians could stop using the phrase 'jub*r mu itam', it's getting old.

I wish one of my house mates could walk into my room right now to offer me a glass of water, because I am too lazy to get it myself. I wish my wallet is thick not because it has loads of receipts, but money. I wish someone could've invented a multipurpose soap that could be used as body wash, facial wash, shampoo, toothpaste and shaving cream altogether. I wish I could use the reason "I am big boned!".

I wish I could control UK's weather with a remote control. I wish aku pandai main bula so I don't have to find an excuse every time someone brings me to play football. I wish my cholesterol could be artistic ideas instead; so I could do my coursework with ease. I wish I'm not that much of a big slacker. I wish I am as laku and macho as Ali, feebleprodigy.blogspot.com Ali. Haha! (I also wish I could update my blog everyday like Ali, feebleprodigy.blogspot.com Ali.)

I wish Aminah Arif could open up a branch here in the UK. I wish I am not so dramatic. I wish I am not as loud. I wish haircuts here are as cheap as canned tuna. I wish I had the courage to write about personal stuff on my blog. I wish I am not as shallow and choosy. I wish girls aren't so shallow so that I don't have to lose weight. I wish that Jessica Alba could give me a call and ask me out.

This is just me slacking off again. I'm gonna do work now. Later.

P/S: Jessica, call me. Or leave me a message on my tag board at least. Don't be shy-shy cat. I know you read my blog.

Kahwin paksa

2008-03-18T20:56:00.005+08:00

I want to talk about arranged marriages. I haven't thought of how this post is going to end up so just bear with me for a bit.

Arranged marriages do not happen anymore zaman ani. Ada pulang, but it is not the most popular way for a couple to get married. People now date. Do you realise that back in the day (when people don't date and had arranged marriages), divorces were almost next to zero? Do you realise that only now when the modern world has started 'dating' that divorces are getting so common? Or maybe that's just a coincidence.

I remember there's that saying - love starts after marriage. I think it's a Hadith, I'm not sure. Say you are to be arranged to marry someone who you don't know but are approved by your parents. It can either work out, or not work out. It's a matter of risk. Are you willing to take that risk? Can we be certain that love starts after marriage?

Scratch all those I've said. That's just me as a single-inda-laku guy talking! I'm wondering. Other than arranged marriages, what's the safe and ideal way to get married without dating then?

Arranged marriages can be seen as a cruel thing somehow. It's like memajal perasaan in a way. Kalau suka sama suka, baik. Tapi kalau suka sama inda suka? Kalau inda suka sama inda suka? Cemana? Pajal saja tia? Sabar?

Picture this conversation between 'yang suka' and 'yang inda suka'.

Yang suka: Sayang, 'sayang' sayang 'sayang'?
Yang inda suka: Inda. 'Inda sayang' inda sayang 'inda sayang'.

Do you get it?

Stupid neighbour

2008-03-15T19:51:00.007+08:00

We all know that Jirin's not the blogger who updates everyday. Not even every two days. Not even once a week sometimes. I do try though. I do try to update as much as I can, but every time I do, I end up typing out something personal. It just ends up being drafted.

I hate my neighbour. I hate them. I fucking hate them. Bising sedikit pun kana tagur. This is what you get for living in a terraced unit. No, no, salah tu. This is when you get when you are neighbours with orang gila.

It was a Friday night. I was watching an episode of Friends when we heard a sarcastic knock on the wall. Did that make me lower down the volume of the TV? Malas ku kan inggut. Makin lagi ku basarkan volume TV. Ketawa ku lagi labang-labang. Not once have they told us to pipe down. Yes, maybe we can be loud at times, but bukannya dua puluh ampat jam kami bising. It's our house, so we have the rights to be loud, no? They say it's late in the night and they have work early in the morning the next day. Okay. We're sorry for that. But during the weekend; kana tagur jua. Awal pukul 9 malam; pun kana tagur jua.

Never did our neighbour on our right complained about us. Neighbour kiri ani ganya gila. I feel like giving them a poisoned cheese cake as an 'apology'. One of these days, I may just do that. I swear. Garam hati ku. Rasa kan ku karat wah telinga durang ah @!#$%^&%%$$##%$%$^%&%^^(^@#@#@$^%%$#$#%$%$!

