Saturday, 15 December 2007

What you call memajal

I just woke up. The door bell rang, I thought it was a package from Ebay that my housemate has been waiting for. It was not. It was a man who said to me tarus-tarus that this is the time when everybody needs Jesus.

I told him I'm a Muslim, I am sorry. I was about to close the door. Please. I was only wearing boxers and the weather outside is freaking cold. I was not well insulated. Tapi memajal anak kapir seorang ani. He read me a verse from the Bible; something about Jesus died to sacrifice for mankind's sake. So I said to him, my friend, I have been taught and believe that Jesus did not die. Jesus is alive this very moment. Jesus is in heaven at this very moment. We Muslims believe in Jesus. Jesus was our prophet. Jesus is not God.

Bawa nya ku bekelayi. Katanya mun Jesus inda mati siapa tah kan menyelamatkan mankind. Sikit lagi ku kan sarcastic cakap Superman lah selamatkan mankind. Sekali he started to say things like how he has friends who WERE Muslims. He was saying something about saving ME from nonsense. Jadinya selama ani ia sukses lah membuka mata orang Islam.

You think my religion is nonsense? You think ISLAM is NONSENSE? We Muslims are taught to not criticise other religions. Especially Christianity. We are taught that Christians are the closest to Muslims.

Pandai ia diam.

"Well, if you change your mind, here's what you can attend. We have a website, please feel free to visit. I just thought I could open your eyes and save you. People nowadays do not want to listen to the Bible."

Like I said, it was cold, and I was wearing boxers. I was practically naked. Malas tah ku kan membawa ia bekelayi. Kajar-kajar ku sudah. Karau ku karang. Kalau kan ku pajal ia masuk Islam, I think ia atu kuat kali iman kekapiran nya ah. So yeah, I just took his brochure that he gave me and closed the door. Sudah di dalam, ku kuyak sejuta kali kuyak. Ku tunu lagi tu arah tambak ah. Kes mental.

Ugama ku lagi kan ku pikirkan. Atu tah lagi ugama mu kan ku selidik. Jangan tah dulu. Terima kasih saja.

That was not the first time. The last time that happened, an old couple stood right infront of me. Again, I was just wearing my boxers. Why do I always have to be in boxers when these people want to talk about religion with me? Hello - I said politely. Sekali he showed me a card which says - We are deaf. We are here to remind you about Jesus.

To tell that I'm a Muslim was a little useless because he was deaf. Teriak-teriak ku pebaik. Namanya tuli, inda ia kan mendangar; macam orang gila saja karang usul ku. So there I was playing charades infront of him; panicking macam ambuk lapar, trying to figure out the best way to symbolise 'I'm a Muslim' using just my hands. It was a good 6O seconds until I started to show how we pray, mengangkat takbir and menaruh tangan arah parut. He understood and gave a gesture which I assumed to mean - Okay. Sorry to bother you, have a nice day!

The deaf couple was nice. Inda ia membawa kelayi. Ani baru ia bisai; kapir zimmi (kafir yang inda mengacau orang Islam). Kapir yang tadi pagi atu kapir harbi; kafir yang menganggu ketenteraman kaum Islam.

Mengganggu ketenteraman ku kali tu ah. Orang tidur kali ah pagi-pagi buta ah. Wajib diperangi tu kalau ikut hukum. Pakal saja housemate-housemate ku tidur masih. Mun inda wah, kami senapang.

Anyway, kan mandi ku dulu! Assalamualaikum.

9 comments:

Rogue Economist said...

Hahahahhaahaha belair mataku ketawa.Lain kali, ambil saja infonya atu pas atu buang. Jgn tah banyak jawab, cakap sja OK OK antam kau ja. Mcm aku ku jawab Yes NO ganya tu, inda bisdia batah tu kalau liatnya langsung inda ingau...OR bawa ja ckap melayu, say No inggeris please ja. Hahaha.

D said...

salams Jir.

