I am sure everyone agrees with me that to change to be someone better is a very hard thing to do. Like I once blogged about a few posts ago, a change will not happen in a flash, no it wouldn’t, but it’s more like a journey. Also in an older post, I have mentioned how I said I wanted to tone down my suka-beibun personality, to try to not laugh out loud as much, perhaps be a little more serious and… kawasan-kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya.
Just recently, I have learned a lesson: there’s only so much you can do, but personality is terlampau deep sampai ke tulang wah kalau kan diubah. Harimau inda dapat dipajal jadi kucing, kucing inda dapat dipajal jadi harimau. No matter how much I try to limit myself, sometimes I just cannot control myself. Sometimes I can, other times I just can’t. I may appear reserved to some people, but appear loud to others. Mungkin kemarin aku diam-diam dapan mu, sekali esoknya inda tia. I get it, you’re confused, but hey, so am I. So. Am. I.
So I seek a that kind of support from you. If you see me pulling a serious face, or just smiling instead of laughing out loud to your jokes, or not giving you eye-contact (if you’re a lady) when I talk to you; and then be the total opposite the next time I see you; please have faith and bear with me.
“Jirin, you don’t seem like how you are on your blog and Facebook. You’re NORMAL in person.”
I get that a lot. That’s because on my blog and Facebook, I’m physically talking to no one; which makes it easier to talk about Islam. I can’t just talk about Islam with anyone, although I wish I could, but I can’t. I’m sure you would understand. I see you talking about some rock band on your blog, but I don’t see you talking about them with me. Why? Probably because you know I’m not into those kind of stuff. It’s totally the same situation with me.
Why do I want to talk about Islam? Islam is TOO beautiful. It’s just TOO beautiful wah TOO BEAUTIFUL! TOO BEAUTIFUL TO THE POWER OF INFINITY! I want everyone else to witness its beauty as well. In a beautiful house, if you stay alone, sunyi kan? No matter how amazing the house is, you will feel lonely. Why not invite your family and friends to experience kehebatan rumah atu kan. Kan? Inda ja? *Hears jaaaaaa~~*
I feel like I HAVE TO talk about Islam. I HAVE TO spread the love of Islam. It feels blasphemous if I don’t. For now, my blog and Facebook is my medium to do so, so please have faith and bear with me.
Coming back to the personality bit, while I try to tone done, cukup aribulan, ada jua keluar tu ulah ku. I guess it's not about changing, but it's all about moderation.