Sudah tah luan labih ia mengomplen ani; penipu lagi tu. Kalau weekday they say they have work early in the morning. Kalau weekend they say they have a baby sleeping in their house. But whenever I catch them leaving their house, it's only the two of them laki bini. No baby. No fucking baby. Penipu kan? I told you!

I don't know what they're expecting from us. To whisper when we speak? Buduh. I am getting sick of this. Screw you, house number 62.

BSUnion National Day Celebration

2008-03-13T03:43:00.003+08:00

If you haven't heard about this event, please observe the poster below...

In commemoration of the 24th National Day of our beloved country, BSUnion is organising a National Day Celebration on a cruise! Yes, we will be cruising along River Thames as we celebrate. Do consider, because it will be fun to experience the view of River Thames at night. The vessel will pass by The Houses of Parliaments, O2 Dome, The London Eye and lots more. Siuk ni, banar.

For tickets, please contact Shahyzul (07795181050) or Zakiyyah (07889430839). Please purchase tickets by 20th March.

Click the image above for a bigger version.

See you there!

The suicide thing

2008-03-10T09:59:00.011+08:00

In my previous post, I might have mentioned how utterly stupid it is for someone to commit suicide; which I later scratched out after anonymous left a message on my tag board how insensitive it is to talk like that. That got me thinking. We all are thinking eh buduh jua durang ani kan bunuh diri. Now that I gave it a thought, true, they could have suffered from a mental illness, or have gone through a rough time.

We all judge too quickly. We don't know what's the story behind it. That's our thing. We judge people too quickly. Like if we see a prostitute, we immediately call them sampah masyarakat and trash them. We shouldn't. We see someone commit a sin, we see them as sinners for life. But so are we, we are all sinners. It is our responsibility to help and guide each other towards the right path.

What I meant to point out was, as we all may know, it is blasphemous to commit suicide. The thought of committing suicide may naturally cross our minds when we go through rough times. It's what we may think is the solution to a problem. It's not, it's NEVER the solution. God won't put us through something He knows we can't get through. In other words, whatever it is that we are facing, we will always get through it, one way or another. God wouldn't give us courage if we ask for courage; instead He gives us a situation for us to be courageous.

Thank you, Anonymous.

I love carrots

2008-03-09T17:03:00.003+08:00

How's everybody else doing? As for me, I think I'm doing fine. It's just that I've loads of work on my plate. The deadline is approaching so it's really pressuring. But it's good. I work best under pressure. I have two projects; I have to redesign Hamley's logo for their 250th anniversary; and to create a campaign to promote Wagamama's eat-out sales. I hate talking about school, so I'll stop here.

I think it's starting to get Springy here. I see flowers at the park, it's a nice view. I know it's Spring is because the bugs are starting to appear; the mosquitoes and all. The mosquitoes are big as hell here. I don't know, everything seems to be big here. Kucing nya lampoh-lampoh. Nyamuk nya basar macam acang. Ayam haram pun macam ayam turki basarnya. Sekali sudah ayam halal, damit tia, kacut. Macam inda bedusa-dusa. (The other day, stupid bug stung me. Of all places, disangatnya parutku. Bangkak. Sudahtah labu, makin tia lagi labu. Aku sensitive sedikit ni kalau pasal parut. Jangan main-main.)

I was catching up with my younger sister the other day and she was telling me how her work colleague knows about the Harshi/Hershey story [click here]. It's weird to be told that story and in return telling people - hey, that's me! The whole Harshi story is getting very notorious. Malu ku banarnya. It's not even a joke sebenarnya. It was merely just an experience. It's a funny experience though! I googled up Harshi and apparently there's an Indian blogger named Harshi. I was looking through his archives, mana tau it's him and whether he has has blogged about other side of the Harshi/Hersheys story. But of course, it's not him. God bless the original Harshi.

