Friday, 21 December 2007

Besar seperti badak

I have been checking out people's profiles and photos on Facebook. Seriously, Facebook-ing is stalking, to the next level. It is beyond stalking. Well, maybe it isn't so much of being a stalker, those profiles are there to be viewed. Those photos that are being put up are there to be viewed. There isn't any other reason. It is for other people to see. Be it people you know, or not.

Facebook seems to be the source to every story you hear nowadays.

Eh si anu ah, belayar ia ke Paris. Eh iawah? Di mana kau dangar? FACEBOOK.
Eh si anu sama si anu masa ani. Eh iawah? Di mana kau dangar? FACEBOOK.
Eh kau tau harga baras masa ani naik? Eh iawah? Di mana kau dangar? FACEBOOK.

Haha just kidding. Inda jua kan hal ehwal kenaikan harga baras pun masuk Facebook. But you see my point kan. It is your daily doze of social stories; be it regarding your friends, or friend of friends, or friend of friends' friends... the sentence goes on.

I will post pictures soon. Balum kamu meliat aku. Labu yo! But I don't know what my current weight is. Jara ku. Tau kamu kenapa aku jara? Cemani ceritanya.

One day kan, the thought of wanting to know my weight had hit me. I hate weight scales. They are never honest. There are some scales which tells me I am two kilos lighter, others tell me I am two kilos heavier. Scale di dapur atu sudah ku naik; barat labih dua kilo. Scale di jamban; ringan tia ku dua kilo. Confused jua ku tu.

Sekali kan, there was this weight scale that I saw. I forgot whose house it was. Lurus ni kalau ku naik, kataku. Naik tah ku, naik.

Anam puluh kilo.

Ah? Anam puluh kilo? Mimpi kah ni? Bedusta ni weight scale sebuting ani. Sedikit lagi ku kan happy tapi mustahil wah barat badanku anam puluh kilo. Ku liat dalam ceramin, anam puluh kilogram tekarang. Mun barat macam anam puluh tungkang, barangkali. Sekali apa sebenarnya nah?

I am SO heavy sampai mengandat wah the standing base and the weight spring. Banar! Mengandat! That's why it stopped at sixty atu. Stress jua ku tu. Kima punya weight scale. Cuba kamu liat, even non-living things have their own way of insulting me. Antam, baik tah ku mati nah. Haha, just kidding!

When I was younger, I used to have this second cousin who looked like me. Umur kami pun inda jauh. Nama nya dang sanak ku, inda jua kan lari mua atu kan. I even agree; we DID look alike.

So it was Raya, two years ago; when this particular cousin and his family visited our family. Macam biasa, of course everyone cerita-cerita lah. Sekali one of my aunties ada cakap and I quote - "Si Jirin sama si anu ani, dulu masa damit: sama ni muka durang. Ganya, si Jirin saja masa ani macam BADAK sudah badan nya."

Mana inda rusak weight scale segala. Badak sumbu wah ku kana sama-samakan. Hahaha. That was funny. Insulting, yes, but, funny too. Haha.

I gotta sleep now. Wassalam!

2 comments:

D said...

Kejam jua kena panggil badak. Kejam kejam. Call child abuse laju -though you cant really call yourself a child. hehe-

Badak sumbu hensem ja, jirin.

Happy Eid Haji Jirin.

Jirin said...

hello d!
hahah awu kejam tapi cali haha. hhaha.

happy eid to you too, d!