Sunday, 20 January 2008

Appetite enhancing vitamins

"Jirin, why are you so concerned about your weight? You're a guy."

It's what you call self-esteem issues. The next time you see a fat guy who has a girlfriend, ask him - 'Are you conscious of your body weight?' - and he'll say no, because ia ada girlfriend. He has self-esteem.

I don't have self-esteem. I have fucking cholesterol.

I have people telling me I don't need to lose weight because I'm okay the way I am. There I am, telling them that I want to lose weight because of health issues. Haha, however bullshit that may be, it is partly true. My weight says that I'm an obese, although I may just look like an overweight person, my weight tells me that I am obese.

Some of you may not think so, but whenever I go to functions or events like makan-makan or doa selamat, I have relatives who tells me "Subhanallah! Lampuh jua kau Jirin!" or "Apa saja kau makan, Jirin?" or even worse "Berapa bulan sudah, Jirin?".

Then, masa time makan - "Eh, kenapa sekali round saja Jirin?"

Cali. Joke of the day. Pandai becanda.

Just for the record, I was born small. I was born sedikit lagi underweight kali. I was doing fine until I was around 11 years old, I was not too thin, and definitely wasn't fat. At that time, my cousin ani kurus bangat; so kurus, membari rawan hati meliat. So her mother supplies her with those kinds of vitamin supplements. It's like Appeton or something like that; it gives you appetite. Like I said, I was 11 years old. So, aku makan. Nyaman. Macam gula-gula. So everytime ia makan vitamin atu, aku pun makan. Inda ku payah minta seringgit arah niniku untuk membali Nano-Nano di kadai lingka sebalah rumah. Inda ku payah mengurik tabung.

If there's something in my life that I regretted doing; it would be that. I regret not thinking of the long term effects of consuming those vitamins. To my defense, I didn't know they were appetite enhancing vitamins.

What a big, fat mistake. Pun intended.

I used to have a childhood maid who used to struggle in feeding me. When I was younger, payah wah aku kan makan. Kana tampar pebaik, inda jua mau makan. Inda pulang ia pernah menampar aku, I'm just saying dulu atu kalau kana tampar ku pebaik, inda jua ku mau makan. I don't remember this, but nya nini ku, the maid buat jampi wah arah ku. Di taruh nya segala bawang arah pusat ku and she started reciting jampi Indon. Padan tah aku suka bawang! The jampi was to make me kuat makan.

Kalau tah boleh ku cari tu amah ku ah to reverse the jampi. I miss her actually. She was nice. Despite the fact that she pulled a jampi on me, she's still a nice person. I wonder how she's doing now.

My blog stats says that I have a reader from Indonesia. Is that you Auntie Lela?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had the same experience.

I was.. underweight too when I was a kid. Then came that one time during Primary 4 when my school had that annual medical check-up thing and where everyone would get excited about getting injections and stuff. Well yeah. The nurse had each of us checked.. weight, eyes bla bla. And since I was underweight then (inda pulang underweight banar but still.. underweight), she gave me these pills supaya banyak makan and being the naive kid I was and sakai lagi pasal balum pernah menalan pill, I followed the advice. first time kali ah kan menalan pill.. so was thinking, damn basar aku ani sudah.

And in a few years time, basar banar jadinya aku atu.. dari underweight ke overweight! At least, normal tah ah.. but ani overweight slajur.. inda membagi chan..

point is.. like you.. nyasal ku setia makan pill ah!

Ungly Duckling said...

hahahaha..that vitamin did worked wonders alrite! aku bah, atu kan kurus banget mcm payah2 berbubut time damit, kana bagi vitamin, mcm rusa msuk kampung selajur..hahahah! n i regretted eating all those vitamins! masa damit2 makanan manis ani nda bleh dijamah nie, mebari kana rotan,pasal krg gigi rusak! iatah ganya vitamin atu jadi iski lumpat2 nunggu giliran. mind u, all my cuz were so damn kurus karing, ani smua plg kami mcm keturunan urg turkey! hahahah..its harder to lose weight now!

Jirin said...

Anonymous and Uglyduckling,

WE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT!!!!!!!! hhehe thanks for the comment. sorry lambat respond, been busy! heheh

awu banar tu. samalah macam aku, hahhaa banar tu macam anak urang turki saja. hahhaha!

anonymous, hahahhahahh rupanya ada jua macam aku. hahaha i seriosuly tot aku ganya cematuuu hehee!!

Anonymous said...

damn. i feel you. those blasted minyak ikan shit - setan tu vitamins ah. gila bayi. kalau anak atu kurus biar kan tia kurus just concentrate on feeding them healthy food janji lurus makan dorang. ani i look at my childhood picture i wish i was THAT KURUS! sudah org lampoh setiap kali meliat inda kan abis critic lampoh ani. keparat mentality org brunei ani kadang2. hehehe. sorry ah. bitter abis ku ni! its like YEAH GET OVER IT DAMN IT! i'm FAT SO BIG F*CKING DEAL!!! Hahaha. man, i'm such a bitch. hahaha.

i dnt knw u and i've never seen u but i'm sure ur not that bad. org brunei ani saja bida perangai nada lain kan bisdia cakapkan :) i dnt mean all lah but some of them lah saja.

Jirin said...

anonymous,

hahah thanks for leaving the comment. awu banar tu. inda apa apa. suatu hari nanti, ketani kurus, durang yang mengucap atu lampuh tu insyaAllah. HHEHEHEE!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA. Oh yeah~ Inda dorang lampoh anak dorang obese! Hahahaha. What a bitch right. Hahaha. Eh hampit bisdia. Malas tah ku kan ingau tu. Nada kraja lain kan bida perangai bisdia.

Reminder: STAY AWAY FROM THOSE BLASTED MINYAK IKAN AND EVERY OTHER STUPID WEIGHT GAIN VITAMINS! You WILL menyasal. Like a BITCH! :D

*must*lose*weight*

*falls asleep*

:D

Cheers! Good luck for the BSU thing :D