I am getting bored of eating spinach soup almost every other day. So now I'm introducing carrots as my staple food. I love carrots. I have always loved carrots dari damit. Like how people say pink is the new black, carrot is the new chicken. Right now, I'm saying that I prefer carrots to chicken. Haha, right now ganya tu. Cuba liat esuk lusa, muak carrot ni banar.

Nothing new is going on in my life. No further weight loss. No 30-year-old girlfriend (JK!). No nothing. Until I have something to talk about, I shall update.

Advertisment

2008-03-06T05:57:00.000+08:00

As requested :)

Overdue Holiday Pics

2008-02-28T05:42:00.000+08:00

Syubs, Jepp, nah pictures of you guys. Thing is, sudah arah desktop background wah, iatah aku nda taruh sini earlier. Hehe!

Lamb Doner

2008-02-26T22:45:00.005+08:00

The plan was to not update until someone comments or tags 'I am interested' to the previous post. Hahaha! After a week barutah someone comments under the post that she's interested. Nice, she's just a year older than me. You are a female, right? Please tell me you are a female. Because if you aren't, I'm going to cry my eyes out now, seriously.

I joke, I joke. I have just been busy; what with the diet, school, et cetera et cetera. Haha, luan jua tu ah busy pasal diet. In fact, masa diet ani banyak pulang masa lapang perasanku. I used to eat when I'm bored, so now, when I'm bored, I'm just bored. No food to binge on. Boring.

Yesterday, I was good, diet wise. I could stand it. I had cereal for breakfast, more cereal for lunch and finally for dinner I had spinach soup. Yay, kanyang. I only had rabbit food, and kanyang. Alhamdulillah. (Rabbit food is vegetable, according to Afiifah!)

Around an hour after dinner, which was around 8.30pm, all of a sudden, a mental image of satay came into mind. Not just any satay, it was SATAY URAT. I swear, I was almost in tears. Mana ada satay di Canterbury. Kalau ada pun satay di UK ani, mahal kali ah. Like in London, arah Satay House (owned by some Malaysian), harga secucuk satay is sepaun. Crazy! Baru ia namanya gila harta. Baik talan duit paun ah.

I did everything I could. I made myself busy. Anything to get rid of the satay that's in my mind. I was good, for a couple of minutes. Eh kalau nada satay, daging pun jadi lah. I needed meat so badly. I was craving like bini-bini betian. In fact, kalah bini-bini betian. Inda ku tahan lagi. I couldn't resist. So, I went out to buy Lamb Kebab.

This was the whole Kit-Kat incident all over again. Self control? Screw self control. Hey, at least I walked to the kebab place to buy it. So don't facking judge me. It is my facking body. Haha, mental-much.

That was really disappointing. Lapas ku makan kebab atu, muak kan muntah saja rasaku. Kan kuyak saja inda parut ku kekanyangan. Iatah namanya nafsu tu. Basar awa.

Syubs, Jepp and Wei, thanks for calling me up tadi. That cheered me up a a little. It's nice to be reminded how great friends you guys are. Errr, gay. Mati, rindu ku chill sama kamu. Haha, we'll rock Brunei in summer. Oh, like you requested, I shall post pictures esuk. Promise.

Target change?

2008-02-18T20:31:00.010+08:00

Do you know what I get a lot of? I don't get a lot of girls who like me, but I get a lot of parents who like me to hook up with their daughters. If not parents, siblings or aunties or uncles of the subject. I'm sorry, don't mind the cockiness; hey, it's the only thing I can be proud of. I can't afford to be modest, so why bother.

If I was born in the early 1900s where parents were still in charge of looking for their children's life partners, I guess I'd be married by the age of 18 already! Most eligible menantu kali ah. But wake up you dumb wit, it's not 1908, it's 2008.

Maybe we can have a new reality tv show. I don't know, maybe we can call it 'Brunei's Next Top Menantu', or 'Menantu Impian' or something like that. Kalau ada, tell me. I haven't won anything in a very long time.

The thing is, our parents don't do that anymore. Parents' responsibilities has evolved over the years. They don't have to make the search for us. We do the search on our own. All they have to do now is to observe the subject. They either agree or disagree. If they disagree, perhaps more time would change their mind. If they agree, we're all set; get the calendar and lets find a perfect date for the wedding.