These people are quite skilled at what they do bro. Lain kali, if they persist -when you're diluar kawasan rumah, or when you've put on something less sexier than your underwear-, make sure just smile and leave.

Takut karang ditanyanya banyak, diajaknya berdebate, blahblahblah, inda tani terjawap. If terkena yang banar2 handal, takut kitani karang terfikir sendiri pasal our own confusion and doubts. Nauzubillah kan?

abid137 said...

Jirin,
I think Allah SWT trying to remind you that you think on agama more than anything else....
I like that sceptical and spontaneity combustion in you, but for those trying to deviate against Islam...
Ur dead right, u hve not settled ur agama, and now, ur trying to figure out theirs? well..bonkers/..

Once a blue moon, i'd love to see u in boxers against the cold weather..what an aperture...

P/S...M not pervert....nor heterosexual...he he he...

softeyes said...

assalamualaikum Jirin,

I agree with d and abid..just be extra careful bila menjawab dorang, you wouldnt want to be in a debate with these are silent deviationist( and esp when u are only half-dressed! LOL!)

On a serious note, kalau kan menambah-nambah pengetahuan ttg ugama tani, baca Sirah Nabawiyah (Sirah Rasullah, kisah hidup dan perjuangan Islam and also Tafsir Quran of course..bnyk kisah2 teladan & setantunya is our only panduan hidup & penawar segala penyakit ada di sana)

Coincidently today is the 9th Zulhijah Hari Ukuf di Arafah..I Banyak-banyak berdoa Jirin. May Allah always be with you.. Take care.

softeyes said...

assalamualaikum Jirin,

I agree with d and abid..just be extra careful bila menjawab dorang, you wouldnt want to be in a debate with these silent deviationist( and esp when u are only half-dressed! LOL!)

On a serious note, kalau kan menambah-nambah pengetahuan ttg ugama tani, baca Sirah Nabawiyah (Sirah Rasullah, kisah hidup dan perjuangan Islam and also Tafsir Quran of course..bnyk kisah2 teladan & setantunya is our only panduan hidup & penawar segala penyakit ada di sana)

Coincidently today is the 9th Zulhijah Hari Ukuf di Arafah.. Banyak-banyak berdoa Jirin. May Allah always be with you.. Take care.

Madamoiselle ver.2 said...

Hooray Jirin,

Atu baru ya nah, nda masuk kana hasut ..melawan lagi...hehehe..alhamdulillah! Didn't know there wud be people doin' dat over there..al-maklum budak kampung, gadis dlm rumah saja :p.

Anyway, Sempena Hari Raya Haji ani I wud like to say, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha, Semoga Allah selamatkan orang-orang islam disana dari disesatkan. Amin!

p.s: Ada acara korban kah disana jirin?

Jirin said...

Kamay,
ani memajal kapirnya kaa. banar. kan ku tutup sudah pintu atu sebenarnya. memajal bah kapirnya.. cam kaling.

d,
wa'alaikumussalam. aku suka pulang berdebate pasal ugama ani, tapi takut ku saja inda tejawab. hehe so better inda di bawa debate langsung lah. hehehe.

awu iatah. membari ijap. dapat menyesatkan ketani bah ni durang ani. nauzubillah!

abid137,
yes, i agree with you. yatahkan. hehe thanks for dropping by dude.. dudette?

sofi,
wa'alaikumussalam. yeah me too.
wow, thanks for that. thanks, will definitely look it up insyaAllah. THANK YOU!! Selamat hari raya to you too!!!

madamoiselle,
hi. awu ada those kind of people cemani. 'tabligh' durang. Selamat hari raya to you too!!!

Anonymous said...

haha baguih baguih, bleh ikut bdakwah dah ni haha. haha ingat ko masih kan kapir zimmi dan halbi ani, aku nda lagi ku teingat xD

Jirin said...

hahaha anonymous,
hahaha kan kau bawa aku bedakwah? result ugama ku dulu gred dua kali ah. teruk jua sudah tu.