We have this family friend who is a very successful business woman. We call her Nyunyah. That's actually 'Nyonya' but we Bruneians like to butch the standard way of pronouncing words. Anyway, she once said to me that she'd like me to be her menantu. But all her kids were already married. She said, maybe her cucu perhaps? Sekali ku liat cucu-cucu nya ani masih lagi menyusu, masih lagi pakai baju Kiko. Bedamitan! Sorry, I'm no Michael Jackson.

Maybe pasal aku ani ketuahan sedikit. Antah nyamo. So, I'm thinking; maybe I should go for older women. Like five to ten years older than me. To those single 30-year-olds, I am now in your market. So, promise me you will consider it.

I'm kidding. Eksen ku. Hey, I'm no Ashton Kutcher either!

Iatah hari cinta ni?

2008-02-15T03:41:00.008+08:00

So today is the so called valentine's day. I had school today, and most of my course mates asked for permission to leave early to prepare for the so called big night. I left early too because it was getting too obvious who was single in the class when there was just a couple of us left in the room. How sad is that? Haha.

On my way home, every other person was either kissing their boyfriends/girlfriends in the streets or had flowers in their hands. What did I have in my hands? A freaking project folder and a sketch book. How sad is that? Haha.

This is just me exaggerating again. Really, all that had no effect on me. Malas tah ku kan inggut.

I am not going to wish you people out there a happy valentines day, not just because I am the jealous single guy, but also because we are not supposed to celebrate it anyway. A muslim celebrating valentine is like an African celebrating Gawai. You get what I'm saying? Another thing, why celebrate love just on this day? You're supposed to celebrate love every day kali ah.

Like how the rest of Brunei is attacking the unfortunate girl who dissed UBD, do not attack me if you have other views on Valentine's. Yes, I can see why some people may say that is it okay to celebrate it because what's most important is our niat kan? Some people may say: asal saja niat bukan untuk mengikut orang kapir then okay.

You know there are extremists who say that we Muslims can not follow whatever the westerners have introduced. I remember watching a ceramah on an RTB show (An-Nuur) where the Ustaz was saying that kalau ketani pakai cap pun bedusa because it is a western culture. Hello? Aku kan pakai cap bukan nya pasal aku mau ikut orang putih. Panas kali ah Brunei atu. Mun ku kan mengikut orang putih wah, ada kali ku menggasa badan pakai barus dawai sampai putih jua kulit ku macam Michael Jackson.

Anyway, as I was telling you how I've been on a diet, things haven't been easy. Everything I see seem to remind of food. Kalau ku liat habuk, ku liat banar-banar macam gulali tia usulnya. Ku liat tabir ku, ku liat banar-banar macam kek batik tia usulnya; padahal jauh wah. Sponge badan ku liat macam daging burger. Marker pen ku liat macam keropok lekor. Semua macam makanan wah ku liat. Apa lagi kalau ku liat makanan banar; besinar-sinar dan berseri-seri macam bagas turun dari syurga. Ada bunyi ani lagi. Takan play.

I kid you not! Okay, macam makin lame aku ani. Ok I'll stop here. Hahaha. Later!

This blog thing

2008-02-13T07:22:00.000+08:00

I was given a link to a Friendster blog written by this kid who wants to study in the UK. She dissed UBD big time. She was saying how she'll be really malu if she ends up studying there. She also said that she was confident in getting a scholarship by the government to be sent to the UK.

Membari awar wah anak ah. I won't comment further. Tapi membari kan menampar wah. I'll stop. Garam ati ku! Okay adang.

(I'd link this kid's blog but that would be too mean, wouldn't it? I'll leave the link on the comment box if you want me to.)

Do you think that people with this kind of attitude will get awarded a scholarship? We have authorities in Brunei who keeps track of people's blogs. This is the thing: we bloggers may think that we can say whatever we want to say. Think twice. Be careful what you say on your blog. Karang ujung-ujung inda lagi tedapat IC kuning. Kana suruh karang bekayuh mencari negeri baru.

This actually makes me think. People will judge us from our blogs. Not just our blogs, but from our Facebook profiles (or Friendster). It's scary. It's scary how you can easily google up someone's name and get information about them. So, now I'm thinking. Will this blog of mine affect my career opportunities in the future? Will I eventually delete this blog once I start working?

Probably not. I love blogging too much I would probably still be blogging even if aku beranak kah, becucu kah, becicit kah. Haha, nini blogger they'd call me. I would probably be teaching my child to blog at an early age even! Haha jangan-jangan malu kali anak ku ni nanti bapanya tedapat blog.

In a few years time, I am going to be a teacher. To be honest, I am looking forward to it. I know it will not be easy, but it's a challenge I have yet to tackle. I probably wasn't the best mannered student back in my hey days. Therefore, I do not expect to have the best mannered students in the future. That way I get to realise how hard it was for my teachers to handle students like me.

If I can I would fast forward my life to age 30. A stable job, a loving wife and a probably a kid by then. But what do I know. Most people who are already working want to go back to their university days. Yet, here I am wishing to be working already. Liat saja nanti. I bet I'd be crying to myself: cubatah ada remote control macam arah cerita Click so I can rewind my life!

Anyway, I was just reading my previous post and I just realised how disgusting I sounded. I am sorry for that. Baru ku sadar how barigali that post sounded.

Oh yeah, my stupid diet. It's gone okay so far. I eat a variety of 'healthy' food now, not just the stupid cereals. I don't want to talk about my progress, because if I do, I will probably jinx it and the next thing I know, I would probably end up looking like a sumo. Now we don't want that, do we?

Aku diet!

2008-02-09T02:26:00.000+08:00

I know by now you all may be sanak sudah ni pasal aku malar sudah cakap pasal my weight issues. After my last post about me talking about my weight, I still get people telling me I am not big. Inda tia paham-paham kali kamu ani. I need you to tell me I'm big!

I just want to say that I'm currently on a cereal diet. Breakfast makan cereal, lunch makan cereal, dinner makan cereal and snacks pun cereal. It's not just any cereal, it's fruits and fiber cereal.

It's been three days. Alum jua mau kurus. Tapi I have been farting like crazy. Cubatah sekali bekantut ani keluar lamak. You know, lamak but in the form of gas. When you fart sometimes you don't mind your own fart kan? But, lately, I have been farting a lot sampai sanak rasa ku, benafas pun payah. Lamas rasa ku bau kantut saja. I WANT FRESH AIR IN MY ROOM; which is impossible considering that I fart every other minute dua tiga hari ani. TOLONG!

When you eat you're fulfilling your nafsu and your parut. You eat to please your appetite and your stomach. For the past three days I have been eating just for the sake of eating. I'd be full, but I'd be craving for something yummy at the same time.

Exercise? I walk everyday so that's counted as exercise. I can't afford the gym. Jogging di luar would be suicide. Pasal sajuk.

AKU MAU AYAM GORENG! AYAM PANGGANG! AMBUYAT! DURIAN! SEMUA KAN KU TALAN!

(Screw my cereal diet, I am now eating spinach soup for a little change. How sad is that.)

Photos!

2008-02-07T02:33:00.000+08:00

As promised, these are the pictures from last weekend. Thanks to Syeedah, Syikin, Fezz, Ka Wani and Ka Shikin for visiting! I had a great time.

Jangan jara, datang-datang lagi ke Canterbury yes! Cheers.

Taiming kah muka ku

2008-02-05T04:10:00.000+08:00

You all may not have guessed, but it is hard for me to make new friends. I usually meet new people through my existing friends. Jarang sekali I would come up to a random person and start to mingle randomly. Simple because, in that sense, I am quite the shy type.

You make different perceptions about people you do not know. You instantly judge them; it is only natural to. Say, for example, one may look taiming. Then, there's an immediate reaction to that - you dislike him/her. That perception sticks forever in your mind, it will, if you do not make an effort to get to know the person better. I too judge people. I might have disliked some people just because that they might have looked ambung or taiming.

You know how people say karma always bites you in the ass, right? Today I learned that some people actually thought that I am ambung and taiming before they met me. Karma, oh, karma.

I was like "Indakan!"; I was in disbelief. But apparently I do. But honestly people, I love people in general! I am very loving! I am not taiming nor am I ambung! Maybe it's the way I subconsciously carry myself. Or maybe, it is just simply... pisin mua ku.

So I am really sorry if I don't look very welcoming. I am the opposite of that.

Another popular perception that people may have of me is that I look quite conservative. Do I? Aku yang capi-capi ulah ku ani kana ucap conservative? Actually that's quite a compliment I must say.

I cannot naturally smile in pictures (unless I laugh), so I have people telling me that I smile like perogol bersiri in pictures. To tell me that I have a fake smile would be enough, you know. Ani perogol bersiri wah kana ucap usul mua ku. Others would tell me that I look like a pimp. Me? A pimp? Mun pimples mengakun ku. Lame haha.

Like they always say, never judge a book by its cover. Read its first few pages first, the you judge. I judge people by how they look sometimes, and I'm usually wrong.

So to people who thought that I am ambung or taiming, I am not. Maybe that is what's keeping me single all these time. Okay, now that you know I am not ambung nor taiming, do ask me out. (I am very loving!)

HAHAHA. Bari gali aku ah.

My weekend was great. I had lots of fun and I had great company. Thanks guys for the greatest weekend I have ever had in a long time. I'll post pictures esok (I promise this time). Do come back and check it out.

Assalamualaikum.

Study Strong Strong

2008-01-31T11:54:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a depressing post. You have been warned. Haha.

It's almost 4AM and I have not slept yet. I'm currently trying to finish up my proposal for my two projects and essay. Why is it the only times that I blog are the times that I need time really badly? Screw it. Inda batah ni. Sekajap saja.

Last year I had a hard time adapting to live here in the UK. I was struggling in handling bills et cetera. But academically, I was doing fine. This year, it is the opposite. Now, I am financially okay but I am not satisfied with my academic performance so far. It's either one. You either struggle with having to live independently, or to struggle academically. The less fortunate students would suffer in both areas.

I wish I can go back to last year. I now do not mind having to struggle financially. That way I get reminded every time of my responsibility for being here; that is to study. Sure I wished that our allowance could be raised. But after having all these thoughts, I realise that having spare money don't exactly help me. It may. But at the same time, it is a disaster in disguise.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the course does get tougher as I go further along the journey. But what explains my aggravating laziness? Learn from this, Jirin.

This is so depressing! Sidak-sidak ku menangis menulis post ani. Tapi eksen ku. Mun banar wah, emosi banget!

Namanya dugaan nyamu. Inda Tuhan kan membari semua sanang di dunia ani. Apa bulih buat. At the end of the day, mesti jua pajal diri untuk sadar segala kelemahan. Ingat pasan indung: belajar kuat-kuat. In other words, study strong-strong!

Esok pagi, when I wake up, berkat hari Jumaat Insya Allah, I want to have a fresher attitude. Also, when I wake up, I want to find myself kurus sedikit. Hahaha, baru ia wishful thinking.

Cheers. Wassalam.

Kana pihit?

2008-01-25T12:47:00.000+08:00

I am sure most of you have experienced 'kana pihit'. Aku malar pulang 'kana pihit'. I think it started during my late teenage years; zaman sekolah menengah. Now, here in the UK, kana pihit jua ku masih masa tidur. Geez, cut me some slack, please!

I have always wondered banar kah inda ni kana pihit. In our religion, we are taught to believe that there are other beings like Jins. So these jins lah yang memihit ketani? No? Possible. Makes sense.

However, there is a scientific explanation. Apparently, it is called 'sleep paralysis'. This, too, makes sense. Sleep paralysis is the feeling of not being able to speak and move any part of the body whilst asleep, or immediately upon waking up. It is often accompanied by "terrifying hallucinations". Sleep paralysis is the result of premature mind-body disconnection as one is about to enter into (or exit from) sleep.

An unhealthy diet and excessive stress may cause one to experience sleep paralysis. I read somewhere that if you want to overcome sleep paralysis, you should sleep regularly, have a healthy diet and have sex often.

Have sex often? I guess I won't be experiencing sleep paralysis when I get married then. Case closed. The solution is to get married soon. Haha. Joke.

I am only talking about this simply because I was just experiencing this sleep paralysis a few nights ago. It only occurred to me that I wanted to find out what it actually is. It can be either one. Something scientific? Something paranormal?

Aku pernah bangun tidur sekali realise ada bruise on my thigh. Nya orang kana cubit antu? Kiut jua antu nya ani. Cubit nya ganya? Kenapa inda cangak, tampar, sula? Garam ati nya kali meliat aku. Macam ketani wah, mun ketani meliat kanak-kanak lampuh, rasa kan di cubit muka durang kan? Kalau antu, lain sedikit. Durang garam ati meliat manusia lampuh. APAKAN!

Mudahan tah nada antu membaca blog ani. Mun ada, gerenti kana pihit and kana cubit ni karang! Kalau ada, this message is especially for you: Sorry yoh; sangal ku bah kau memihit ah. Kalau inda kau pihit, kau cubit. Cubatah kau mengurut badan. Kan bisai! Ada jua faedah nya kan? Inda jua abis usin ku mengupah Indon mengurut. Peace yoh!

*p/s: Mana ada antu. Ghosts don't exist.

(Type AFUNDI JIRIN dan hantarkan ke 32999. Haha, I am nominated to become the Brunei Students Union punya Information Secretary. Visit www.bsunion.org for more information.)

Appetite enhancing vitamins

2008-01-20T20:31:00.000+08:00

"Jirin, why are you so concerned about your weight? You're a guy."

It's what you call self-esteem issues. The next time you see a fat guy who has a girlfriend, ask him - 'Are you conscious of your body weight?' - and he'll say no, because ia ada girlfriend. He has self-esteem.

I don't have self-esteem. I have fucking cholesterol.

I have people telling me I don't need to lose weight because I'm okay the way I am. There I am, telling them that I want to lose weight because of health issues. Haha, however bullshit that may be, it is partly true. My weight says that I'm an obese, although I may just look like an overweight person, my weight tells me that I am obese.

Some of you may not think so, but whenever I go to functions or events like makan-makan or doa selamat, I have relatives who tells me "Subhanallah! Lampuh jua kau Jirin!" or "Apa saja kau makan, Jirin?" or even worse "Berapa bulan sudah, Jirin?".

Then, masa time makan - "Eh, kenapa sekali round saja Jirin?"

Cali. Joke of the day. Pandai becanda.

Just for the record, I was born small. I was born sedikit lagi underweight kali. I was doing fine until I was around 11 years old, I was not too thin, and definitely wasn't fat. At that time, my cousin ani kurus bangat; so kurus, membari rawan hati meliat. So her mother supplies her with those kinds of vitamin supplements. It's like Appeton or something like that; it gives you appetite. Like I said, I was 11 years old. So, aku makan. Nyaman. Macam gula-gula. So everytime ia makan vitamin atu, aku pun makan. Inda ku payah minta seringgit arah niniku untuk membali Nano-Nano di kadai lingka sebalah rumah. Inda ku payah mengurik tabung.

If there's something in my life that I regretted doing; it would be that. I regret not thinking of the long term effects of consuming those vitamins. To my defense, I didn't know they were appetite enhancing vitamins.

What a big, fat mistake. Pun intended.

I used to have a childhood maid who used to struggle in feeding me. When I was younger, payah wah aku kan makan. Kana tampar pebaik, inda jua mau makan. Inda pulang ia pernah menampar aku, I'm just saying dulu atu kalau kana tampar ku pebaik, inda jua ku mau makan. I don't remember this, but nya nini ku, the maid buat jampi wah arah ku. Di taruh nya segala bawang arah pusat ku and she started reciting jampi Indon. Padan tah aku suka bawang! The jampi was to make me kuat makan.

Kalau tah boleh ku cari tu amah ku ah to reverse the jampi. I miss her actually. She was nice. Despite the fact that she pulled a jampi on me, she's still a nice person. I wonder how she's doing now.

My blog stats says that I have a reader from Indonesia. Is that you Auntie Lela?